Why do people spend their whole lives torturing themselves?
Isn't that absurd? Life is extremely short, do you need to suffer and force yourself to do something at the insistence of others? A similar, boring, and ridiculous life (although it's hard to call it life): through the power to serve 9-11 years in school, suffer through university, spend most of your life plowing in an unloved job, why do you need such an existence, and why do many people consider it normal? I believe that the most meaningful thing in the life of monks or hermits (although I am not very religious myself) is that they are at least free, because they are not bound by society, but live according to their own will.
Each person is unique. Everyone has their own stereotypes of pleasant-unpleasant-neutral. Everyone has their own idea of comfort. For one person, going to the same job for 50 years and twisting the nut on the bolt is a torment. For another, it is the highest happiness, because this is exactly what his model of a comfortable stable life is based on. Even if they will be paid the minimum wage, they will still prefer to stay in the usual conditions, when they do not need to solve new issues every day, load themselves with worries. If such a person is fired, his life will lose its support.
That is, torment is the result of a mismatch between the external and internal world of a person. And everyone has their own inner world. Everyone understands the word freedom in their own way. For some, freedom means constant changes, new vivid emotions, new acquaintances, and travel… For another, freedom means please get out of my corner and leave me alone. And there are seven and a half billion such options.
The world does not stand still. All the routine monotonous work that people now temporarily have to do is sooner or later automated. Workers will gradually be transferred to an unconditional basic income. It's like a pension that will be paid from birth. Such experiments in European countries have shown that even with a paid living wage, most people do not stop working, but find different types of profitable and useful creative activity for themselves. In the next few decades, these processes of automation and computerization, as well as the gradual physical distancing of people due to pandemics, will greatly change the structure of society. Most people will work remotely from their home workrooms (agree, similar to monks in caves?). Therefore, the question of routine work as a restriction of freedom will no longer be so important. Important questions will include: what to do with yourself, which virtual world to choose for entertainment, what to do when you are tired of doing nothing…In other words, the concept of freedom will change for many people.
There are those who do not torment, but choose their own even consciously. There aren't many of them.
There are others. Probably, some of them really suffer, and some of them are quite satisfied with the situation, even if it doesn't look like it from the outside. After all, if a person is decidedly not satisfied with something, he immediately begins to make a lot of active movements (well, approximately as if a hand got into the fire – hardly anyone will tolerate and think: they say, suddenly it will stop?). By the way, it's not a fact that these moves will make things better, but they will definitely change.
There are also people who live exactly as you indicated: an unloved school, an unloved university, an unloved job – and at the same time they understand this, and are dissatisfied, but do not change anything (do not even try). Why? I don't have the strength. They don't know how. They don't believe it's possible. I like being a victim, because this state gives a lot of emotions (negative, yes – but for many, this is the way out).
As for the monks…. then there are as many restrictions as the mundane could not dream of. Moreover, people usually choose this path consciously.
Not everyone torments themselves: “for someone, the glass is half full, and for someone, it's half empty.” After all, everyone has their own way: someone's endless movement, competition, gaining new knowledge, hard experience and extraordinary impressions-only inspire and spur, but, of course, there are, of course, those who are all oppressed, tired and forced to withdraw into themselves and seek help from various psychologists there or seek solace in religions, and some even become hermits, as you noticed. I don't want to say it's a bad thing. It is ok. It's just that everyone is different.
However, despite the difference, most people on our planet still prefer not freedom in the form of seclusion somewhere in the mountains in the “lotus position”, but the struggle for freedom in society, passing through life's trials and difficulties. And they choose this path, not at all because of masochistic tendencies, but because this path is more correct, even if it is difficult, and sometimes unbearable for some people because of their character.
By the way, even religions confirm this:
In Christianity:
Grief is an unpleasant thing. But behind all this-pain, sorrow, and trial – lies God's blessing, rebirth, and perfection of the person or family.
In Islam:
Everything in this life is a test. Allah says in the Qur'an: “It is He who created death and life in order to test you (and see) which of you is better in what you do.”
