All practical psychology is only about one thing: how to influence yourself and other people.
Gnawing on practical psychology, it means�
1) read a lot (oddly enough, first of all, good textbooks on social psychology, – a lot, American, – “ours” are simply secondary and tertiary, and boring to the point of horror)
2) face-to-face and remote study individually with good psychologists, including (but not only) personal psychotherapy-if only because it will allow you to deal with YOUR vulnerabilities in a high-quality way, + necessarily high-quality trainings and dynamic psychotherapy groups (a lot of both. A LOT!)
3) Immediately, from the first chapters and from the first classes – immediately, and constantly apply, do. Otherwise, it will be a complete mess, as with any knowledge that is not applied immediately, In the learning process, to practice.
…However, there is a serious risk that if you really do all this, the neurotic desire to manipulate people will decrease. Sorry, this is a real pitfall.
But with a good dose of healthy paranoia, no! You will take everything into service, and you will apply it. Why not?�
..Then, by the way, psychotherapy is just more superficial – sometimes (!) it is better not to understand yourself very well in order to be successful, even in politics, even in business. I'm serious.
I gave a list, about 9-11 months ago, to the same question, but I can't find my answer in the search engine myself))
ALL practical psychology is about how to influence yourself and other people (and one without the other – will not work).
And-yes – the most powerful influence is that which passes awareness.
Actually, manipulation is understood in two different senses:
1) using a person without taking into account their interests (and I personally don't like this, within the framework of my ethics);
2) influence on a person beyond his awareness. – And this is what we do all the time, and they do it to us all the time-EVERYTHING with EVERYONE, mostly without realizing it at all, so the influences can be unintentionally destructive and just plain stupid, or ineffective. The demand for understanding, recognizing, and being able to do this is huge. This is the same request as the ability to read, write, and count. And it is also beyond morality: it is clear that writing and counting are just tools, it's all about who uses them and why. The same goes for manipulation in this second sense.
Oh, there are many ways. Offhand, I can recall the following:
manipulating feelings of guilt. This is very fond of fishing relatives. Have you ever heard your loved ones say something like “you don't love me at all… now, if you really loved me,then…”. Children are no exception. A great way to get something out of your parents is to let them know that they are not very good parents… at least until they buy a bike… Well, various categories of the poor and destitute also love this method. Don't you feel guilty when you pass an old lady in rags in a nice new suit? This is the calculation. Did you just have lunch? And in Africa, children are starving. And it's all your fault, of course…
manipulation of feelings of fear. This is the domain of advertisers. “Every second your skin ages, only a miracle cream will help you stop this process”, ” how can you eat ordinary vegetables? they're sprayed with pesticides! buy only 'organic'”, ” vote for Stability, or do you want war, revolution or rampant banditry like in the 90s?”. By the way, religion also uses this method, as well as the previous one.
manipulation of self-importance and exclusivity. Flattery is a great way. If you want a person to help you, praise them. Too lazy to make tea? Tell someone in the family that his / her tea is the most delicious. In fact, the tea is ordinary-but the person who is elated by the praise will want to do you a favor to justify the praise. Have you ever done work for your employees or lessons for your children? Well, how not to help people if you are a very cool specialist?…
manipulation of feelings of shame. This is also called “take on weak”. “Can't you do the repairs yourself? What are you, not a man or something? But the neighbors 'husband does everything himself…” – well, after this, how not to fulfill any whim? How not to pick up a spatula and start proving your status as a peasant? Or is it a familiar situation when you wake up with a hangover and don't understand how you could spend so much money at a party? But we proved to everyone that you are not a beggar and can order more expensive champagne. Have you ever bought a car on credit, even though you don't really need it? “Well, what am I a sucker or something, everyone has friends, but I won't have them?…“
In short, the problem lies in the fact that the manipulator puts himself below others and can not always ask/offer something directly, and therefore resorts to indirect methods-manipulation. To stop doing this, you need to align your attitude to yourself, so that your behavior with others will also return to normal.
By manipulation, we mean the ability to achieve your goals through cunning, flexibility, charm, and in some cases through lies and guile. A person's emotions and thinking can be manipulated, and these are your targets. � � //I stole it from google, don't hit it
To manipulate people, you need to learn this first, I advise you to read individual articles or books about it, and then only gain experience.�
But I can give you some general advice:
You need to understand who you will be dealing with. Talk to them, get to know them, and just watch them. Find the vulnerable / problematic / disturbing places of “your” person. This may be, for example, his love for you, a certain dependence on your actions, knowledge of his secrets, which he carefully hides, etc.
Try to find out for sure, so that you can manipulate it later without any problems.�
Try it out. Make the person fall for your tricks and do what you want and when you want. It is impossible to describe every case, but I think you noticed it from the outside, so the example will immediately pop up in your memory.�
Trust is an important component of all manipulations. Try not to do this noticeably, because if a person understands this, then they are unlikely to want to deal with you.
A more or less experienced person in a relationship instantly recognizes pathetic attempts to manipulate them. If he is dear to you-it is better not to try, only spoil the opinion of yourself. A good location should be achieved with your own merits, develop qualities that will attract people, instead of playing a psychological game.
Before you can learn how to manipulate a person, you need to learn how to listen to them, so you can sort of “enter” into trust.You need to find the right approach to him, find out what he is interested in,what he is interested in.It may not work right away, but you need patience.I suggest you read D. Carnegie's book “How to make friends and influence People”
It also said that if you want to attract someone's attention during a dialogue, you need to call the other person by name.People like it when their name is called
The ability to manage relationships with other people is not always manipulation. At one time, Shostrom wrote the book “Anti-Carnegie or the manipulative man”. It is well shown that none of us likes to be perceived only as a useful function, depriving us of recognition as a person.
To learn how to consciously build relationships with individuals, you need to::
1) Know yourself well. Understand your reactions, desires, and needs. Your strengths and be able to show them.
2) Once you know yourself, you can start learning about others. Without knowing yourself, you will get an artificial pile of information about people, because where in this knowledge will be mixed up what belongs to another, with their fears, complexes or passions-is not visible.
3) Learn to formulate the problem and task in each situation of interaction with other people. Then you will be able to hear the other person – his / her problem and task, and voice your own. So that together you can find a solution that is mutually acceptable and profitable. Without manipulation.
There is also a very cool thing – “structureless management”.
The meaning of the technique is that you do not directly affect the object, but artificially create conditions around it that literally force it to adjust its behavior in the direction you need.
