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Should I? Isn't it better to respect those who deserve respect and make you feel that way? Why is it hypocritical to try to respect those who, from your point of view, are not worthy of it?
If he is simply unpleasant to you personally, but in fact has many strong qualities, then just redirect your attention from what you do not like, to his outstanding advantages.�
For example: The boss grumbles in the morning, runs over small things, and is generally not very fair. And so it has been for half a year. But this moshchnetsky guy donkeys more than anyone else in the office, I come – he's already here, I leave – he's still here, and in fact the whole company is based only on him. Besides, he has two children and his mother is sick, and he only snorts because he's tired, apparently. No wonder I couldn't have worked so hard with his bad leg.�
Or something like that.
Everyone and everyone is right in their own way, and my advice is to treat everyone with respect, because that's how I was brought up. But despite this, “I don't care,” If a person is not pleasant to me, ” I keep this communication to a minimum and do not attach importance to the emotions that this person causes. Проще Simply put, �I use most people for any purpose, and communicate only out of necessity.When I want to talk or share something, I call or make an appointment with one group of people, but if I need something for work, I do the same. And believe me, it helps. Well, a great option is to shift your attention to the useful, good features of a person, Maybe this will allow you to respect the person you don't like. From love to hate is one step away.
Try to imagine yourself as a lender, and the rest of the people you interact with-as borrowers, from the position of which you are also a borrower. Each participant in such a relationship credits others with the following markers of respect::
with trust,
with empathy,
respect for your personal space,
which are mutually credited to him by these others. For example, with more or less responsible mutual lending with these tokens by the predominant number of participants in the relationship, most people:
can walk down the street without fear of getting stabbed in the back (trust);
understands that if you were stabbed, everyone you met would feel pain comparable to what they would feel in a similar situation, plus they would face similar problems, like paying for treatment and all that (empathy);
does not brandish a knife around other people, even if he gets pleasure from it (respect for personal space).
Let's take another example. For example, a homeless person who travels on the subway and stinks all over the car violates your personal space with his stench and loses confidence in you (he will probably stink the next time you meet him), but not empathy (“what would it be like to stink like this?”, ” what would happen to me if I led a similar lifestyle?”) and respect for personal space (you are unlikely to neglect personal hygiene before the next trip to the subway). However, everyone is free to do otherwise and throw the homeless person out at the next station, denying him empathy and violating his personal space.
It is obvious that the three elements mentioned above, which are mutually credited by people, are converted into each other not according to a specific formula, but according to the situation, so “case studies”are widely used in applied ethics. In my opinion, the best strategy is to determine the basic level of trust, empathy, and respect for personal space that you are willing to credit any random person with by default. Just for being human. And then include case studies and act on the situation, but in such a way that you do not discredit yourself, but help the discredited to gain their own respect.
And speaking of Zen, imagine yourself in a public swimming pool full of people, where it is customary to relieve yourself while in the water. You can leave the pool, but a real bodhisattva, seeing such an opportunity, will return to the water, try to dissuade people from pissing in it, and guide some to the shower.