I think that psychologists will tell you the same thing: you need to live life actively, and leave peace and thoughts about the eternal for the final stage of it. Of course, this does not mean that one should not think about the meaning of life at working age), but only that one should not sit in the “lotus position” away from everything mundane for most of his life.
This is a difficult question, and I'll try to answer it.
Part of the reason is that the path from school to work described above is the most stable way to live, because it is the one that will cause you the least suffering. In fact, the whole system is built with such care for the average person that he can not think too much about what is happening, because it is thoughts that cause the most intense suffering. Therefore, this path is the most popular, a sort of Mahayana for all citizens.
So don't underestimate the power of social order – rest assured, it wasn't idiots who built this world. If you think carefully, you will notice that thanks to such a device, you have everything that makes your life very comfortable – light, heat, supermarket products.
And believe me, the risks and difficulties that everyone who tries to live with their own mind experiences are not always worth it. This path may be more difficult, but you should definitely not see only romance and adventure in it – often these are long difficulties and a real danger of death. Because if you're not too rooted in work, family connections, and other anchors of the same order, you can easily be blown away like a lone reed by a strong gust of wind.
It's a long topic. And so. The Lord has commanded us to live in joy. To please ourselves, we will not put bans on ourselves and adapt to the opinions of others. What will happen? Example: I like to drink alcohol, cheat on my wife, and so on. I will not deny myself the joys and quickly get drunk and lose my family. The Bible cannot be interpreted unambiguously. What then? It all depends on your own perception of what is happening and your attitude to life. Someone is a burden to sit at a desk for many years, and someone is happy. Someone is happy to deny himself alcohol and give his wife a gift, and someone will choose to get drunk. If you stop forcing yourself to do something, you can turn into jelly. Monks and hermits also force themselves to do something, and they are also addicted, just like the rest of us. Verse-info for reflection :
There is no freedom
Igor Babichenkov
Inspired by Olenka Lazareva's poem
“Boomerang Trajectory”.
Alas, alas, we only dream of freedom–
Everyone has their own addiction.
Our essence cannot change,
How unchanging is the essence of being:)Good luck!
By the very fact of existence, we suffer all our lives. Simply because we have natural needs, such as food and sleep. We think that we love to eat, but in reality, we simply can not exist if we do not eat, physical pain and mental. That's how it works. But we can find joy in every moment.
Because we are human beings!
Well, how can I calmly take the fact that Vaska from 1-B runs better than me, and Mishka sings better than me, and Seryozha has such a collection of stickers…
Well, how can I not worry?
Did you see what my mother gave Vaska? A scooter! And they gave me a book… And what do I need a book for, you can't ride it.
And why is Natasha running after Kolya? He's lazy and tight-lipped, and his nose is crooked and his ears stick out… and she runs after him.
Wow, what a car Sidorov drove up in! Where does he get so much money, although it is clear from where – he steals.
Damn, but I'm honest, I didn't steal anything and that's why I don't have a car.
And this is how to understand it? Why did they give Ivanov a commemorative medal, a prize, and only a certificate for me-these are the scoundrels! I'm much smarter and better than Ivanov!
So what if we're friends? Let now one try to go fishing, he will not catch anything without me!
That's how we live-we can…
Therefore, we torment ourselves, our relatives and friends!
And after all, no one can compare themselves with a loser-vanity will not allow it.
All the joy of Life and understanding WHO is preventing this!
Certainly. Of course, this is absurd. Forcing yourself to live in hell.
But do you have an alternative?
The life of a monk or hermit (or dervish) is a struggle. She just looks calm. And if you are ready to fight, it does not oblige you to become a believer.
And if you are not ready , the world is unlikely to leave you alone. You'll end up in an even bigger hell, you won't be able to breathe.
