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Try reading the oldest source of wisdom on this topic:
The Tao Te Ching.
There is a verse like this (9) :
How to fill and maintain it –
Isn't it better to quit?!
What is sharpened and sharpened –
It can't stay sharp.
Since the chambers are full of gold and jade,
Can we save them?!
Who is proud of nobility and wealth,
He's getting himself into trouble.
And also-the previous verse 8 and subsequent ones-they are precisely about the meaninglessness of our race for material things.
Tolstoy's “Kreutzer Sonata”, Nabokov's “Horror”, almost all of Pelevin. Perhaps the whole Buddhist theme – Buddhism is all about the meaninglessness of life as such and the need to stop this carousel of suffering (the wheel of samsara) by not suicide (otherwise you will get on the same wheel again, and even in worse conditions, because you have spoiled karma), but special self-development.
I can recommend Dmitry Glukhovsky's “Text”. It was very much “gone” to me that after reading it, I smoked three cigarettes in a row with the thought on the repeat ” fucked up, well, how is it?”.
Plus, the novel is about our time, about our modern Moscow, in modern gray colors.
T. Ligotti's book “Conspiracy against the Human Race: The Design of Horror”is devoted to a good review of this topic. There you will find references to many thinkers and concepts in addition to the thoughts of the author himself – a truly convinced pessimist.�
But I warn you, the author is harsh and digs deep, what is read can leave, as they say, an indelible mark on the worldview. Perhaps after a thoughtful reading, you will overcome some depressive turbidity, and perhaps you will only want to live, love, believe in yourself, people, God, and so on more strongly. It will rock you in general)
You can read it here, for example (the translation is not perfect, but it doesn't seem to be better yet):�
Read the entire text