An object can be a person, a group of people, or an entire nation.
The media is one of the most obvious tools of structureless management.
Do you want to find the dark side of the force, young Padawan?” Jokes, jokes, but why do you need it? I, for example, have a familiar manipulator. And nothing good is happening in her life. She sits languishing for a long time, but spiritually at a broken trough. But there is such a writer, probably the only one I know from this field, as Dale Carnegie. He has quite interesting works, fill your leisure time, and at the same time find a book on your topic.
How to manipulate people? Many people ask themselves this question, but not everyone knows the answer.
So now I will try to answer:
I want to warn you right away: in order to manipulate people, you need to visualize what you have written, that is, in order to understand how to manipulate people, it will be better if you watch the video on utube-the psychology channel: link�(by the way, a useful channel about human psychology)
Manipulating other people is a great way to get what you need: a promotion or a romantic adventure from your significant other. Regardless of your goal and task, you will need to hone your manipulation skills, try different manipulation techniques, and learn how to manipulate people in different life situations. If you don't want to delay learning this beautiful craft for even a minute, then fasten your seat belts and embark on the following journey into the world of manipulation.
The right view
There is a special look that makes people consider you, recognize you as a strong opponent at the level of the subconscious.
This view can be useful in any controversial situation, when you want to say that you are worth considering and the decisions here are made by you.
You need to look into the eyes, but not at the surface of the eye, but as if through it, looking into the soul. It turns out a piercing look that declares your determined attitude. And people feel it.
Energy pause
To get what they want, people sometimes use the tactless question method when surrounded by other people. In private, you would not hesitate to answer or answer negatively, but in public, you are confused and can agree or answer, so as not to appear greedy, secretive, and so on.
In order not to fall for this bait, you can use the energy pause method. You look the person in the eye as if you're about to respond. It prepares to accept your answer, but you don't respond.
You keep looking at him, but you don't say anything. He looks away in confusion, and then you start talking about something else. After such an event, he will no longer try to force you to answer in public.
Pause and reward
Sometimes people try to demand something based solely on the intensity of their demand. In other words, the person basically understands that his demand is groundless, and you understand this.
Nevertheless, he actively and very emotionally demands something, hoping that you will give in, fearing conflict. If you support his tone or start to object, the conflict will take place.
Instead, pause and kindly encourage the person to continue the conversation. Feeling supported, a person will stop getting hot and start talking more calmly.
But even after that, do not stop the silence, nod and encourage him to talk further. The person will begin to explain, then make excuses, and finally apologize.
Eye Protection
Of course, some techniques are used not only by you and not only consciously. It happens that people unconsciously feel how to act in order to achieve what they want, and they behave like this.
If you notice the other person's gaze, they may use some kind of psychological influence on you, whether consciously or not.
Remember: you don't have to play peek-a-boo with them by accepting the rules of their game. Look him in the eye, smile to let him know that you noticed his gaze and you don't care, and look at other objects.
Overcome dislike
Life often confronts us with unpleasant people, with whom we simply have to communicate and maintain good relationships.
To maintain normal communication or get something from this person, you will have to really overcome your dislike for him. And not just by putting on a fake smile, but by being sympathetic and kind.
How do I do this if you're looking at a scandalous, nasty guy?
Imagine him as a small child. If a child behaves badly, it means that he is angry, unhappy or spoiled. In any case, the environment is to blame for this.
Basically, it's true, so you're not even kidding yourself. When you see this person as a child, you can't be angry with them, and people always feel kindness and empathy, and this disarms them.
Pressure
Many people put pressure on their employees, relatives, and friends to get what they want. How it looks from the outside: repeated repetition of the same requirements-sometimes soft, then hard, then persistent and emotional, then unobtrusive.
The main purpose of pressure is to deprive you of the hope that requests or demands can be avoided.
The person lets you know that you just can't do it any other way, they will stand their ground until the very end.
What can I do about it? Calling a spade a spade helps a lot. For example, you can immediately ask a person: “Are you pushing me?” As a rule, the person is lost after that. Equally important is the ability to say “no” firmly.
Ability to say “no”
You must learn to say “no”, this will be very useful in the fight against all sorts of manipulators, among which may be not only obsessive partners, but also your friends or relatives.
You must learn to say exactly that word — “no.” Not “it won't work”, or “I don't know”, or “we'll see”, but a firm “no”.
Of course, such a categorical refusal is not suitable in all cases, but in some situations it is necessary.
Don't explain your refusal
This is also a great skill that is acquired with experience. If you refused someone, said your firm “no”, be able to do without explanations and even more so without excuses.
At the same time, you can not feel guilty for refusing without explanation. People feel the inner mood, and if you hesitate inside yourself, they will get comments from you and maybe even persuade you.
And again, it is not always necessary to refuse without explanation, but there are cases when it is necessary.
Position without proof
In negotiations, proof of correctness often plays a negative role. Rightness is a state that is transmitted at the level of sensations. You feel that you are right, and other people agree with you.
If you start to prove your position with arguments, it can destroy your confidence in the correctness.
Let's say you make one argument and the other person refutes it. If you then give the second argument, then you agree that the first one was unsuccessful, and this is a loss of your positions and unshakeable faith in your rightness.
Commit a new role
If you are taking on a new role — department head, team captain, or any other-you need to immediately register it, indicating your authority. As soon as possible, do something in the new role that you couldn't do in the previous one.
Give an order, make a decision, ask for an answer from your subordinates, and so on. The longer you wait to take on a new role, the more your rights may be curtailed.
These ways to manage people and not let them manipulate you are only a small part of all the techniques of managerial art that change not only your communication style, but also your worldview itself. And you can buy it by studying with professionals.
Manipulating people is easy. It is difficult to make them not understand this and start to include all sorts of” assertiveness”,” psychological Aikido ” or whatever they have in their defensive arsenal.
I will give you some practical tips that have been tested in practice not a hundred or even two hundred times)) They do not shine with novelty or theoretical approach, but they are good for that. Take it, and do whatever you want with people.
People don't care what you say, almost always. They respond to gestures, facial expressions, and voice. So behave as if you know immutable truths (no matter what nonsense you say). The main thing – not for long! There is no task to convey the meaning, there is a task to let everyone know who is the boss here (even if it is informal).�
Speak less loudly and more slowly than the other person (especially when they are agitated). For some reason, subconsciously, people will consider you more important.
