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Ooo, thanks for the question.�
One of my most valuable discoveries is that you don't have to please and try to be “comfortable” to be loved. From childhood, there is an attitude that if you “behave well, are obedient and do not contradict”, then you are loved. But in real life, it turns out quite the opposite – they use you whenever they can and consider you a downtrodden person, unable to set their own boundaries and say what they don't like. It is necessary to say this (calmly and amicably, in order to come to an understanding, but it is necessary to say it), and then people will know how you can not be with you and you will either get closer, or they will fuck off and everyone will be better. The most amazing thing is that as soon as you start to respect yourself and your interests, to know exactly how to treat you, people start to treat you much better. And the extra ones are eliminated.�
I also realized that pathetic men who want to “save and comfort” are attracted only when you have low self-esteem and subconsciously want to increase it by being useful and kind. This is all very disgusting, and I am very happy that by the age of 23 I have already understood these simple truths and life has become a million times better. You need to love yourself and then you will have what kind of relationship you need.
Well, this is probably the fact that if someone is much worse off somewhere than me, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still in the shit, we just have a different threshold for entering it and depth, respectively.
I'm not sure that this has changed my life for the better, but life has become noticeably easier, that's for sure.
Well, first of all, we need to give specifics for the definition of “Life Discovery”. In a general sense, the whole life is a continuous discovery. If we talk about the formed life principles, then probably the following:
The fact that the universe treats everyone equally. All of us are nothing and nobody, in this desert of starry sand. Justice is both a human and subjective concept.
That all people are hypocritical egoists, but each to a different degree.�
I also remember a phrase by Aleister Crowley : “Do as you will, that's the whole law.”
That everything is natural
The best thing I've ever discovered in my life is to strike a balance between two truths:
1) the problem with many people is that they live as if there are some rules, but the fact is that there are none.
2) do everything under the motto: do it normally — it will be fine.�
So we accept some of the chaos and unfairness of this world, but at least we try to make everything “normal” and not “disgusting”.
A couple of years ago, I discovered that for a woman, the idea of what to wear and nowhere to hang, exist simultaneously and are absolutely normal. Understanding this fact saved my family life.
“Every �idea has the power to realize it”
This phrase has two meanings at once.�
1. If you have an idea, do not doubt that you are able to implement it.
2. We are limited in our ideas by our world map. We need to get out of the box more often.
“I'll never know who I really am. I only know what is expected of me. But when it makes me very sad, I start to find myself. And tears bring me comfort.”
Perhaps I have such a discovery. No matter how pathetic it may sound, but I, sorry for quoting the classics, was “deeply plowed” by the discovery of the fact that learning is very cool. He learns absolutely anything that has an interest for you, to learn versatile things. That is, both something practical and something theoretical.�
Learning is not because it is forced, not because it is necessary, not because it will bring some practical benefit (and this is also a fairly weighty fact), but because of the desire for knowledge itself.
It seems to me that as a result, a person in this position has, if not absolute, then at least quite extensive freedom in actions, in thoughts, in preferences, and so on. This removes all the decadent existential torment that comes with arguments about the meaninglessness of life and the like. In the end, it just forces you to develop based on some internal, ever-present fact.
There are many such discoveries. But here is one of the most important:�
You can't make a mistake.
Live with it.
The person who summed up the experience and expressed this idea so briefly and clearly is Kurt Vonnegut.
Due to my age, the discovery of the Internet was a discovery for me.
The surrounding reality begins to change first – the daily way of life, the circle and way of communication, habits, activities and addictions, outlook and feelings ranging from delight to rejection.�
But most importantly, I observe in myself an internal resistance to change myself, especially completely.�
Previously unimaginable opportunities have appeared and expanded ,a lot of time and effort have been released, distances have been reduced, and access to information has been simplified to satiation. But the former river of live contacts has dried up to a trickle, the fundamental meanings of being are distorted ,and individual characteristics and skills are lost. In the inability to look a person in the eye, feel the warmth of a handshake, see the reaction to your address or presence, hear the vibrations in your voice, observe facial expressions, catch the mood and even guess the character traits in a handwritten letter-I find for myself a monstrous loss and breakdown of the psyche in the perception of reality.�
For me, her “taste, smell and colors” go out of my life. There is a constant dissonance – you are open to the whole world, but you are alone; you are “sitting in a shell”, but you do not feel protected, you are aware of all the open ancient and modern practices and achievements in medicine, but you are simply ruining your physical and mental health with inactivity and a new addiction akin to alcoholism, smoking or gambling addiction.
