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Marina, usually people's revenge is expressed in doing something bad to another person, so that they feel what “pain” they have caused you.
This is similar to a reaction of anger or resentment.
And your doubts about the correctness of such an act are really justified. After all, we can't change another person with our revenge.
And even vice versa, the recipient of revenge may become even more angry and establish themselves in their rightness.
Therefore, a variant of CONSTRUCTIVE revenge has been developed in psychology. when you direct this energy of anger not to destruction, but to do good to yourself or to those people who need it.
For example, if a person has humiliated you, then make more effort to achieve success in life and prove to them that you mean something.
If a person has caused you physical harm, then you can spend your vengeful impulse on those people who find themselves in a similar situation, helping them cope with the consequences.
In this version of revenge, there is much more useful both for you and for society. And, in addition, you will greatly increase your self-esteem by such an act.
By responding evil to evil, we create more evil .
By following the principle of an eye for an eye, the world will become blind .
In general, life itself gives everyone what they deserve , so leave this matter and live on .
They gave a lot of answers about the controversial nature of revenge.
I will add three considerations IN FAVOR of revenge.
The value choice may not coincide with the rational utility “average over the population”. For example, self-sacrifice for ideological reasons from the point of view of such a weighted average pragmatism can be a “neurotic” decision, “immature”, etc. – But at the same time for the person himself in some cases-a deeply grounded personal choice.
It's the same with revenge.
This is a special case of defending personal boundaries through “hyperreaction”. Very many people are not ready to take the risk of “otvetki” at extremely high rates.
Alexander Markov seems to have written about this in one of his excellent books on evolution, The Birth of Complexity.
***
-“All this is not to say that revenge is beautiful and wonderful.
Once upon a time, a man wrote a false report that almost sent me to prison for a long time. I didn't try to get revenge, just cut off all contact. Many years later, I found out that a completely “mirror” story happened in his life. I would believe in karma, I would strengthen my faith. — But… no schadenfreude. Surprise yes. Sadness. -“It happens that way, too…
But in life there is rarely something unambiguously “bad”, “worthless”. Revenge clearly has its sunny side, too. Talion – “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” – is not madness.
Need. Necessarily. But not necessarily immediately. It's better to think about it first. It's like paying back a debt. If you don't get revenge, you'll feel like you owe me. Although who knows how…
A person should make a big difference if he forces you to act in one way or another. There is no point in taking revenge on those who caused you” evil ” out of weakness, stupidity, fear, misunderstanding, just to make them hurt. Revenge is appropriate in case the opponent is of great importance to deal damage if they are strong enough. It makes sense to crush someone who is capable of crushing you or destroying your business, harming your people, but you should not beat a baby for dirty diapers. There are some things that are worth passing by, especially if your actions don't change anything for you.
Revenge is either democratic or an assertion of dominance like a monarchy-and this greatly changes the context of what is happening. And for some reason, revenge is not classified as justice, which is also extremely strange. Fair revenge or what? Self-affirmation? Resentment?
If you are wronged undeservedly, then forgiveness is charity. If you are wronged undeservedly , you always have the right to take revenge worthy of the offense. Forgiveness is charity. Doom's Executioner understands revenge, what would he say?
And revenge is often a heavy burden in our sinful world. A cross, you might say. And you also need to take revenge correctly. If you take revenge everywhere and everywhere for every little thing, then in the end life will work like a mechanism devoid of lubrication, like an engine devoid of grace lubrication, and will soon fail.
You were cut off on the road it is clear that going to take revenge is somehow childish and dangerous, but you can throw off the record in the traffic police. And this is also revenge, because you can do nothing and you will turn into an accomplice.
A stoned ghoul knocked your child to death you can tear it apart it won't get any easier and you'll get another injury. You can not give a chance to ask for a pardon at the trial, and this is also revenge, but fair. Or you can take the money and say that you feel sorry for the person you are a creature and that you have nothing human.
Something like that.
In essence, revenge is already a response, in the form of an action or rebuke. I emphasize the answer! Various philosophical trends or religions give it a negative connotation. And many of them preach very convincingly to give up revenge. And here there is a very clear line when you personally need to make a balanced and adequate decision.
With what measure you measure, it will be measured to you. And if a person has committed some abomination, then it is perfectly fair to give him feedback. Evil must be punished.