Ask questions. Ask away. Please specify. Especially open-ended questions (“How do you see yourself…….?). The questioner has the initiative, with no options. Everything is done, the main thing is to choose the right question and its intonation. Whoever says the most is on the hook. The one who is silent the most is fishing.
Give people unmotivated pleasantries, favors, and favors. Their brain will start playing giveaway games with you.
Do/say unexpected things. You have a phrase ready in advance for an incoming call from an unknown number: “Hello, I am very glad to see you, it's good that you called right now.” And on the other end of the phone is already a zombie.
Pretend that people are genuinely interesting to you. In fact, this is extremely rare, but people are ready to pay anything for this feeling alone. There are very few people who can recognize the insincerity of interest in their person, and even fewer who want to break their buzz with such research.
Say “no” to suggestions. Just say no, politely and firmly, don't explain. You will be surprised how much generosity awaits you))
The golden rule. The first seven don't work without it, but it's easy without the first seven. Manipulating, you should not feel any need for anything. Desires-please, but not need. You should not care about the situation, the result, or anything at all. In any situation, the initiative belongs to the one who is less dependent on the result. Abstract, devalue the situation – then you will take it over. And you can do whatever you want with people. Get involved-everything, no manipulation, just fucking enthusiasm and sweet leadership.
Obvious statements. That is, those phrases that anyone will automatically agree with. These phrases are used to evoke a “Yes” response without stress. Then you state your wish. And since your partner has already agreed with you several times, it is likely that they will easily agree with the last statement.
For example:
– Periodically, people clean up their room. Remove excess, dust, vacuum… So you can put the toys away in your room.
“Humans are built to need sleep from time to time. All people go to bed at different times. Often children go to bed in the evening. It's already evening. So you can go to bed now.
Assumptions
Your order can be hidden inside a delicious verbal candy. It can easily be hidden behind a completely innocent phrase. This way, you will kill two birds with one stone: prescribe the reaction you need and prevent the objection. Remember, Stirlitz in the movie “Seventeen moments of Spring” had a case when he went to Eisman to find out about the radio. After the conversation, he said:”By the way, my friend, do you have any good sleeping pills – I completely stopped sleeping.” Voice – over: “Stirlitz knew that the last word was remembered in the conversation. And now, if Eisman is asked: “Why did Stirlitz come to you?“ – he will answer: “For sleeping pills.”
For example:
– Before you feel how much you want to agree to my suggestion, you might as well listen to your own thoughts.
– Before going to my place (to you, to the hotel), we can sit in the restaurant and enjoy a Chilean wine.
– Before completing lessons, you can play soccer with your friends.
Contrasts
Anticipating objections and doubts. Where we suggest any objections, we are the first to voice them. And, thus, we knock the ground out from under the opponent's feet. When we identify an objection in our speech, we immediately associate it with the reaction we want to provoke.
For example:
– The more doubtful you are, the sooner we can solve something.
– When you think about what to buy, the decision is already made.
– And the more you doubt the need to put your toys away, the sooner you'll put them away and go to bed.”
Attention-seeking questions and statements
Add positive words to your orders and you're done!
For example:
“Honey, I'm really curious, how long before you realize that your headache is over and you want to make love to me right now?”
– I doubt you'll want to help me clean up today, love.”
Right to choose
As in the previous case, the subject has the illusion that they are understood and supported, and their opinion is respected, leaving them the right to decide what to do in any situation.
Formulate it:
– You can accept my invitation right now, accept my invitation in a week's time, or not accept it at all.
– You can buy me this dress right now, you can buy it tomorrow, or you can't buy it at all.”
Choosing without a choice
You can build your statement in such a way that the interlocutor gives the impression that he has a choice. In fact, you made the choice for him.
For example:
– Are you going to my house now, or when you finish your martini?”
– Will you put your toys away now or after watching cartoons?
Consciousness seems to have a choice. Everyone will be happy and will definitely choose one or the other. But there's really no choice.
I can also recommend Carsten Bredemaer's book “Black Rhetoric”. This is a kind of succinct informative guide to the whole structure of communication and manipulation. This is not my field, of course, not an expert, but I personally found it quite useful and informative. True, the material itself is quite complex and sometimes boring, well, who cares.
I will briefly describe the plan for manipulating a person, and it is impossible to explain specific methods in writing, so it's better to look at the YouTube channel on psychology: link.
1. Active collection of information. The more you know about the person you are going to manipulate, the more likely you are to achieve what you want. Ideally 2.You must find out all the weaknesses of a person (what they are afraid of, what attracts them, what they dream about, etc.).
2. Clearly set a goal for yourself. You need to have a good idea of what you want to get out of a person. After defining your goal, think about ways to manipulate it (see below). Make a plan of action and choose the most successful combination of manipulation methods.
3. Get the person's attention. Use the collected information here in every possible way.
4. Push the person to take the necessary actions, using manipulative methods. You must convince the person that there is only one right way out of the situation.
5. Evaluate the results. If everything works out, then you will be in a winning position.
And for what purpose do you need it? There is a lot of literature, but you don't need to learn it-some people do it without much knowledge. It is better to study psychology, then you will feel the person.
Question: There's a guy at the university who likes me. I actively flirt with him and diligently support the hope of our closeness. As a result, he gives me lab assignments, term papers, repairs my computer, and moves heavy objects at my request. That's all very well, but it's not enough for me. Tell me, please, how can I gain absolute power over this person, suppress his personality and destroy faith in myself? Irina a: The answer is a psychologistIrina, from your letter, I realized that you are a leader by nature, and I also realized that you are quite a bastard. Try to think about all this in the morning, so just turn on the gas and go to bed. The morning of the evening is more complicated.
I suggest you read Dale Carnegie's How to Make Friends and Influence People, published in 1936 and then sold the fastest books in the world. It just has a bunch of useful tips not only on manipulating people, but also describes the main secret of communicating with people, 20 ways to persuade people to their point of view, and much more. Everything is supported by examples from life, after which you delve more into the essence of what you have written.
People should not be manipulated, and you should not be a victim of a manipulator.�
Therefore, it is useful to know how it works. Рекомендую статью�20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You. The article is very popular, it was reprinted in many publications, translated into Russian and it wanders without specifying the source under various names, for example – “20 distractions with which narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths manipulate you and shut you up”
Destructive people teach you to associate your strengths, talents, and happy memories with abuse, frustration, and disrespect. To this end, they casually make derogatory statements about your qualities and properties that they themselves once admired, as well as sabotage your goals, spoil your holidays, vacations and weekends. They can even isolate you from your friends and family and make you financially dependent on them. You, like Pavlov's dogs, are essentially “trained”, developing a fear of doing all the things that once made your life rich.