I am glad that young people do not have this withdrawal disorder, they came to the world of the Internet from the cradle or grew up with it. They do not care that the ease of access and speed of receiving devalue any achievement and life itself. But I preserve the remnants of self-discipline, a sense of proportion and the” live stream ” of real life. Because I don't want to change, because I don't understand what is more useful or harmful in this discovery of mine.
On the scale of the universe, any human life is dust. Neither great discoveries, nor art, nor wars have any meaning, because humanity is finite, unlike the universe. Nothing in the world has a meaning and the life of each individual person is needed only by himself, there can be no great purpose.
A discovery that changed my perception of myself: you are good not because you have achieved something, not because you have something that not everyone has, whether it is a thing or a skill, but simply because you are you. You don't need to know anything or know how to be awesome! You are awesome, a priori! Because it's YOU!
The most important discovery, perhaps, is that no one owes anyone anything, and it is rather stupid to be offended and perplexed about people's actions. Everyone has their own vision of the world and its interpretation. From this understanding, it became much easier to live, to change only yourself, if something does not suit in relationships with people, to accept people as they are.
The most exciting discovery that many people are afraid of:�
~The human body is made up of organs, organs are made up of cells, cells are made up of organoids, organoids are made up of molecules, molecules are made up of atoms, and then particles… “everything is held together by the relationship between them, which is also divisible. And not a single soul.
Where did this lead me? In fact, people are conceited, but at the general level, potential coal. But it is important to note that this is not in a negative sense. I began to realize that all I was feeling were reactions, reactions between piles of molecules (at this level I'm still more or less happy to talk about) that exist within the same goal of rational use of energy. And immediately crossed out thoughts on the topic of “The Meaning of life”, and it is clear that he is not in love and not in pleasure, but simply in the sense of being a pile of molecules that try to be rational, in the system generating something wonderful, at least the brain that thinks that it is a pile of molecules. When you mess up without knowing it, you complicate the work of the system, which involuntarily collects you. And that's all very well.
But it's also fascinating that the molecules don't do this on purpose, they're just here by accident, they just do what they can, forming cells with their bonds, and so on, which also don't know that they're part of something big. So it is clear that people are also not the ultimate goal, but a bunch of piles of molecules, which recently separated from other piles of molecules, but together form something more, which is a pile of people, a pile of mammals, a pile of organic matter, … [pysch pysch brain]
This kind of thinking can either drive you crazy or make you realize that you're free enough and accidentally beautiful.
All the problems are in my head. This is indeed the case.
Almost everything depends only on our own thoughts on this or that occasion. If you think positively, then the situation becomes positive, if you think negatively, then it is negative. Example: if you think you are afraid, then you are afraid, if you think you are brave , then you are brave. If everything seems dark to you, then everything is dark around you, if you think that everything is very cool, then it is cool (or immediately becomes cool).
As if the whole thing is only in the subjective assessment and attitude of a particular person to something. I realized this sooooo long ago, but using it all is quite problematic. :- )) To be honest, I can't use it all to the full yet. Someone teach me. :-))
There is such an idea/technique, it seems that John Enright is the author of it, called “velvet roller”. Unfortunately, so far we haven't got around to reading the original source, but in relation to ourselves, it can be formulated as follows::
“Whatever you do, you're always doing the best you can at the moment.”
First of all, I don't know if the author meant this particular interpretation, or if I came up with it after reading some article on the topic and being inspired. But even when I say these words out loud, I feel somehow good, even though I feel that I haven't made much progress in understanding and feeling this idea. In general, I was very much influenced by this idea and others like it.
“No one owes anyone anything.” Once you think carefully about this phrase, try it on yourself and your life will not be the same again. 140140