Another thing is when a person in the desire for revenge “loses everything”, and the process itself eats him up without a trace, goes over the edge of some kind of obsession, takes away strength and energy. But in any case, the decision is made only by you, there are no ready-made answers here.
They talk about revenge in two ways: “anyone who remembers evil is out of sight, but those who don't remember will be left without a second one” and “if you go for revenge, then prepare two coffins at once – for yourself and your abuser.”
In fact, revenge is an ancient archaic way to protect yourself, your family, and in the end, to punish and stop evil. After all, no one can create indecency against any other person, knowing that this person is a whole clan of his relatives and acquaintances. Will you steal, knowing that if you are caught, you will be turned into a slave or cut off your hand (if your relatives do not pay for the damage)? Will you do all sorts of stupid things when not only you, but also your entire clan (clan) will be responsible for your tricks? And then the family will think and decide-let's figure out for ourselves with our wayward relative, why we should suffer shame, lose respect and our dignity because of this idiot. Revenge is the strongest deterrent, in the absence of a central and strong government.
In modern society, the function of revenge has been taken over by the state. For this purpose, there are “punitive bodies” and “the system of execution of punishments”. If such a system works effectively: that is, it inevitably stops the violation of the law and pays the violators what they deserve, then it is unwise and stupid to take up the axe and take revenge on someone (Note: Laws should not only be enforced, but also be FAIR. The Third Reich, too, had its own laws and they were unfortunately executed).
If you still decided to take revenge, then you should know:
A person who goes for revenge must do it without anger or rage, but be completely sure that he is doing a good deed, purifying the world of evil and sin. It is Christian to forgive the enemy before destroying him. You must understand that when you take revenge, you first destroy the sin along with its bearer, and not the person who committed the sin. You can forgive the sinner, but you are not the Lord God to forgive his sins. You can forgive a person your personal grievances, but you are not a priest to forgive for others. We must humble ourselves before God, not before evil, sin, and the devil. Be honest and fair to your conscience. God has given us free Will – don't use it for evil.
My experience shows that you need to take revenge on your relatives, so you will protect them from the revenge of other forces that will avenge you. The fact is that in this world, not everything is so simple and unambiguous. There are dark forces, there are light forces, and there are many different forces from gray to green.
You have done something unpleasant – you can be forgiven, but for what you have done, the culprit then takes full care of the “other entity”. If you give him an equal dirty trick in response, then he will already be protected.
The most difficult understanding involves severe sins that create a vendetta – an even greater sin. But in these cases, even execution in retribution is not revenge, but only the killing of an already obviously dead entity.
If what you did wrong can not be corrected, then you can only take revenge, but even if you can fix it, you can take revenge. Revenge is appropriate in any case, if you were done badly. It is strange to pay for evil with good. On one site on the Internet it is written that you should not take revenge because it does not make sense and because you will show someone who has done you wrong that you are the same, which means you do not have the right to be judged. This is illogical. The guilty one is the one who did the first thing wrong, the meaning is that he is to blame for what is bad for you, and you do it badly for him.
I am a radical maximalist in this matter. Thousands of years of folk traditions encourage me to do this. But revenge must be cold The power of revenge must be equal!.. yaoko for an eye blood for blood, duel, responsibility of children and grandchildren. By the way! Among peoples where blood feuds are less common among murderers. And the lack of responsibility for insults, injuries, and murders causes lawlessness and dishonor in society. I know for a fact that even now people are being lost, families are being destroyed, businesses are being destroyed, and so on, and there is a secret revenge for the past.Especially in cases where the state cannot or does not want to justly punish the offender or the criminal on merit.
Only the guaranteed punishment of some people keeps them from harmful actions towards others, and this is a just retribution for already committed unseemly acts.At its core, a person is an animal,and the rest is religious nonsense invented to control the masses, so that they do not respond to the aggressor and they can be robbed.
Revenge is possible and necessary, but how?
It should be noted that the goal may be ignoble, but the means of achieving it must necessarily be noble and legitimate.
The best revenge is to engage in personal and professional growth and achieve significant success along the way. And use for this purpose those emotions that arise as a result of the breakup of a relationship.
You shouldn't swear. It is better to improve the relationship as much as possible before breaking up.