The best way to influence people is to follow their goals and attitudes, and not try to deceive them. You can try to force them to do something against their will, but it quickly becomes obvious, so it loses its power.
The best alternative to manipulation is leadership and mutually beneficial communication based on sincerity. This means being attentive to people, being willing to meet their needs, and creating eco-friendly relationships.� It's simple!
And in the end, it works no worse than manipulative schemes!- and for obvious reasons, much better. At the CPB, for example, we conduct an experiment on modeling ideology and social dynamics in small groups, and based on our experience, we declare that sincere and open dynamics are highly effective and have a positive effect on communication participants!”it's not just you who benefit from it, but everyone else.
I recently had to answer a similar question on TQ, so I'll just leave this “link here” – for those who are interested in a more detailed answer regarding the unproductivity of manipulative communications!
In fact, everything is as simple as a felt boot. Speak and listen carefully to what they say and say to you. Trust is the first and main aspect that allows you to manipulate your personality. We ask for advice, thereby giving the person the opportunity to influence our decision.
Take the example of the hero of the book “seventeen moments of spring” by Julian Semenov, Otto von Stirlitz (Colonel Isaev). Remember how the security guard Barbara says about the Standartenfuhrer:”thank God that you will be engaged in Standartenfuhrer Stirlitz, and he is famous for his liberalism.”
“You can be confident in a person if you know that he knows what his benefits are” (C). If you can convey the general meaning of their benefits to the person, convince them that you will provoke some reactions in them and motivate them to do the right things. In principle, this is what Dale Carnegie said when explaining how to win friends: “find out what a person wants.” For example, an approach to a woman can be found through friendship with her child. etc.
Every person, if they have at least some semblance of conscience, always feels obligated when they are given a favor, help, or gift. Based on this thesis, Professor Dennis Regan from Karolinska University conducted his experiment.
Two people were invited to the room under the pretext of evaluating the quality of paintings: one was a real test subject, and the second was an assistant test subject. The experiment was conducted in two versions. In the first case, the assistant left the room for five minutes, and then returned with two cans of Coca-Cola: he took one for himself, and handed the second to the subject, thereby rendering him an unsolicited courtesy. In the second case, the assistant returned empty-handed.
After some time, the test subject's accomplice asked the test subject to help him — to buy several lottery tickets. “So, where are the paintings?!” the subject probably asked. But anyway, I bought tickets. Moreover, in the first version of the experiment, in the one with gift Coca-Cola, sales were twice as high.
However, it is worth noting that the principle of providing mutual services can only work in relation to a specific person. But we don't react like that to gifts from major brands. For only painfully conscientious people can be grateful to intangible entities.
Create the illusion that the job is almost done
American psychologist Ran Kivets conducted an experiment with loyalty programs in coffee shops. The essence of such programs is to collect stickers on the card (one sticker for the purchase of one coffee). When there are ten of them, the card can be exchanged for free coffee.
Kivets divided the subjects into two groups. The first group was offered an empty card with a field for 10 stickers. The second group was given cards with a place for 12 stickers, and two of them were already glued.
As you can guess, in the second case, filling out cards, and therefore buying coffee, was much more active. Although in both cases it was necessary to paste 10 stickers each.
Use the herd sense
No matter how unpleasant it may sound, a person tends to reduce their mental activity to a minimum. It is much easier for him to rely on someone else's opinion, and even more so on the opinion of the majority, than to develop his own. This is what John Darley of New York University and Bibb Latane of Columbia University used to conduct their experiment to study the influence of the” other people's opinion effect ” on people's behavior.
Several people were invited to the audience, ostensibly to pass the creative test, with only one subject being tested, and all the others were assistants to Darley and Latane. Right in the middle of testing, smoke was blown into the audience. So, the reaction of a single subject to what was happening completely depended on the behavior of the people around him: if everyone sat with stony faces, as if nothing was happening, then the subject also tried not to show it. If everyone panicked, he would start panicking too.
1) Cialdini R., Martin S., Noah Goldstein N. Psychology of persuasion. 50 proven ways to be convincing-Moscow: “Mann, Ivanov and Ferber”, 2013. – p. 224. – ISBN 978-5-91657-701-3;
2) Cialdini R. Psychology of influence-St. Petersburg: “Peter”, 2012. – p. 304. – ISBN 978-5-459-00755-8;
3) Вай Vainshank S. Законы Laws of influence. How to encourage people to do what you need-М. M.: “Mann, Ivanov and Ferber”,�2013. – p. 272. – ISBN 978-5-91657-930-7;
No way. It is correct not to manipulate people, but to cooperate with them :-)))
An analog of your question is how to lie truthfully so that others believe and follow you?
There are more than 50 manipulative techniques-watch the Vremya program on Channel 1 and various “political debates” – almost everything is used there :-)))
Any manipulation can be resisted. How will you be treated if people notice that you're trying to manipulate them? Will they want to continue communicating with you?
It's easy to manipulate insecure people with low self-esteem. It is almost impossible to manipulate confident people with normal self-esteem. And you can find weak points only with experience, paying attention to what touches or touches a person.
In general, you can read about what manipulation is and where it comes from in the book “Psychology of Manipulation: Phenomena, Mechanisms and Protection”by E. L. Dotsenko. You can get acquainted specifically with the techniques and methods of protection by reading the book by A. Edmuller and T. Wilhelm “Manipulation techniques. Recognition and counteraction”. I just don't know if you'll still have the desire to manipulate others.
To manipulate using speech, you need to understand that there are two options: 1. The person fully trusts you and you, having the skills to introduce them into a trance, calmly introduce them to this state, after which you can do some manipulations (up to a certain example) 2. If a person doesn't know you, then you can say something wildly unusual in an unusual tone, which will make them stick for a few seconds-tens of seconds, during which time you can encourage them to do something that they didn't plan to do.
The most correct option is the so – called “gypsy hypnosis”, when a person is overloaded through the channels of perception – hearing, vision, tactility, you can also capture the sense of smell. That is, a few people are shouting, grabbing body parts, dressed in bright clothes.:)
Nibble on practical psychology.
All practical psychology is only about one thing: how to influence yourself and other people.
