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First, it is important to understand what self-sufficiency is for you, what are its criteria?
For me, self-sufficiency is:
✔about your confidence in their decisions and actions
✔about self-discipline and self-control
✔about emotional maturity behaviors
✔ about independence in all spheres of life
✔about the ability to rely on yourself and your strength, but not about solitude and isolation from all
✔talking about the ability to recognize and feel their needs
✔about having the necessary tools to meet their needs
✔clear about personal boundaries
For some, perhaps, self-sufficiency is 500,000 earnings per month, and for others-an apartment abroad.
Depending on the criteria of self-sufficiency, books are already selected for your tasks.
I liked the following books:
Dave Evans, Bill Burnett: “Design your Life: Live the way you need it.”
Manuel Smith “Self-Confidence Training”
A series of books by John Townsend and Henry Cloud.
It is not self-sufficiency per se that should be developed, but harmonious coexistence with other people. Sooner or later in the life of every person there is a moment when he needs someone else's participation in his life. That is, there is no absolute self-sufficiency. But extreme dependence on other people is also harmful for everyone. Therefore, in order to find the right place among other people, you should try to ask yourself more often: what kind of other people's participation do you really need, and what kind of participation can you refuse? In order to better understand this, you need to try to soberly assess your strength. To soberly assess your strength, you need to try to take on slightly more complex tasks more often than before, and check what you can do on your own, and what does not work out without someone else's help. It is also useful to observe the changes in your body and mind. A person can become weaker or stronger, stupider or smarter. And because of this, its capabilities may change. There may be a need for someone else's help, or vice versa — there will be a new opportunity to help someone, to do something useful.
First, clearly understand what is included in “self-sufficiency” for you.
And slowly begin to take steps in this direction.
Books are someone's experience and point of view.
How suitable it is for your life, I do not know.
Books won't do for you what you have to do for yourself.
Books, seminars, and trainings are just a source of information that you can either use in your real life or ignore.
The question of how to feel self-sufficient was also answered by authors who published under the pseudonym Kozma Prutkov.
They once said ,” If you want to be happy, be happy!”
In our context, just replace the word “happy” with the word “self-sufficient”
Self-sufficiency is a person's confidence that the qualities, qualities and abilities that he has are quite enough for life and in order to achieve success in it. His ideas about life, about success, and about what a person should be like are his own, not borrowed from someone else.�
My point is that books are not capable of providing self-sufficiency. Although, if the book hero is confident in himself and stands firmly on his feet, then you can take him, if not as a role model, then as a kind of proof of the existence of self-sufficient people.
In any case, it is not self-sufficiency that you need to develop, but certain qualities and abilities and their high degree of development that will help you become self-sufficient.
The main thing is to realize WHAT deprives you of self-sufficiency?
Family and social attitudes, separation of male and female in themselves, parent and child in themselves. Any links to it from the outside – you're NOT self-sufficient
Self-sufficiency is when everything is enough? What are you missing? Then develop it.
Atlas shrugged, for example, will help develop self-esteem, in my opinion, if it is not enough..
In general, what you are looking for is what you are looking for. In the same book-everyone sees their own.
To develop something in yourself, you need to recognize the existing fact. What is this fact in the results? How did this lack of self-sufficiency manifest itself?
And the most important question is-why do I need this result? How does it benefit me?
After all, if it exists , there is a high probability that it is more profitable than the result that does not exist…
In a word, whatever result you want, go there. Choose one or more priority areas of life, set goals, even if they are small at first,and be sure to achieve them.
I think that self-sufficiency is waiting somewhere out there…