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If you love me, then why stop? Love is a wonderful feeling. You can also love more than one person at the same time. One, for example, without reciprocity, the second mutually.�
And if you are in love, the passion is in tatters, but only from your side, so this is not love, but precisely falling in love: a projected feeling. If the subject doesn't respond, it's obvious that the feeling is entirely fantasy. Normally, it happens. If you don't run away into an impossible love (a love that is basically impossible to realize) from your own gags, then you will get over it and it will pass. – But if this picture is of great use: it covers a hole in the wallpaper, that is, living relationships are somehow afraid to live, and fantasy ones replace them-then yes, you can safely suffer in fantasy ones for years…
Understand that the world is huge and rich in resources (deal with your thought “I will never meet someone as good as him again!”, if you have one).
Take offense to it, after all! 🙂
In ancient treatises on yoga, it is said that the more we contemplate the object of the senses, the more we become attached to it.
In other words, the more we think, look, and listen about that person , the longer the erasure process will take.
If, for example, you stop watching and listening about it, the process is somehow more or less achievable, then thinking is already a separate conversation. So no matter how bad you feel, no matter how often and hard you think about him or her, you need to start with the eyes, nose and ears. So that they don't hear, smell, or see this image. This requires determination and willpower in the first stages. What did you think? Another person is like a powerful drug for us, worse than heroin withdrawal. Therefore, in the first days it will be very “breaking” to look, listen, smell. Do not do this, otherwise the process will break up for a long time.
And as for the future, if the first stages are not passed, then do not dream about this stage. “Thinking” can be stopped, but it is much more difficult. You need to tell your friends all your emotions related to this person, so that someone will listen to you. To speed up the digestion process, it is best to do something physically. Work. Trip. Hobby. In general, many tips from the Internet are true. We really need to distract ourselves, otherwise these processes in the mind will not stop.
And then there's only time. If you have stopped seeing, smelling, and hearing, then the mind will start to become detached as well. And in the end, it's just a stupid attachment to the person that you will only suffer from. You already understand this, but you are not afraid to lose this object of love. Because who if not him or her will make me happy? Yes, there is that person, there is. And everything will be mutual with him. Do not waste time and effort on someone who does not need you and will not need you. And even more so to prove something to him. I really want to convince him, to prove that he doesn't understand – it's all useless.
Do you want to know “how to stop loving”? Or how to stop suffering from the lack of reciprocity?
These are completely different results.
It is possible to stop loving by forgetting the ability to love. Not the only way, but very effective. ) Does not exclude the possibility of suffering.
It is possible to stop suffering from the lack of reciprocity by remembering the ability to love. First of all, yourself.
How can I change unrequited love scenarios?
If you assume that a person has what they choose (consciously or unconsciously), then what is the benefit of your subconscious choosing people with whom unrequited love is possible?
I understand if you want to answer that absolutely none. This is a normal first automatic reaction. But if you decide to search for these answers, and approach this process consciously and with sincere interest, the answers may surprise you very much. )
Good luck to you!
You know, you seem to have mixed up love and addiction.
There is a lot of self-confidence in the question. As if love is the one you have in mind, you have the only chance in life and you are holding on to this opportunity, perhaps communicating with this person.
Let's understand what is love? If I ask you, why do you say you love this person? What do you say?
I can assume that you are connected by something, perhaps there are pleasant moments with the person. But the most important thing is the feeling that keeps you close. Or if you are not together, then obsessions that do not leave your mind. The thoughts themselves are boiling. And if we talk about parting, then the feeling inside is just terrible! You may immediately feel uneasy. And you start thinking about what's going to get worse. “After all, you need to tear off a piece of yourself, pull it up by the roots and throw it away. And to live without love is not yet known how long, and suddenly you will not love anyone more?”
Love is a feeling that was given to us initially, we were born with this feeling inside. Our soul is made up of love and light. Do you understand?
The fact is, in order to grow up, you need to go through a lot. We all have different childhoods. It often happens that the feelings of an adult are so crippled and tortured that by the time we need to start a family and expand our energy and love , we have a chronic lack of it. We don't suffer from self-love and naturally we can't fall in love . Why? Yes, because we are used to the fact that this feeling is so small, but what if it does not happen at all?
We don't even think that we are made up of love and light! That we can love the whole world.
If you are not satisfied with this relationship. you just make a choice . Once you decide that you will always remember this person with love and tenderness. But it will not be in your life to make you unhappy! Give your attention and care to those people who are your relatives and give love to yourself! Let this attention that you have previously given to this person bring you joy and pleasure!
Don't think it will get worse. Finish with this, for you the main task. Write a letter and ask for forgiveness and ask for forgiveness yourself in this letter. Write about everything there and let the person go on their way. Let him have his own let and his own destiny, and you have your own! You don't have to make it a life-long event. Everything passes and everything happens in it as you want.