Gnawing on practical psychology, it means�
1) read a lot (oddly enough, first of all, good textbooks on social psychology, – a lot, American, – “ours” are simply secondary and tertiary, and boring to the point of horror)
2) face-to-face and remote study individually with good psychologists, including (but not only) personal psychotherapy-if only because it will allow you to deal with YOUR vulnerabilities in a high-quality way, + necessarily high-quality trainings and dynamic psychotherapy groups (a lot of both. A LOT!)
3) Immediately, from the first chapters and from the first classes – immediately, and constantly apply, do. Otherwise, it will be a complete mess, as with any knowledge that is not applied immediately, In the learning process, to practice.
…However, there is a serious risk that if you really do all this, the neurotic desire to manipulate people will decrease. Sorry, this is a real pitfall.
But with a good dose of healthy paranoia, no! You will take everything into service, and you will apply it. Why not?�
..Then, by the way, psychotherapy is just more superficial – sometimes (!) it is better not to understand yourself very well in order to be successful, even in politics, even in business. I'm serious.
I gave a list, about 9-11 months ago, to the same question, but I can't find my answer in the search engine myself))
ALL practical psychology is about how to influence yourself and other people (and one without the other – will not work).
And-yes – the most powerful influence is that which passes awareness.
Actually, manipulation is understood in two different senses:
1) using a person without taking into account their interests (and I personally don't like this, within the framework of my ethics);
2) influence on a person beyond his awareness. – And this is what we do all the time, and they do it to us all the time-EVERYTHING with EVERYONE, mostly without realizing it at all, so the influences can be unintentionally destructive and just plain stupid, or ineffective. The demand for understanding, recognizing, and being able to do this is huge. This is the same request as the ability to read, write, and count. And it is also beyond morality: it is clear that writing and counting are just tools, it's all about who uses them and why. The same goes for manipulation in this second sense.
I think the appropriate answer will be the one given here, although the question was formulated more broadly:�https://yandex.ru/q/question/kakie_knigi_po_psikhologii_vy_by_osobenno_57460124/
Oh, there are many ways. Offhand, I can recall the following:
manipulating feelings of guilt. This is very fond of fishing relatives. Have you ever heard your loved ones say something like “you don't love me at all… now, if you really loved me,then…”. Children are no exception. A great way to get something out of your parents is to let them know that they are not very good parents… at least until they buy a bike… Well, various categories of the poor and destitute also love this method. Don't you feel guilty when you pass an old lady in rags in a nice new suit? This is the calculation. Did you just have lunch? And in Africa, children are starving. And it's all your fault, of course…
manipulation of feelings of fear. This is the domain of advertisers. “Every second your skin ages, only a miracle cream will help you stop this process”, ” how can you eat ordinary vegetables? they're sprayed with pesticides! buy only 'organic'”, ” vote for Stability, or do you want war, revolution or rampant banditry like in the 90s?”. By the way, religion also uses this method, as well as the previous one.
manipulation of self-importance and exclusivity. Flattery is a great way. If you want a person to help you, praise them. Too lazy to make tea? Tell someone in the family that his / her tea is the most delicious. In fact, the tea is ordinary-but the person who is elated by the praise will want to do you a favor to justify the praise. Have you ever done work for your employees or lessons for your children? Well, how not to help people if you are a very cool specialist?…
manipulation of feelings of shame. This is also called “take on weak”. “Can't you do the repairs yourself? What are you, not a man or something? But the neighbors 'husband does everything himself…” – well, after this, how not to fulfill any whim? How not to pick up a spatula and start proving your status as a peasant? Or is it a familiar situation when you wake up with a hangover and don't understand how you could spend so much money at a party? But we proved to everyone that you are not a beggar and can order more expensive champagne. Have you ever bought a car on credit, even though you don't really need it? “Well, what am I a sucker or something, everyone has friends, but I won't have them?…“
In short, the problem lies in the fact that the manipulator puts himself below others and can not always ask/offer something directly, and therefore resorts to indirect methods-manipulation. To stop doing this, you need to align your attitude to yourself, so that your behavior with others will also return to normal.
By manipulation, we mean the ability to achieve your goals through cunning, flexibility, charm, and in some cases through lies and guile. A person's emotions and thinking can be manipulated, and these are your targets. � � //I stole it from google, don't hit it
To manipulate people, you need to learn this first, I advise you to read individual articles or books about it, and then only gain experience.�
But I can give you some general advice:
You need to understand who you will be dealing with. Talk to them, get to know them, and just watch them. Find the vulnerable / problematic / disturbing places of “your” person. This may be, for example, his love for you, a certain dependence on your actions, knowledge of his secrets, which he carefully hides, etc.
Try to find out for sure, so that you can manipulate it later without any problems.�
Try it out. Make the person fall for your tricks and do what you want and when you want. It is impossible to describe every case, but I think you noticed it from the outside, so the example will immediately pop up in your memory.�
Trust is an important component of all manipulations. Try not to do this noticeably, because if a person understands this, then they are unlikely to want to deal with you.
A more or less experienced person in a relationship instantly recognizes pathetic attempts to manipulate them. If he is dear to you-it is better not to try, only spoil the opinion of yourself. A good location should be achieved with your own merits, develop qualities that will attract people, instead of playing a psychological game.
Before you can learn how to manipulate a person, you need to learn how to listen to them, so you can sort of “enter” into trust.You need to find the right approach to him, find out what he is interested in,what he is interested in.It may not work right away, but you need patience.I suggest you read D. Carnegie's book “How to make friends and influence People”
It also said that if you want to attract someone's attention during a dialogue, you need to call the other person by name.People like it when their name is called
And why manipulate people?�
The ability to manage relationships with other people is not always manipulation. At one time, Shostrom wrote the book “Anti-Carnegie or the manipulative man”. It is well shown that none of us likes to be perceived only as a useful function, depriving us of recognition as a person.
To learn how to consciously build relationships with individuals, you need to::
1) Know yourself well. Understand your reactions, desires, and needs. Your strengths and be able to show them.
2) Once you know yourself, you can start learning about others. Without knowing yourself, you will get an artificial pile of information about people, because where in this knowledge will be mixed up what belongs to another, with their fears, complexes or passions-is not visible.
3) Learn to formulate the problem and task in each situation of interaction with other people. Then you will be able to hear the other person – his / her problem and task, and voice your own. So that together you can find a solution that is mutually acceptable and profitable. Without manipulation.
There is also a very cool thing – “structureless management”.
