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The most important criterion of the norm is social adaptation (the ability to be a full-fledged member of society). If a person's characteristics lead him to social maladaptation, this is a mental disorder. On the one hand, these are very blurry boundaries, but everyone understands everything.
If a person does not have a good relationship at work (he hates everyone, he is reciprocated) – he has psychological problems (if, of course, he is worried about this). But if he is regularly dismissed from work (for example, because of aggressiveness), then he may be a psychopath, that is, his characteristics do not allow him to get a job in society. Moreover, these features cause similar problems in any sphere of life. This does not necessarily apply to aggressiveness, but also to any emotions. High anxiety, in case of illness, will also periodically lead to absenteeism from work, to the absence of close relationships, etc.Too good a mood leads to the inability to calculate the consequences of their actions (the result is the same). This is psychopathy.
In big psychiatry, everything is even more obvious. If a guy is embarrassed to communicate with a pretty girl, it's just a problem. If he begins to think, let's say that scientists/aliens/KGB officers do not allow him to approach the girl, controlling his thoughts and actions from a distance-then he probably has schizophrenia. In general, people who are mentally ill do not have hallucinations, but a reaction to them. We all see hallucinations in our dreams, but we don't perceive them as part of reality.
Manic-depressive psychosis affects only the mood, but so much so that it makes a person completely inadequate. Endogenous depression, in addition to mood, also reduces mental and behavioral activity. Provokes ideas of self-incrimination (up to delirium) and thoughts of suicide. Sometimes this even leads to “extended suicide”: the patient comes to the conclusion that he has so ruined the lives of his loved ones (family members) that it is necessary to alleviate their suffering (kill); after which he kills himself (for a long time and painfully – punishes himself). The opposite state, a very good mood (mania), leads to the fact that a person cannot concentrate on one thing, they will endlessly trust everyone (they can give an apartment to the first person they meet, collect a bunch of sexually transmitted diseases), and make inadequate decisions. Maybe, for example, go hitchhiking all over the country, without any money at all (or, on the contrary, with all the family savings).
Alcoholism and drug addiction are mental illnesses that cause personal degradation (harm to physical health fades into the background). But nicotine addiction is formally considered a mental illness, but it does not cause personal degradation. But it is necessary to be able to provide medical assistance to those who wish and to indicate the position of the medical community.
If we talk about the border between the norm and pathology, then in most cases that are not related to explicit psychiatry, when just “tearing up the tower”, the border is quite wide and conditional. All that is found in the norm, all normal psychological reactions take place in pathology, only in other ratios. But it is quite difficult to make the correct diagnosis yourself. You can be a little crazy person, but you can't be a little healthy – it's easy to make a mistake 🙂