Raise your wealth to the level of satisfaction with yourself and your life. Find a way to convince your subconscious mind that you have a big soul and a lot of love! The more you say good things about yourself every day, the faster you will feel that you do not feel sorry for the love of no one. Your soul is very big and it can do anything.
There will be a person in your life whom you will truly love and adore.
But first, make the right decisions and don't be afraid! Don't be afraid to make mistakes, either. If you start loving yourself more and you have more respect for yourself, it is possible that this person will be with you. Start a different life as a more confident and truly loving person, you'll see how you like it!
It is better to prevent the problem than to solve it later. You need to initially be with a person at a distance. Be a master, not a slave. Be able to stop a relationship with a person in time if you see that nothing good will come of it, and never put your hopes on someone else.�
And even if what happened happened-do not blame the person that he does not share your feelings with you. As they say, everything that is done is for the best. Cupids also miss. Talk to your cupid, let him continue to mark as follows))
You can drown your love, for example, in sports, work, study, friends, and so on.
well, or at least take and figachte wall,
but in no case can you see the way out in alcohol and even more so in self-murder.
dizn is beautiful and this is a fact!)
I hope that helped)
Falling in love is a feeling similar to love, just as Picasso's paintings are similar to photographs of real people. Love will never make you suffer, while falling in love-lust for possession-may very well.
Exhale. Your object of desire has nothing to do with it. This is not about him, but about your idea of his personality. You hyperbolize its good qualities andyou can not and do not want to see his shortcomings, as well as “red flags”in his attitude towards you.
You have a certain mental image of the perfect person in your head that you project on someone suitable as soon as you're ready to fall in love.
Don't you find it strange that the one-and-only-gorgeous person you met was in the Red Price store on your street or where you find them there? I mean, if it's so unique, why didn't you have to search all over the world for it? The fact is that:
a) you can fall in love with anyone under the right conditions
b) you're bound to fall in love with someone else if you don't study and understand the pain you're experiencing right now
Why do you feel like you're going to die if you're not around him? Because he had something to satisfy your hunger. Find out what are you hungry for-attention, care, self-importance, and so on. Answer yourself honestly, recognize your weaknesses, and don't forget that they exist. Knowing them, you won't let anyone play on your feelings.
If a person has given you something that you don't have, acquire it, cultivate it, and then instead of (futilely) looking for a sense of self — worth in other people, you will be self— sufficient.�
And for self-sufficiency and self-understanding, love will also come if you behave well.
it seems to me that the main thing is already correctly noted above!I just want to add that, first of all, you need to accept this irresponsibility and stop thinking up all sorts of “if and if” — without this step, all further steps are meaningless. just accept that this person does not feel anything akin to your feelings for you, realize this until the very end and do not waste time on snot, whining, depression!
The question is quite old, but I would like to share my opinion, maybe it will be useful to someone.
Unfortunately, it is impossible to give instructions that will help you stop loving another person, but the best way out is to give yourself time. Believe me, this is the easiest option, rather than trying to understand the nature of love or engage in autosuggestion. Just be patient and everything will definitely pass.
If we talk about personal experience, I can only advise you not to engage in self-torture, driving yourself into the idea that non-reciprocal love is also beautiful. I think it will only make things worse. You don't need to be so eager to wish happiness to the object of your desire, if at this moment your heart bleeds, and you feel that this is not sincere. Put yourself at the forefront, if you think that communication is better to stop, to make it easier – stop.
I sincerely wish you good luck!
The recipe is from me, because he is now in a situation with a feeling that in my almost 50 years I have never had in my life, despite the fact that I am married and have two children. Take and start writing on a piece of paper a logical justification for why you feel bad, what you see as the reasons for the breakup, and when you touch this action with your brain or logic, and not with your heart, the heart will calm down. Start doing this whenever it gets hard or when your hand reaches out to social networks.