The meaning of the technique is that you do not directly affect the object, but artificially create conditions around it that literally force it to adjust its behavior in the direction you need.
An object can be a person, a group of people, or an entire nation.
The media is one of the most obvious tools of structureless management.
Do you want to find the dark side of the force, young Padawan?” Jokes, jokes, but why do you need it? I, for example, have a familiar manipulator. And nothing good is happening in her life. She sits languishing for a long time, but spiritually at a broken trough. But there is such a writer, probably the only one I know from this field, as Dale Carnegie. He has quite interesting works, fill your leisure time, and at the same time find a book on your topic.
How to manipulate people? Many people ask themselves this question, but not everyone knows the answer.
So now I will try to answer:
I want to warn you right away: in order to manipulate people, you need to visualize what you have written, that is, in order to understand how to manipulate people, it will be better if you watch the video on utube-the psychology channel: link�(by the way, a useful channel about human psychology)
Manipulating other people is a great way to get what you need: a promotion or a romantic adventure from your significant other. Regardless of your goal and task, you will need to hone your manipulation skills, try different manipulation techniques, and learn how to manipulate people in different life situations. If you don't want to delay learning this beautiful craft for even a minute, then fasten your seat belts and embark on the following journey into the world of manipulation.
There is a special look that makes people consider you, recognize you as a strong opponent at the level of the subconscious.
This view can be useful in any controversial situation, when you want to say that you are worth considering and the decisions here are made by you.
You need to look into the eyes, but not at the surface of the eye, but as if through it, looking into the soul. It turns out a piercing look that declares your determined attitude. And people feel it.
To get what they want, people sometimes use the tactless question method when surrounded by other people. In private, you would not hesitate to answer or answer negatively, but in public, you are confused and can agree or answer, so as not to appear greedy, secretive, and so on.
In order not to fall for this bait, you can use the energy pause method. You look the person in the eye as if you're about to respond. It prepares to accept your answer, but you don't respond.
You keep looking at him, but you don't say anything. He looks away in confusion, and then you start talking about something else. After such an event, he will no longer try to force you to answer in public.
Sometimes people try to demand something based solely on the intensity of their demand. In other words, the person basically understands that his demand is groundless, and you understand this.
Nevertheless, he actively and very emotionally demands something, hoping that you will give in, fearing conflict. If you support his tone or start to object, the conflict will take place.
Instead, pause and kindly encourage the person to continue the conversation. Feeling supported, a person will stop getting hot and start talking more calmly.
But even after that, do not stop the silence, nod and encourage him to talk further. The person will begin to explain, then make excuses, and finally apologize.
Of course, some techniques are used not only by you and not only consciously. It happens that people unconsciously feel how to act in order to achieve what they want, and they behave like this.
If you notice the other person's gaze, they may use some kind of psychological influence on you, whether consciously or not.
Remember: you don't have to play peek-a-boo with them by accepting the rules of their game. Look him in the eye, smile to let him know that you noticed his gaze and you don't care, and look at other objects.
Life often confronts us with unpleasant people, with whom we simply have to communicate and maintain good relationships.
To maintain normal communication or get something from this person, you will have to really overcome your dislike for him. And not just by putting on a fake smile, but by being sympathetic and kind.
How do I do this if you're looking at a scandalous, nasty guy?
Imagine him as a small child. If a child behaves badly, it means that he is angry, unhappy or spoiled. In any case, the environment is to blame for this.
Basically, it's true, so you're not even kidding yourself. When you see this person as a child, you can't be angry with them, and people always feel kindness and empathy, and this disarms them.
Many people put pressure on their employees, relatives, and friends to get what they want. How it looks from the outside: repeated repetition of the same requirements-sometimes soft, then hard, then persistent and emotional, then unobtrusive.
The main purpose of pressure is to deprive you of the hope that requests or demands can be avoided.
The person lets you know that you just can't do it any other way, they will stand their ground until the very end.
What can I do about it? Calling a spade a spade helps a lot. For example, you can immediately ask a person: “Are you pushing me?” As a rule, the person is lost after that. Equally important is the ability to say “no” firmly.
You must learn to say “no”, this will be very useful in the fight against all sorts of manipulators, among which may be not only obsessive partners, but also your friends or relatives.
You must learn to say exactly that word — “no.” Not “it won't work”, or “I don't know”, or “we'll see”, but a firm “no”.
Of course, such a categorical refusal is not suitable in all cases, but in some situations it is necessary.
This is also a great skill that is acquired with experience. If you refused someone, said your firm “no”, be able to do without explanations and even more so without excuses.
At the same time, you can not feel guilty for refusing without explanation. People feel the inner mood, and if you hesitate inside yourself, they will get comments from you and maybe even persuade you.
And again, it is not always necessary to refuse without explanation, but there are cases when it is necessary.
In negotiations, proof of correctness often plays a negative role. Rightness is a state that is transmitted at the level of sensations. You feel that you are right, and other people agree with you.
If you start to prove your position with arguments, it can destroy your confidence in the correctness.
Let's say you make one argument and the other person refutes it. If you then give the second argument, then you agree that the first one was unsuccessful, and this is a loss of your positions and unshakeable faith in your rightness.
If you are taking on a new role — department head, team captain, or any other-you need to immediately register it, indicating your authority. As soon as possible, do something in the new role that you couldn't do in the previous one.
Give an order, make a decision, ask for an answer from your subordinates, and so on. The longer you wait to take on a new role, the more your rights may be curtailed.
These ways to manage people and not let them manipulate you are only a small part of all the techniques of managerial art that change not only your communication style, but also your worldview itself. And you can buy it by studying with professionals.
Manipulating people is easy. It is difficult to make them not understand this and start to include all sorts of” assertiveness”,” psychological Aikido ” or whatever they have in their defensive arsenal.
I will give you some practical tips that have been tested in practice not a hundred or even two hundred times)) They do not shine with novelty or theoretical approach, but they are good for that. Take it, and do whatever you want with people.
People don't care what you say, almost always. They respond to gestures, facial expressions, and voice. So behave as if you know immutable truths (no matter what nonsense you say). The main thing – not for long! There is no task to convey the meaning, there is a task to let everyone know who is the boss here (even if it is informal).�
Speak less loudly and more slowly than the other person (especially when they are agitated). For some reason, subconsciously, people will consider you more important.
