13 Answers

  1. To understand whether it's time to get a divorce or not, you need to cool your emotions and make a wise analysis of the situation. To do this, follow a simple three-step procedure.

    The technique is specially made not short and not very long. While you complete the tasks, emotions will cool down and it will become obvious whether the divorce is true or not.

    Step 1.

    A. Take a piece of paper and divide it with a vertical line along the sides.

    B. On the left in the column write all the positive features of your husband, and on the right all the negative ones.

    Condition. There must be more than thirty positive characteristics, otherwise a wise analysis will not work.

    How to write down more than thirty positive characteristics of your husband.

    But. Remember all the good deeds of your husband, starting from the moment of your first dates.

    B. Write down what your husband is better at than other men you've met in your life.

    V. Remind yourself: what he taught you, where you went with him, what you saw with him new in the world.

    G. Then add positive aspects in: the husband's attitude to you, to the children, to relatives, in intimate relationships, in helping with the housework.

    D. Remember better his features: when there are problems, when he works, his positive hobbies, joint recreation, his attitude to health and a healthy lifestyle.

    E. At the same time, if in the final lists, the positive characteristics of the husband will be less than negative, then you are currently unfair and see mostly negative. In this case, you need to take a break, and then add positive characteristics.

    Step 2.

    But.Take the second sheet.

    B. Read again in the first leaflet the right column with the negative qualities of the husband.

    V. Write down on the second piece of paper in a column the names of the positive qualities of the husband opposite to the negative qualities.

    For example:

    Greedy – Generous.

    Not attentive – Attentive to me and the children.

    If he earns little – he earns well.

    That is, for each negative characteristic of your husband, write the opposite, positive characteristic.

    This way, the second sheet will show only positive characteristics that your husband doesn't have yet, but you would like them to be.

    Step 3.

    Read the positive characteristics in the first and second sheets and answer yourself three questions: :

    Question 1. If your husband had only positive qualities written down on two pieces of paper, would you think about divorce?

    If the answer is “Yes, if you continue to think about divorce, ” then you'd better get a divorce.

    If the answer is “No“, then answer the following question.

    Question 2. Are you willing to give yourself 30 days to learn exactly how to turn your husband's negative qualities into positive ones?

    Explanation. Turning your husband's negative qualities into positive ones is real. There are two reasons why I say this so confidently.

    But. Because for twenty years I have been successfully helping people create loving relationships, even those who are on the verge of divorce.

    B. Because he himself was on the verge of divorce and found ways to preserve and strengthen the family.

    Back to the question of whether you are willing to give yourself 30 days to learn exactly how to turn your husband's negative qualities into positive ones.

    If the answer is “No, I'm not ready to give myself 30 days”, then you'd better get a divorce.

    If the answer is “Yes, I am ready to give myself 30 days”, then answer the third question.

    Question 3. Are you ready for 30 days to perform simple exercises that will show you in practice that your husband's behavior begins to change from minus to plus, from negative characteristics to positive character traits?

    If the answer is “No, I'm not ready to do anything to save the family”, then you'd better get a divorce.

    If the answer is “Yes, I'm ready”, then copy and send me the phrase “I want to find out exactly how I can turn my husband's negative qualities into positive ones”. Address of my Contact page at the top.

  2. Divorce is a very painful process, especially if you have lived together for more than one year. But there are clear signs, the totality of which may indicate that the marriage has no future, and it's time to divorce.

    1. You've run out of general topics to talk about. If earlier you could chat enthusiastically even about everyday things, now all communication is limited to the words ” good morning “and”good night”.

    2. You don't want to spend any more time together. Don't want to go home after work? Are you annoyed by your partner's presence? It's worth thinking about.

    3. Conflicts out of the blue. You started fighting over things that you didn't care about before. They started throwing serious accusations, trying to hurt their partner more.

    4. You are not interested in your partner's business at all. You don't care where they've been, how they're doing at work, or who they spend time with.

    5. You are increasingly thinking about how much you could do alone. You increasingly have the feeling that your partner is weighing you down and constantly pulling you back. You don't feel comfortable around it.

    And don't be afraid. Divorce is not a sentence. With a clear head, consider whether you are really ready for this step. Believe me, after a divorce, you will start a completely new life, in which there will be many prospects that were previously inaccessible.

  3. I read somewhere that a study was conducted-they interviewed couples who have been together for a long time, as well as people who have separated, and were interested in what the main “chip” is present in the former and before the divorce disappeared in the latter. First place went to (ta-dam!) the presence/absence of respect for the partner. Everything can be corrected, but if one looks at the other as an empty space or, even worse , as a nonentity, then “everything”.

    In my own experience (I am divorced), I confirm the results of this study.

  4. Why do you even need to set yourself up for a divorce? Isn't it better to strengthen relationships in order to be happy in the family ? And in addition to this, avoid one of the most difficult things in life, which puts a dark burden on life (when you leave a loved one, especially children). Then it will take a lot of self-deception to justify it, and still you will not be able to be at peace with yourself.

    But… still, there are circumstances when divorce is the right choice. If you've already tried all the sensible and normal ways to keep your family together, and the person you live with doesn't seem to be reliable at all. Then apparently the only way out is divorce.

    There is a great lack of reliable people right now.