All the advice that you need to enjoy the feeling of love, even non-reciprocal, is unlikely to help. Unrequited love, including getting into a friend zone, is often very difficult to experience, and you can often talk about serious psychological problems. Especially if the unfortunate lover is an introvert and generally not very confident person, not ready for a serious conversation with the object of love, and it is not clear how this conversation will end. And sometimes “the left half of the brain quarrels with the right”, that is, some reasonable entity of a person considers it impossible to introduce and/or continue a relationship with the object of love, and the “romantic nature” in the person of a lover not only sees nothing wrong with such a relationship, but had the audacity to include the feeling of falling in love. The reasons may be different, and the object of love is not always so bad, but the role of the “savior” is not the best role of one of the parties in a relationship between two people. And often a married person is not ready to break off a long-term relationship for the sake of a new hobby. Therefore, when you need to turn off the feeling of falling in love, you need practical advice. Обсуждали тут: https://thequestion.ru/questions/93279/kak-mozhno-otklyuchit-chuvstvo-vlyublennosti-ono-ochen-silno-meshaet
I will answer because I am in a similar situation myself… The story lasts six months, and being no longer a boy, I am surprised at my reactions) But there is an explanation for everything, of course. The fact that I'm naive ( despite 38 years on my back!!) I took it for mutual consent, allowed the fire of love to flare up to unbearable heat)) It hurt almost physically, the object of passion settled in my head so firmly that the horseradish will drive out… Self-deception, hopes, sand plans, search for contact, crazy
suggestions to the detriment of your interests!) Stupid declaration of love, in stupid poems) Then obsession, self-doubt. The situation is unmanageable! Controlling yourself is difficult… sad face, sad look… And search for a solution. Constant thoughts – what's wrong with me?! What I did, said…. But nothing. I just didn't have a response feeling. That's all. Alas, she works together with me) If you stop contacting at all, everything will go faster. But! During this time, I made a reassessment of my values, looked at myself from a side from which I had never looked. I got a couple of hobbies, changed my communication style. Objectively, I've changed a bit for the better) But this is not enough to light up the eyes that you would like. Alas! And my advice to you is to think about how to change. To get better. And more interesting. Not for her/ him. For myself. To regain lost self-confidence. To make sure – it's not about me!) And believe me-a person can look at you differently. And although this is unlikely to happen, it is still a very strong motivator to change yourself, turn the course of life in a different direction, to do something that you did not have the determination to do… It's like the wind in the sea, it's an element… If the wind doesn't blow where you want, unfurl your sails and fly over the surface, feeling the taste of life) It's still better than calm…
You need to try to detach yourself from thoughts about this person. Pay as little attention as possible to him, to any references to him. Try to exclude this person from your life. Do not maintain any contact with him, think about him as little and less as possible.
Fortunately, despite all the apparent complexity of our lives, we are controlled by such simple things as hormones. Therefore, whether you have at least a crazy love for the first 3 years or a wild attachment for 20 years, you will still be able to send kuda away the object of your sighing with one condition if you need it yourself, otherwise you may be a masochist of some kind. All you need is:�
1 Throw out the whole person from life, namely all the little things that were given and do not have much value (I do not recommend throwing out the car), if you do not throw it out, then throw it well in a very remote closet, photo home video, even if it is very piquant content (do not post it on the Internet, for this you can get rid of it), delete her (his) phone numbers, social networks.for example, delete the inscription in the entrance “Akaky + Proskovya= love”, if that's your name, and the most important thing is to avoid personal contact in every possible way. �
2 Take up sports at last because you are already fat ,a good thing is running, after 20-30 minutes of running, you are so happy that you did not die as you expected when you started this jog, that the body produces high endorphin and burns fucking adrenaline, and if you eat a banana while running (I did not try it, but suddenly you will get it), then after getting more seratanin, you will understand that it is cooler to live in the forest near the Christmas tree by which you are running. You can get drunk or addicted to drugs instead of sports, of course, but you'll quickly get stoned, and why do you need it, think about worms, because they also like healthy food.�
3 Do not start a new relationship right away, because if you need advice on how to stop loving, then most likely you are currently a sad shit, so your relationship will not last long, who needs you or needs you, all the time telling what misery the former is, but if you are always jumping on beds, you will have to ask the question how to live with AIDS,�
4 Do something that you didn't get your hands on because of constant sex (I don't mean that you mastrubirovat them all the time, this is a figurative expression), for example, fold all the accumulated beer lids neatly or finally make repairs, otherwise the wallpaper that has been peeled off for 10 years somehow looks ugly in order to bring a new person to the apartment, for the same sex. If you are too lazy to do repairs, you can learn flamenco dance (although I don't know why) or go to the gym again to lose fat, which if you are a girl, then you probably added it from a ton of crumpled cakes during stress.�
5 All the advice from above is complete crap (well, it will seem so to you, but you still better stick to them otherwise psychiatrists will already help some particularly impressionable people) and tokma will help time will pass somewhere half a year, well, if there is progressive sclerosis (like me), if not, then let the year pass and now you don't understand the fuck you know how to dance flamenco and who is this woman who says that she is the mother of your children.
P.S. If there are erudite linguists-humanitarians, then I will immediately agree with you, but I can't go into Russian and now I'm an Uzbek who looks good disguised as a Russian.
It's very simple:
Time must pass.
You must be disappointed.Finally.There may be warmth, sympathy, but not love.�
2.1 The previous paragraph may also include joint projects with a person-it is banal to go camping, work together, make repairs, etc.