Ask questions. Ask away. Please specify. Especially open-ended questions (“How do you see yourself…….?). The questioner has the initiative, with no options. Everything is done, the main thing is to choose the right question and its intonation. Whoever says the most is on the hook. The one who is silent the most is fishing.
Give people unmotivated pleasantries, favors, and favors. Their brain will start playing giveaway games with you.
Do/say unexpected things. You have a phrase ready in advance for an incoming call from an unknown number: “Hello, I am very glad to see you, it's good that you called right now.” And on the other end of the phone is already a zombie.
Pretend that people are genuinely interesting to you. In fact, this is extremely rare, but people are ready to pay anything for this feeling alone. There are very few people who can recognize the insincerity of interest in their person, and even fewer who want to break their buzz with such research.
Say “no” to suggestions. Just say no, politely and firmly, don't explain. You will be surprised how much generosity awaits you))
The golden rule. The first seven don't work without it, but it's easy without the first seven. Manipulating, you should not feel any need for anything. Desires-please, but not need. You should not care about the situation, the result, or anything at all. In any situation, the initiative belongs to the one who is less dependent on the result. Abstract, devalue the situation – then you will take it over. And you can do whatever you want with people. Get involved-everything, no manipulation, just fucking enthusiasm and sweet leadership.
Obvious statements. That is, those phrases that anyone will automatically agree with. These phrases are used to evoke a “Yes” response without stress. Then you state your wish. And since your partner has already agreed with you several times, it is likely that they will easily agree with the last statement.
For example:
– Periodically, people clean up their room. Remove excess, dust, vacuum… So you can put the toys away in your room.
“Humans are built to need sleep from time to time. All people go to bed at different times. Often children go to bed in the evening. It's already evening. So you can go to bed now.
Your order can be hidden inside a delicious verbal candy. It can easily be hidden behind a completely innocent phrase. This way, you will kill two birds with one stone: prescribe the reaction you need and prevent the objection. Remember, Stirlitz in the movie “Seventeen moments of Spring” had a case when he went to Eisman to find out about the radio. After the conversation, he said:”By the way, my friend, do you have any good sleeping pills – I completely stopped sleeping.” Voice – over: “Stirlitz knew that the last word was remembered in the conversation. And now, if Eisman is asked: “Why did Stirlitz come to you?“ – he will answer: “For sleeping pills.”
For example:
– Before you feel how much you want to agree to my suggestion, you might as well listen to your own thoughts.
– Before going to my place (to you, to the hotel), we can sit in the restaurant and enjoy a Chilean wine.
– Before completing lessons, you can play soccer with your friends.
Anticipating objections and doubts. Where we suggest any objections, we are the first to voice them. And, thus, we knock the ground out from under the opponent's feet. When we identify an objection in our speech, we immediately associate it with the reaction we want to provoke.
For example:
– The more doubtful you are, the sooner we can solve something.
– When you think about what to buy, the decision is already made.
– And the more you doubt the need to put your toys away, the sooner you'll put them away and go to bed.”
Add positive words to your orders and you're done!
For example:
“Honey, I'm really curious, how long before you realize that your headache is over and you want to make love to me right now?”
– I doubt you'll want to help me clean up today, love.”
As in the previous case, the subject has the illusion that they are understood and supported, and their opinion is respected, leaving them the right to decide what to do in any situation.
Formulate it:
– You can accept my invitation right now, accept my invitation in a week's time, or not accept it at all.
– You can buy me this dress right now, you can buy it tomorrow, or you can't buy it at all.”
You can build your statement in such a way that the interlocutor gives the impression that he has a choice. In fact, you made the choice for him.
For example:
– Are you going to my house now, or when you finish your martini?”
– Will you put your toys away now or after watching cartoons?
Consciousness seems to have a choice. Everyone will be happy and will definitely choose one or the other. But there's really no choice.
I can also recommend Carsten Bredemaer's book “Black Rhetoric”. This is a kind of succinct informative guide to the whole structure of communication and manipulation. This is not my field, of course, not an expert, but I personally found it quite useful and informative. True, the material itself is quite complex and sometimes boring, well, who cares.
I will briefly describe the plan for manipulating a person, and it is impossible to explain specific methods in writing, so it's better to look at the YouTube channel on psychology: link.
1. Active collection of information. The more you know about the person you are going to manipulate, the more likely you are to achieve what you want. Ideally 2.You must find out all the weaknesses of a person (what they are afraid of, what attracts them, what they dream about, etc.).
2. Clearly set a goal for yourself. You need to have a good idea of what you want to get out of a person. After defining your goal, think about ways to manipulate it (see below). Make a plan of action and choose the most successful combination of manipulation methods.
3. Get the person's attention. Use the collected information here in every possible way.
4. Push the person to take the necessary actions, using manipulative methods. You must convince the person that there is only one right way out of the situation.
5. Evaluate the results. If everything works out, then you will be in a winning position.
And for what purpose do you need it? There is a lot of literature, but you don't need to learn it-some people do it without much knowledge. It is better to study psychology, then you will feel the person.
Question: There's a guy at the university who likes me. I actively flirt with him and diligently support the hope of our closeness. As a result, he gives me lab assignments, term papers, repairs my computer, and moves heavy objects at my request. That's all very well, but it's not enough for me. Tell me, please, how can I gain absolute power over this person, suppress his personality and destroy faith in myself? Irina
a: The answer is a psychologistIrina, from your letter, I realized that you are a leader by nature, and I also realized that you are quite a bastard. Try to think about all this in the morning, so just turn on the gas and go to bed. The morning of the evening is more complicated.
I suggest you read Dale Carnegie's How to Make Friends and Influence People, published in 1936 and then sold the fastest books in the world. It just has a bunch of useful tips not only on manipulating people, but also describes the main secret of communicating with people, 20 ways to persuade people to their point of view, and much more. Everything is supported by examples from life, after which you delve more into the essence of what you have written.
People should not be manipulated, and you should not be a victim of a manipulator.�
Therefore, it is useful to know how it works. Рекомендую статью�20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You. The article is very popular, it was reprinted in many publications, translated into Russian and it wanders without specifying the source under various names, for example – “20 distractions with which narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths manipulate you and shut you up”
Gaslighting is perhaps one of the most insidious manipulative tactics out there because it works to distort and erode your sense of reality; it eats away at your ability to trust yourself and inevi…
Here is an excerpt from the translation:
Destructive people teach you to associate your strengths, talents, and happy memories with abuse, frustration, and disrespect. To this end, they casually make derogatory statements about your qualities and properties that they themselves once admired, as well as sabotage your goals, spoil your holidays, vacations and weekends. They can even isolate you from your friends and family and make you financially dependent on them. You, like Pavlov's dogs, are essentially “trained”, developing a fear of doing all the things that once made your life rich.
