How to develop stress tolerance?
To attack, not defend. To make the other person justify himself, and not to justify himself. For example, in the following situations::For spontaneous dating on the street.To form a response in a polemical dialogue, when the interlocutor starts to push or becomes personal. For attempts to hurt your self-esteem or dignity. To participate in situations where reaction and concentration are required.
The trick is that: To develop stress tolerance, you need to get rid of the internal mechanisms of the psyche that lead to stress.
Any person is initially happy. In other words, if you remove all the causes of unhappiness, you will become completely happy.
The most important point in this is to understand what makes you unhappy, and the main mistake of those who want to be happy is in the pursuit of happiness itself.
It's the same with stress:
The desire to develop stress tolerance can itself lead to stress.
But what if we approach stress tolerance not as an effort and action, but as a relaxation? Remember who is considered the most stress-resistant?
Someone who is tense and ready to fight back at any moment, or someone who is relaxed and calm?
My deep belief is that stress tolerance is about relaxation and the ability to let go of anything that might cause others to feel stressed.
What do you think?
Stress tolerance, simply put – the ability of the body to withstand increased stress and at the same time do something else-think, answer questions, do some work. I.e., stress resistance is a physical characteristic of the human body set by nature, like the color of the eyes or hair. What you were born with, you live with. You can't” develop ” it. But you can train them.
Here you have written a list of situations in which you would like to be more resistant to stress. All of them assume that a person who has specific communication skills can easily cope with them if they practice doing it. You can train: at social and psychological trainings; in the company of a friend / girlfriend, acting out thematic scenes; using the biofeedback method (biofeedback), developing the skill of effective behavior in a specific situation. Understanding that you can see the course of events several moves ahead and know what to do in this or that case will dramatically add confidence and reduce your stress level.
You can go the other way and work with a psychologist (or psychotherapist, if the situation requires it). Then there will be gradual internal changes that will lead to an understanding of their own characteristics, an increase in self-esteem and a decrease in the level of stress in a number of situations. As a result, there will be no need for the desire to “attack, not defend… to make excuses for others, and not to make excuses for yourself” – simply because no one will attempt to attack and make excuses.
How to develop high growth? How to increase the number of teeth in your mouth?
It's possible! And it turned out for me personally. However, within very limited limits. It's like being able to honestly stretch one and a half centimeters in height (up to 185 cm at the moment) with deflections, vises, and stretching on blocks. There are also special traction simulators for this purpose. I also managed to grow a wisdom tooth unexpectedly for myself, with which you can't get enough trouble later))
But for 99.9% of people, the two phrases in the title of my answer sound like a stupid joke. These people are right that it is better not to waste time on such activities.
That's about the same thing happens with the development of other personal properties, which by nature someone is not given. For example, with the development of stress tolerance. Yes, you can develop it. But the result will not justify the effort.
Therefore, it is better to spend your resources on avoiding situations in your life that are normal for other people, but unnecessarily stressful and traumatic for you. You can't do it without them at all; you just need to survive these toxic periods on the principle:”stand for a day, but hold out for a night.”
PS Regarding dating on the street: according to the statistics I have collected from girls, as well as from personal experience, this is more of a confidence exercise than a reasonable action that leads to results. If you need a result-do it not on the street))
The main quality that helps you cope with stress and, therefore, increases your stress tolerance in psychology is called internality.
I want to quote what I wrote about this earlier:
Basic principles of internality development I described it in more detail here. In addition, there is also an interesting gift prepared for you. Read it to the end, it will be useful.
Stress is your response to external stimuli, that is, stress is generated by you, and not by the external. Understand yourself and there will be no more stress. I advise you to take everything that happens around you not as good or bad, but as a given! Everything external is a given, and you are a person capable of coping with any given. There is no stress, there is only your reaction and your perception of the world around you.
This is a slightly incorrect question.
You might ask, ” How do I learn to hold a punch in a fight and not fall when I get hit?”
