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I once wrote an article called “Invitation to Suicide,” about twenty years ago. Fortunately, the editor-in-chief was on vacation, and the deputy Secretary of State was too friendly to me. The article was published in a local regional newspaper. And then, when the editor-in-chief came back, he fired me for moral reasons. I think he did the right thing.
But the topic of the article is relevant. And now I would write the same article again with the same title. Just there, after the facts and reasoning (the article was written in the form of an essay), there was a direct call to kill yourself, but only in order to live a real life!�
I called for killing my ego. The ego can be killed, but usually it is a very long and painful process called life. But it is impossible to kill your true self. Because it is super-eternal. It is beyond time and eternity. Beyond our comprehension. Outside of our laws. Out of space. It is not a point of consciousness, it is not a silent observer, it has no signs… It cannot be found, detected, or fixed…. It manifests itself when it sees fit.
It is there. This is our “I”.�
The point of suicide is to kill the ego. Kill your dragon. This is the meaning of all hara-kiri. Samurai in hara-kiri do not kill so much themselves-they kill their ego, as it were, because they are well aware that the true essence of the human being is unkillable in principle. In India, there is even a local religious movement (Jainism), the most zealous followers of which voluntarily starve their bodies, intending to achieve liberation from their ego in such an extreme way.
If you have almost been touched by the hand of suicide, then just find out its nature. Ask yourself what can be killed and what can't. What is and what does not exist. Do you exist on your own so that you can be killed? I mean, do you have an ego? Maybe it is so small that it is difficult to reach it with a dagger blade?
There is also an opinion that death does not exist at all. There is only life in different forms. This, by the way, does not contradict the well-known law of conservation of energy. Someone will not be able to pass into nothing, because there will always be a drop of elusive “ktoynost”.
If you are fed up with the circumstances of life, then it means that this has its own, or rather your meaning. The eventful outline of our life is sometimes an intensive massage of our values. A powerful kick in the ass made many people great.
People are looking for freedom, ha! And why shouldn't freedom seek freedom from the people who bore it? Man does not live by people alone. Man lives in an amazing fairy tale of nature. He is a witness to an incredibly mysterious starry sky. He is an observer of amazing animal behavior patterns, even insects make us smile!�
You can do something absurd. Just do it regularly, a little at a time. It's all about regularity. This is how willpower appears when you do something regularly, even if it is absurd. You can also do something familiar, for example, Athos monks weave baskets to the hum of the incessant inner Jesus prayer. But you can be even simpler, and pick your nose. Just do it consciously. That is, to do it as the last person on Earth would pick his nose before he died.
Yes, yes, imagine yourself as the last person on Earth. There's no one else. You will say this does not happen! But I will object. In fact, each of us is such a last person on Earth. Each.�
Life is a serious thing, tricky. Everything seems to be on the surface, but there are so many different creases and scuffs… Life is as rough as the tongue of a dog that has licked your hand. You can see your stupid face everywhere you go.�
You know, being the last person, I just decided to live out my life in peace. I like to be calm. Polite. Normal. Perhaps you have (nothing that you switched to?) a different, more violent temperament. Then, as an exception, you can beat your head against the wall a little. It can be useful.�
By the way, Adolf Harrasch (personal psychologist Vlad Listyev) has a wonderful article “Psychohygienic loneliness”. This is if you want to read something at the end. An ancient article, of course, but there is one on the Internet, you can find it yourself.
A story must also have an end, according to Nikolai Berdyaev, a brave aristocrat who could punch a lady in the face if she was insulted in front of him. He meant the history of mankind, the history of time. That's a great idea. If there is a beginning, there must be an end. Then it makes sense. If the bad infinity continues, then the meaning is subject to inflation, it becomes much less. But this is so, if we do not agree with Zeno, who proved that motion (of a process as such!) it doesn't exist. The turtle won't budge. And if you agree?�
And if there is not only such an abstraction as ” movement “(read “time”), but also others? For example, “space” does not exist. What should I do then? However, then the concept of business also evaporates, verbs are completely removed from our speech life. If you remove all the abstract words one by one, we will disappear. It's like we never happened.
But our “I” is there. That's what's weird. Everything else evaporates without a trace, and this thing remains unchanged. More precisely, not unchangeable and not changeable. This is roughly how Buddhists define the nature of the Buddha. They prefer negative definitions of the mystery that is constantly open here. Even the academic philosopher Vladimir Solovyov also had a hand in this, saying a few words about “positive nothingness”. But I think he was under the spell of the Holy Spirit, otherwise he would have declared a ” positive no one.” But, of course, if he said so, it would not coincide with the wording of religious dogma. And religious dogmas were not just created, they must be respected, they are tested by time, by generations of saints.
Academic philosophers are forced to take public opinion into account. And that's right. Society must be respected. This is our common mother. You can't throw stones at the mother who nurtured us with stereotypes (useful and not so useful). This is life. You just need to create new stereotypes from existing ones and become a part of the social mother yourself. This is our fate.
What is sadness? I'm sure you don't know. If you enter sadness as your home, your heart will explode. It is said that this has happened to some people who have experienced sadness. The fact is that in this native house you will see a lot, even a crowd of strangers who only ask for one thing: love me! This is strange. Everyone asks for the same thing, as if they were encouraged. Just pick at each one, and there's only one request.
Goodbye, last man!
We need to reprogram ourselves. “Oh cool, I'm not even afraid to die now. If I'm not afraid, why don't I do everything that can be useful to me and my family, everything that can be useful to society, everything that I was afraid to do before.”Go and do it, I advise you to start with the words that you were afraid to say. Since you are so brave, go and tell the people who are ruining your life that they are freaks and their destructive actions led you to think about suicide, then tell them that you still love them and wish them happiness, but you don't have to do this to other people anymore. Then go clean up the garbage on the streets, since your life is worthless, then you can spend your time on other people and their comfort. When you clean up the garbage, take it all on camera and put it on YouTube, call the video “garbage collection before suicide”. Then you need to find a person who will remember you from the good side, go through the streets and choose some homeless person, make sure that he is not an alcoholic and give him all your money, go with him to buy groceries. And on the way, tell him about your problems, about the difficulties that you have in life.
Do all this, and then if you have any new questions, you can write I'll come up with new cases for you.
Think about what awaits you after death. What if atheists are wrong? They can't prove that there is nothing after death? And if Jesus Christ is right, for example, and after death there is a different reality and it is far from “rosy” for those who committed suicide? Those. you can not take your life and death lightly. When we buy an expensive item (which is expensive for us), we carefully weigh and think about everything. Is it worth frivolously “buying” your own death? After all, what could be more valuable than life?
When you deliberately stay face to face with something unpleasant for a long time with the intention of solving it.
Then time passes and a person gains the ability to face something or someone and not feel uncomfortable.
Then you need to enable logic. You can kill yourself at any time, so why rush? It's better to try a lot of things before you die that you haven't tried yet. For example, what is worse than death to go to high-altitude China and take up farming? This is much more interesting than death. A person who is no longer afraid of death, does not hold anything and can do whatever he wants. This is a state of complete freedom.