However, try it. =))
The obvious answer, alas, is that people torment themselves at school in order to enroll in the next educational institution and because the state obliges them to receive secondary education. People “want” to enter the next educational institution and suffer there in order to learn a profession. It is advisable to suffer more in a good university, so that later you will suffer less at work and have a better job, and a warmer place. Actually, this whole epic is just to do more or less at least a little interesting and earn money for your “wishlist” and household needs. All for the sake of an interesting business and / or for the sake of money. And considering that most of the interesting cases are sorted out and not so many will have enough of them, it turns out that all the torment is for the sake of money. You can check with the question – if bam, and there was a lot of money, there would be no need to earn it at work, then many would go to suffer at school and work? Probably few. Alas, to have something to eat, you need to earn money. Monks live on the alms of those who work. You might say they feed the monks. The monks ' freedom is very questionable. Life is easier for a monk, in a sense, yes. But his day is filled with the same duties from morning to evening. It is easier than a hermit, who is unlikely to find time to engage in contemplation and peace, because most of the time he is busy looking for food. What freedom does a hermit have? From morning to night, think only about food and rush around day after day in search of it?
Only the very rich have freedom, independent of their food-seeking and responsibilities. Here they are definitely free. They can not work and do what they want, having the opportunity and time to do it.
You can always be free! But to become one, you need knowledge, confidence in yourself, and your abilities. We have the opportunity to choose – every second – where to go or stand, what to say or keep silent, what to do or lie down and look
at the ceiling. All this is our choice, and it is our life. This is freedom!)) Why go to school, university, or work? – to have knowledge, skills and experience)
As Pushkin said: ..”and experience, the son of difficult mistakes…” Freedom is not inaction, it is a huge responsibility)) And it begins with education, when you understand that you are a person. All the basics of learning life are laid in childhood. This is not permissiveness, but the ability to help, explain, be close, and lend a helping hand. When you know where you're going and why you're going, you're always free!
Yes, being a monk is really not bad and it is a worthy choice. But everyone has their own path. Someone may like to live “in the framework” and this is not at all a torment for him. A person may simply not know another life. In order to understand what is best for you, you need to live, gain experience, because everything is learned in comparison.
Because people are not their own masters. If they learned to control themselves, their consciousness, completely, which is a very difficult task, they would not harm themselves and other people.
Alas, people are almost in the absolute majority puppets, they are controlled, starting at least from what their parents, school, upbringing, their social circle laid down, then-the media, manufacturers of consumer goods, etc., you can continue for a very long time.
As a result, a person enters into internal contradictions, in which he cannot understand himself, and begins to torment himself.
To be free from torment means to learn to understand yourself, your true self, to cut off something alien in your consciousness, to learn to separate the wheat from the chaff. Few people want to do this, it's easier to go with the flow.
Everything is much simpler. No one is unique, the human brain is designed in such a way that millions of biochemical processes must occur in order for it to do something . Therefore, any step forward is already a lot of work on yourself.
Probably it's about your life? In this case, find a job that you will be interested in doing and then you will not have to torment yourself!
What makes you think people are torturing themselves? This is not a straightforward question, since most people are probably happy. At the same time, each person can change everything if they want, go their own way.
Because you need to choose your profession wisely. Do what you love and nothing else. If you force yourself and try to work where you don't like to work, your body will simply deprive you of the energy that you will try to spend on the job you don't like and you will become depressed. The body of living beings is millions of years older than the developed brain, and it can prevent you from doing things that you are not naturally inclined to do. No matter how low-profile your vocation may be, pursue it and it will become prestigious. Roughly speaking, a talented sculptor sculpting statues from manure is more beautiful than a person who tore up his body and health after learning to be an astronaut in an attempt to prove to everyone that he is cool and not like everyone else.
People often do not pay attention to what their life really is. Many of us don't like to think because it doesn't seem necessary. It's also difficult. It is much easier to see your life as a pursuit of all sorts of material goods (apartments, yachts, cars). This is what allows a person to torment himself and spend a long time doing things that make no sense to him. For the sake of a bright future, you have to suffer, you know? Otherwise, you can't beat your classmates, classmates, colleagues, etc. So it turns out that life is often a kind of self-deception, an attempt to convince yourself and others that you are exactly “enjoying every moment”.