You need to know their methods!
The author of the article is�Shahida Arabi.
No way – learn to communicate with them, communicate and cooperate and everything will work out for you.
The very desire to manipulate others = low self-esteem)))
You only want to take and take undeservedly – so long will not work)))
The best way to influence people is to follow their goals and attitudes, and not try to deceive them. You can try to force them to do something against their will, but it quickly becomes obvious, so it loses its power.
The best alternative to manipulation is leadership and mutually beneficial communication based on sincerity. This means being attentive to people, being willing to meet their needs, and creating eco-friendly relationships.�
It's simple!
And in the end, it works no worse than manipulative schemes!- and for obvious reasons, much better. At the CPB, for example, we conduct an experiment on modeling ideology and social dynamics in small groups, and based on our experience, we declare that sincere and open dynamics are highly effective and have a positive effect on communication participants!”it's not just you who benefit from it, but everyone else.
I recently had to answer a similar question on TQ, so I'll just leave this “link here” – for those who are interested in a more detailed answer regarding the unproductivity of manipulative communications!
In fact, everything is as simple as a felt boot. Speak and listen carefully to what they say and say to you. Trust is the first and main aspect that allows you to manipulate your personality. We ask for advice, thereby giving the person the opportunity to influence our decision.
Take the example of the hero of the book “seventeen moments of spring” by Julian Semenov, Otto von Stirlitz (Colonel Isaev). Remember how the security guard Barbara says about the Standartenfuhrer:”thank God that you will be engaged in Standartenfuhrer Stirlitz, and he is famous for his liberalism.”
“You can be confident in a person if you know that he knows what his benefits are” (C). If you can convey the general meaning of their benefits to the person, convince them that you will provoke some reactions in them and motivate them to do the right things. In principle, this is what Dale Carnegie said when explaining how to win friends: “find out what a person wants.” For example, an approach to a woman can be found through friendship with her child. etc.
Here are three ways::
Every person, if they have at least some semblance of conscience, always feels obligated when they are given a favor, help, or gift. Based on this thesis, Professor Dennis Regan from Karolinska University conducted his experiment.
Two people were invited to the room under the pretext of evaluating the quality of paintings: one was a real test subject, and the second was an assistant test subject. The experiment was conducted in two versions. In the first case, the assistant left the room for five minutes, and then returned with two cans of Coca-Cola: he took one for himself, and handed the second to the subject, thereby rendering him an unsolicited courtesy. In the second case, the assistant returned empty-handed.
After some time, the test subject's accomplice asked the test subject to help him — to buy several lottery tickets. “So, where are the paintings?!” the subject probably asked. But anyway, I bought tickets. Moreover, in the first version of the experiment, in the one with gift Coca-Cola, sales were twice as high.
However, it is worth noting that the principle of providing mutual services can only work in relation to a specific person. But we don't react like that to gifts from major brands. For only painfully conscientious people can be grateful to intangible entities.
American psychologist Ran Kivets conducted an experiment with loyalty programs in coffee shops. The essence of such programs is to collect stickers on the card (one sticker for the purchase of one coffee). When there are ten of them, the card can be exchanged for free coffee.
Kivets divided the subjects into two groups. The first group was offered an empty card with a field for 10 stickers. The second group was given cards with a place for 12 stickers, and two of them were already glued.
As you can guess, in the second case, filling out cards, and therefore buying coffee, was much more active. Although in both cases it was necessary to paste 10 stickers each.
No matter how unpleasant it may sound, a person tends to reduce their mental activity to a minimum. It is much easier for him to rely on someone else's opinion, and even more so on the opinion of the majority, than to develop his own. This is what John Darley of New York University and Bibb Latane of Columbia University used to conduct their experiment to study the influence of the” other people's opinion effect ” on people's behavior.
Several people were invited to the audience, ostensibly to pass the creative test, with only one subject being tested, and all the others were assistants to Darley and Latane. Right in the middle of testing, smoke was blown into the audience. So, the reaction of a single subject to what was happening completely depended on the behavior of the people around him: if everyone sat with stony faces, as if nothing was happening, then the subject also tried not to show it. If everyone panicked, he would start panicking too.
A couple more here:�
Finally, you'll get people to do what you want them to do, not what their survival instincts tell them to do!
Vooooot…
Read more:
1) Cialdini R., Martin S., Noah Goldstein N. Psychology of persuasion. 50 proven ways to be convincing-Moscow: “Mann, Ivanov and Ferber”, 2013. – p. 224. – ISBN 978-5-91657-701-3;
2) Cialdini R. Psychology of influence-St. Petersburg: “Peter”, 2012. – p. 304. – ISBN 978-5-459-00755-8;
3) Вай Vainshank S. Законы Laws of influence. How to encourage people to do what you need-М. M.: “Mann, Ivanov and Ferber”,�2013. – p. 272. – ISBN 978-5-91657-930-7;
No way. It is correct not to manipulate people, but to cooperate with them :-)))
An analog of your question is how to lie truthfully so that others believe and follow you?
There are more than 50 manipulative techniques-watch the Vremya program on Channel 1 and various “political debates” – almost everything is used there :-)))
What for?
Any manipulation can be resisted. How will you be treated if people notice that you're trying to manipulate them? Will they want to continue communicating with you?
It's easy to manipulate insecure people with low self-esteem. It is almost impossible to manipulate confident people with normal self-esteem. And you can find weak points only with experience, paying attention to what touches or touches a person.
In general, you can read about what manipulation is and where it comes from in the book “Psychology of Manipulation: Phenomena, Mechanisms and Protection”by E. L. Dotsenko. You can get acquainted specifically with the techniques and methods of protection by reading the book by A. Edmuller and T. Wilhelm “Manipulation techniques. Recognition and counteraction”. I just don't know if you'll still have the desire to manipulate others.
To manipulate using speech, you need to understand that there are two options:
1. The person fully trusts you and you, having the skills to introduce them into a trance, calmly introduce them to this state, after which you can do some manipulations (up to a certain example)
2. If a person doesn't know you, then you can say something wildly unusual in an unusual tone, which will make them stick for a few seconds-tens of seconds, during which time you can encourage them to do something that they didn't plan to do.