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Not �to stop �to worry �that �think �about �you �others. �Because �that �is �a little �whether �not �the only �that �holds �in �man �human. �Religion �all �history �human � companies �this �engaged, �raised �fear �sin �and �moral �principles �but �in �society �with �many �atheists �Church �stops �to be �authoritative �institution� and� to keep �people �in �part �somehow �want?
Increased attention and dependence on the opinions of others is a consequence of the fact that you are in an environment where it is customary to constantly gossip about each other. As a rule, this indicates that you have not established a friendly relationship with each other. It would seem that despite the existence of a common reason why you are united in a team, in reality, no one cares about this, and therefore all time is spent only on discussing each other. Accordingly, you need to not stop worrying about other people's opinions at all, but change your social circle to those people who will focus on something more weighty than gossip about each other. It's not you who think too much about the opinions of others, it's just that you are in an environment where there is increased attention to everything that can become a topic for gossip.
This is about the same thing, for example, as going to work for the police and wondering how to stop thinking about catching criminals. Or being a doctor – about treating patients. If you don't want to think about criminals and patients, change your job to one where you think about something else 🙂
It's normal to think about someone else's opinion. But it can be harmful to devote more time and effort to these reflections than is necessary for the correct assessment of yourself and other people's opinions about yourself. If you are worried about someone else's opinion, then you have calculated the approximate consequences of your actions in your mind, and you have imagined someone else's reaction. These possible consequences seem unpleasant, which is why you are worried. Try to rate a person's reaction on a ten-point scale from the least harmful to you to the toughest. How is the person most likely to react? If the person does not react in any way, then this is 1 point. If confused, then 2 points. If he laughs at you to himself, then 3 points. If he is offended, then 4 points. And so on, try to evaluate each reaction for yourself as much as you consider the consequences important for yourself, and how important you consider the people who evaluate you to be. 10 points will be awarded if the person wants to harm you and becomes an enemy forever. These numbers will describe the degree of your excitement. An inadequate opinion of an inadequate person will be on the one hand. But if he has a loaded pistol with him, then it can be a dozen. From 1 to 3-4 points you can relax, these consequences are fixable and insignificant. Give 5 to 10 points to the consequences that will significantly affect your future. These numbers will help you not to waste energy on unimportant events and get ready in time to prepare your mind for important actions.
In many ways, the attitude of other people depends on how you prepare this attitude yourself. If you offer yourself as a friendly person, then the response will probably be appropriate. If you offer yourself as a weak person, then those around you will very quickly begin to take advantage of this weakness. Honesty helps in communication. If you don't try to appear like someone you don't feel like, you won't have to interact with people you're not interested in. When you are honest with others, then those who are interested in you gather around you, and others whose opinion you don't care about are eliminated themselves.
It is also useful to remember that a person is constantly changing in the process of life, so the opinion of others about him can also change very much. Therefore, it is useful to consider your personality not as something stone, unchangeable, but as something flexible, changing, developing. You can, for example, imagine how you will become a well-known, important and respected person in society in a few years, and imagine how other people's attitude towards you will change.
in order for you not to worry about an inadequate reaction to your life, you need firmness, confidence, and conviction in the way of life and the meanings that you have chosen, found for yourself, and accepted. This is achieved by finding a firm position, searching for the Truth, discovering objective Laws that operate in the world, etc. Excitement comes from uncertainty, from ignorance, from doubt. But as soon as you get the light, all darkness will be dispelled. Just like that. You can still go another way – by self-preservation, by closing yourself in the shell of your perception from external factors, but this, in my opinion, is not the best way. The best way, as I have already said, is the way of rising up, the way of flying an eagle over everything mundane. The eagle is not interested in the opinion of jerboa, figuratively speaking.