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No way. There is no delete button in the brain, and experiments systematically show that we do not forget what we once learned (there is fading, but this is not learning, but suppressing behavior). Therefore, the thoughts you don't want to think about are with you forever. If you try not to think about them, you do it more often (because in order not to think about X, you need to think about the rule “Don't think about X”, which contains a reference to disturbing thoughts). So, accept that there is a place in your brain for thoughts that you can't get rid of, and move on. The problem is not the thoughts themselves, but the fact that they do not allow you to do what seems important, so practice doing what you need in the presence of discomfort associated with the presence of unwanted thoughts. Behavior is influenced not by thoughts themselves, but by the unwillingness to tolerate the stress they cause.
Let's start practicing this skill right now. Here's a task for you: think about anything, just don't think about the white monkey… Did it work?… Of course not. This is a well-known example that meditation masters like to give. When you try not to think about something, you focus on what you don't need to think about, strain yourself, and think about it. Therefore, the same meditation masters advise you to switch your attention to something else. Most often, this is breathing. Pay attention to your breathing. Do not concentrate on it, but simply note its presence and follow it in a detached way. This method of switching attention has long been known to psychologists and is used in emergency situations (victims are advised to breathe deeply, drink water, give a blanket, etc.). Constant repetition of the same thought can be a symptom of stress, neurosis, obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, or even a serious mental disorder. In such cases, they also use distraction. OCD patients often put on office rubbers so that they can hit themselves with them when an unwanted thought occurs. They also try to notice the appearance of such a thought, switch to another or the opposite. But in case of any disorder, still do not self-medicate and you should consult a specialist. In mild cases, this is a cognitive behavioral therapist.
No matter how hard I try, it doesn't work. The truth is, the more you try not to think about something, the more you think about it. And even when you manage to distract yourself for a short time, your consciousness does not sleep: you will either dream about it or something from the outside will remind you of it.�
I tried to distract myself with movies, socializing with people, and even leaving my comfort zone to occupy my thoughts with something else. but in the end, I kept coming back to what was bothering me.�
I think that it's basically impossible to stop thinking about something, it's just a matter of how you feel when you think about it. If you care, then thinking about it will bring pain and longing. If you do not care and thoughts about something do not cause negativity or pain, then you can safely transfer these thoughts.�
I mean, the author is clearly stuck in the first case, he doesn't care and therefore suffers from these thoughts. There is little that can help, it is only necessary to give this time and sooner or later the sacred “I don't care” will come and thoughts about it will no longer be so intrusive and painful. Yes, it doesn't come right away, but it does. You need to be able to survive everything that is painful, and not put it in a long box. we are all strong enough people to learn to wait. You don't have to pretend to be a superhero by saying “I don't care” if you don't feel like it. Have the courage to wait and survive the situation and then everything will be fine.
Easy! 🙂
Just push out the thought with something obsessive, for example, with this verse:
Three, two, one … come on!
Three, four-hot!
Oh, you flounder, do not roach,
Keep your eyes open! Keep your eyes open!
And when I said “four”,
Got a black eye…
Three, four… Three, two, one!
And no “white monkey” can break through this mental noise 🙂
Unfortunately, your body and mind will not be able to cope with such a message. �We (people)have there is no experience of non-action and non-existence. There's always something going on in life. And if we don't do something, it only means that we are doing something else. It's the same story with thoughts. And the previous commenter gave a great example with white monkeys.
What can help you?