But really to dream :” how would I learn to hit hard in a fight and win.”
In principle, both goals are related, but there is a difference:
Mental stability is primarily the ability not to take offense at verbal blows.
You have probably noticed people who are confident in themselves and who respond to insults only calmly grin and easily continue their thoughts. And it's impossible to make them lose their temper.
Moreover, such people are identified and avoided by all aggressors by a confident look alone.
Gypsies-crooks do not cling to such people, boorish sellers do not raise their voices at such people, etc.
To train this ” zen ” here, you need to remove all your weaknesses. Everyone has a sore corn, when pressed on which a person can explode with hysteria or crying.
So you need to study all your weaknesses well and … download them with daily workouts, just like you download a limp. Through pain, through unpleasant memories.
The best thing to do is to go to a place where you need to get in touch with 20 or more new clients every day and you need to solve mini-problems with them every day.
3-4 months and your ability to avoid conflicts and resolve them will significantly improve.
And having at least a little perfectionism and motivation, this is quite real.
Developing stress tolerance is easy. Find peace and maintain it. Then no words or actions can touch you.
But to teach you how to harm others and make others as unpleasant as you are now, to teach you how to hurt other people's self-esteem and dignity is terrible, please leave these ideas.
You will be able to react quickly when you are calm and collected, focused. When you are calm and confident.
Find peace of mind. Gain confidence in yourself and keep them. In this way, other people's words will not hurt you, and you will be able to calmly and sensibly judge and act rationally – in the most profitable way for you, quickly, clearly and intelligently. Remember your interests. Control yourself. And in this case, only calmness can help, and second of all confidence.
I think you will find information about ways to find and maintain peace of mind yourself.
For the goals you listed, you need to develop communication skills rather than stress tolerance.
The ability to repel an opponent's attacks, the ability to get acquainted on the street, to make people justify themselves, and not justify themselves-all this is solved by the ability to negotiate, develop communication skills, knowledge of conversational techniques, phrases that allow you to gently (or firmly, depending on the situation) put a person in their place, say no, get acquainted, etc. Depending on what you need.
You can read books on negotiation, watch videos on this topic, and then hone your knowledge in practice. It's not as hard as it sounds. ☺
Stress, according to science, is the entry of the hormone kartisol into the human blood.This is the chemistry that takes place in our body,we do not get pleasant sensations, then adrinalin is released by the adrenal glands and we are ready to be fully armed.The more often we train this state, the easier it will be for us to bear it,so we should not run away from stress,but go to meet it…
Only practice allows you to develop whatever it is.
If you want to develop stress tolerance, put yourself under stress.
The more you expose , the more you develop.
Depending on your talent and aptitude, you can develop it quickly, increase your sense of confrontation accordingly (the ability to avoid being stressed when meeting them), or for a long time.
The main thing to remember is that stress is different from stress, and if you can calmly react to a scream, explosion and bleeding people, then a bungee jump is quite capable of causing it again.
We are inevitably faced with failures, criticism, or sudden misfortunes, and this is so discouraging that even a person gives up and gives up. Stress tolerance will help you not to be afraid of life's difficulties.
How to develop it?
1. In case of failure . It is useful to analyze your own mistakes and draw conclusions. Then, in another difficult situation, we will be the master of the situation, not the victim .It would be good to make a plan of action.
2. When misfortune comes. Life is unpredictable. No one is immune from misfortune, as one wise book says:” That it is not the agile who get a successful run, it is not the brave who get a victory…but time and chance are for all of them. ” It turns out that the reality is that it is not possible to protect yourself from adversity.
You don't want to develop stress tolerance. Stress tolerance is a set of qualities that allow the body to calmly tolerate the effects of stressors without harmful outbursts of emotions that affect activity and others, as well as can cause mental disorders.
You write about how to stop being afraid, how to react quickly to some insults, how to form determination.
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Although stress resistance is a very important quality and also does not hurt in life.