Life is a gift from God. Work is also from God. Planet Earth is his doing. He instilled in man the desire to work. Sometimes we can't change jobs or shorten our working hours,but we can change our mindset. Remember! Thanks to it, you provide for yourself and your family and please God. Be hardworking and honest in any job. All this will bring you joy.
feeling down or depressed
You're an adult. And adults can solve their own problems. If you say that you are depressed, it immediately causes condescending irritation in others. You start to give advice, throw up the name of sedatives. Just the word “depression” is filled with some drama. There is a less dramatic synonym — “despondency”. If it is difficult to admit that you have depression, then it is not so shameful to admit despondency in yourself — no one will consider you an inventive person.
what is despondency?
When I am depressed, I feel that everything is futile, nothing will change. I can't find a way in my mind to change the situation. A heavy feeling that does not allow you to live normally. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to get out of bed. You don't want to live the life you're living. I don't want to have the body and character that I have. I don't want to see my relatives, friends and acquaintances. I don't want to communicate with my work colleagues. You don't want to live in the same place you live in. Everything is meaningless, there is nothing to strive for, there is nowhere to grow.
work-related depression
Will my life continue to be so unfree? I'll have to work for my uncle all my life and be content with the handouts he gives me. As a child, I imagined that my life would go according to a different scenario. I didn't realize that every day you would have to go to a job that you hate. On which you feel out of place. There is absolutely no interest in the activities that I perform. And it's killing me.
slow kill
You can kill yourself with alcohol without noticing that you want to kill yourself with it, and not just relax, get cloudy. No, you're just poisoning yourself in the hope that life will end. Or work in a dangerous industry, take risks, behave inattentively, so that you are dragged into the millstones or under the press. In short, you unconsciously want to save yourself from this life.
loser
You are a loser and your life has gone according to a bad scenario. You don't go to the exit because you can't even see it. Everything seems so clear. You think that nothing can be changed. There is no one who can convince you of this. You think that you will not be able to improve your life and this despondency is with you forever.
However, you don't go to be killed immediately after this realization. Although I want to. You have a glimmer of hope for change. If death were really preferable to your dreary life, then you would choose death. And you don't choose death. This means that you are not ready to commit suicide yet. So continue to live on until you are covered so much that you will not be able to resist and go jump off the bridge. And all your problems will be solved, even if you change your mind on the flight. It doesn't matter — everything is exactly as it should be.
full article
Not everything is so bad, that is, school is not only studying, it is a period of life in which many events occur, you can not just take it and call it torment. Also, everyone lives in different conditions, is brought up differently, and studying for someone is happiness, for example. Now it's bad, then it's good, if it's always good, you can lose the pleasure of life. And we can also assume that the whole thing is about religion, where you have to suffer a lot to make it good in paradise, and this is firmly rooted in the minds of people and runs a thin thread through the history of the development of civilizations. There are many reasons why it is bad now, but the result is always the expectation of good things, and the longer you endure bad things, the higher the reward will be (in theory).
For example: a student passed the exams well, but did not apply for the dream profession, because he considers it too responsible
For example: after graduating from high school, a graduate followed in the footsteps of his parents, because they told him: “A doctor is good, you will have a family, you will treat your teeth for free, your children will pass through without waiting lists”
For example, a man under 30 thinks: “why do I need any easier work there at all? I'm already hard at this job right now, but I have it, so why do I need something else there… “
For example, many people think that this is how it should be, that as you get older, there are fewer friends, yes, partially(friends-fellow travelers from school /university), but in the end you just refuse
Torment…torment them…it can be bitter…average…or it can be joyful. And since a person's life is told in stripes, then the torments are not the same, but replace each other. A person will not enter the same river (torment) twice.
Uniquely. Force death by spreading the lie that life is difficult, ungrateful, and full of torment for writing such questions. That it should be urgently interrupted, violence over themselves ceasing to rape themselves . But you will not be an example to anyone? The path of deliverance/death you personally do not specify?