  5. Here you should rely only on yourself and your desire, answers to your own questions. I won't talk about families with any kind of violence: physical, psychological, or financial. About an ordinary family without dysfunctions.
    Quite often, spouses try to keep the family together out of fear of loneliness, fear of being judged by the parent family, fear of a breakup and pain from it, the collapse of hopes and plans. However, when a public contract is discussed, people once again find that they do not agree on very many parameters and a compromise without real violence against themselves is simply impossible. For example, one spouse wants a lot of children,but the second one does not, one is ready to live at home and in the country, and the second one simply cannot live without active tourism. At the same time, everyone feels lonely and unsupported in their desires. One is a fan of big family weekends, and the second one wants privacy, at most the second spouse and children. Etc. When there are many such points and the feeling of loneliness in a marriage grows, it usually multiplies with resentment and conflicts, then divorce occurs.
    However, despite the pain and frustration, divorce isn't always the worst thing for a couple. Sometimes after a divorce, people come back together, just after experiencing a crisis in this way and build a completely new relationship with the same partner, because both have changed and were able to look at the marriage with completely different eyes. Divorce is a stage in the relationship of this couple. Not always, of course

  6. The first year, I did not regret that I married him, but then I began to understand that I was not blind and stupid, we live for the 7th year, the last 2 years probably through force I am looking for an explanation for what he is like, but I am already tired, mentally exhausted.
    On his part, zero emotions, zero help, here he is for the second month at home and just zero of what he did around the house, we swear out of nonsense .
    Just there is some strats in the relationship,I honestly constantly trying to understand him ,but he when even the children of noisy play or there mechano each other touches and fall,not with concern reagire,and with anger,his eyes are wild ,I told him to be a bit softer towards them children,your children ,
    I even have a feeling that in order not to see his displeased face, I'd rather walk alone than listen to his displeasure,so we went to the city on Friday to collect the children in kindergarten,and in order not to listen to him ,I didn't do anything, tomorrow I'll go by bus to do the docks.
    Today we also had a fight out of nonsense,
    The son took the little sisters ' dresses and ran to us, well, I wanted to pick him up, pulled the dresses, and he staggered standing on the couch, at this moment this one jumped up and swung at the daughter,I of course stopped him, as always and said not to do so .
    And he directly tells me – (or on*yy)and this is not the first time ,I already told him not to talk to me like that,
    And we had a fight ,of course he said a couple of times ,I'm certainly not a gift either, I said that I was already tired of his such communication .
    And I said let's get a divorce ,he said no problem, let's-said tomorrow I'll go and find out the details.
    I don't know what to do ,but I'm honestly tired.

  7. It's time to get a divorce if you feel that the person you live with is gradually becoming a stranger to you and you don't want to tell them how your day went, what excites you, pleases or upsets you. It's time to get a divorce if you no longer feel love for your partner, like the characters in Nina Kislitsyna's novel “I Love and Hate”.

  8. I knew it was time to get a divorce when she stopped nagging me about my dirty shoes… Or rather, that's all, I already have nothing in this marriage and need to prepare for the inevitable: (

  9. Here you are sitting across from her, talking about something, and then the thought occurs to you: “I'm going to lean over the table and strangle her to hell, but then what do I do with the corpse?”
    And you don't bend over, and you don't choke, and you keep talking.
    But know this.
    It's time

  10. Well, here you are sitting at home, alone, and everything is fine: the children (if any) are packed, the animals ( if any) are fed and walked, dinner ( if necessary) is ready or even better eaten. There is coffee, friends with whom you chat, a book/movie that you are looking forward to. And only one thought does not give rest, now he/she must also return to this beautiful cozy world, which will immediately collapse. Just from his / her presence. And you listen to the cars drive up to the entrance and feel the rustle of tires determine whether it is he/she or not. And every time you breathe a sigh of relief if it's someone else's rustling. And you understand that you, in fact, will be better off if that very” your ” car does not arrive at all. We agree to everything: any false or even truthful text message. You dream that he / she is suddenly visited by an irresistible desire to see his / her parents in another city/country and he/she has left there for a LONG TIME. Or to arrive, but so late that you would already have time to enjoy all your simple joys to the fullest and go to bed. And when you wake up, he/she will be gone again. In this case, it is definitely more honest and correct to get a divorce.

  11. I am now listening to a course of lectures on psychology, I came across an interesting fact on the topic of the question. Statistically, one of the most reliable predictors of divorce is eye rolling. If in a conversation between themselves and the therapist, the spouses “roll” their eyes, it means that they will soon divorce with a high degree of probability.

  12. Let me just tell you one story from my life, and you can draw your own conclusions. So, I had one friend. He had a good career, a car, an apartment, a summer cottage, a wife, children and a monkey wrench.

  13. 1) You feel unhappy in your relationship.�

    You get tired of constant swearing, don't want to see your partner, and constantly wind yourself up.

    2) You can't be yourself around your lover.

    You can't be awkward, funny, awkward, or uninhibited around your partner. You can't feel as free around him as you would if you were alone.

    3) Attempts at total control by your partner.

    Your partner reads your messages, demands a printout of calls, reads your diary and makes you report on every action, constantly violates your personal space.

    4) You risk being isolated.

    Your partner requires you to be present at all times. For example, you want to spend the evening with friends in a bar / cafe/restaurant, and your beloved is persistently trying to dissuade you.

    5) You are constantly jealous, or you are constantly jealous.

    Your partner can make a scandal out of the blue on the basis of jealousy, jealous of “every tree” and “pillar”.

    6) You regularly face depreciation of your personality, victories and achievements.

    For example, you talk about how you were promoted at work, but the partner says something like “now everyone can do this”, “these are small things and nonsense”,” but I…”,”but my colleague…”.

    7) It is difficult or impossible to think about the future together.

    Your dreams and plans for a shared future may or may not exist at all.

    8) You try to impose a sense of guilt (well, or you try to do the same).

    You are constantly accused of quarrels, causes of conflicts, small salary, etc. etc. etc.

    9) Outbursts of uncontrollable anger.

    Conflicts can lead to fights or damage to common property.

    “Based on motives” – �http://www.adme.ru

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