Categories
- Art (356)
- Other (3,632)
- Philosophy (2,814)
- Psychology (4,018)
- Society (1,010)
Recent Questions
- Why did everyone start to hate the Russians if the U.S. did the same thing in Afghanistan, Iraq?
- What needs to be corrected in the management of Russia first?
- Why did Blaise Pascal become a religious man at the end of his life?
- How do I know if a guy likes you?
- When they say "one generation", how many do they mean?
In order to stop feeling sorry for yourself, you should understand two questions:: 1. What is the reason for my pity? 2. What is my benefit from this pity?
There are a lot of reasons to feel sorry for yourself. At the same time, they can be combined into two large groups. The first group of reasons is associated with sadness about one's own imperfection. The second is with the sadness of the imperfection of this world.
The first group of reasons for self-pity is related to the idea that I am not perfect, not talented, did not achieve anything, not so smart and beautiful, did not meet someone's hopes and expectations, I do not know how to do something and do not cope with something. Oddly enough, it is easier to work with such situations. This is due to the fact that a person still tries to take responsibility for his life, but for some reason gives up. And falls into pity…The leading, background emotion in such people is deep sadness (a painful emotion). And this swamp is being sucked deeper and deeper.
In this case, it is worth doing an analysis. By the way, sadness is a very suitable emotion to analyze. Conduct an audit: what exactly I am not perfect at or whose expectations I do not meet, that is, to identify the main reason for pity. When the reason/reasons are formulated, we move on to the second question: what is my benefit in this state of affairs? Man is an amazing creature, he does nothing without benefits (unfortunately, often not realized). For example, I'm not as talented as my brother, not as smart and quick-witted. I'm truly sorry for myself. The unconscious benefit of feeling sorry for yourself in this regard is the right not to strain yourself in school, not to participate in Olympiads, protecting yourself from possible defeats, not to strive for a prestigious university, to do what you like, for example, to draw. Once I am aware of what is actually happening in my life, I can influence it. I can get the benefits easier and cheaper – I can agree that I don't want to study to be a doctor. and I want to go to design courses, and tell my family this information. That is, to go in a straight line, instead of exhausting manipulations of others, feelings of guilt, artificially underestimating their self-esteem.
The second group of reasons is related to the disagreement that the world is not perfect. The situation is more complicated than the first one, because in it a person shifts responsibility for his life to relatives, friends, the company, and the country as a whole. He's a victim of circumstances. He feels very sorry for himself, and the background leading emotion is irritation, which ALWAYS has an external object. Such a person has many complaints about others: they do not like me, do not appreciate me, did not give me the opportunity, did not create conditions, did not warn or teach me…the list is endless.
In such a situation, it is also worth reviewing your one, unique, inimitable life. And answer the question: WHY? Why would I put the reins of my life in someone else's hands? What's the reason I don't live it the way I want? For example, if I am 30 years old and I feel very sorry for myself: the family was simple, there was not enough money, so there was not enough money for tutors, I had to go to university in a provincial city, I had to live in a hostel, and there is a contingent, you know….That's why I don't make a career (I don't have any English), I don't communicate with successful people – you need to enter their circle with something… Obviously, I shifted the responsibility for my life to my parents (who, by the way, gave EVERYTHING they could and loved as much as they could). The question of why is a question about benefits. In such a situation, the benefits can be a relaxed comfortable existence; lack of effort, tension; avoiding comparing yourself with your peers.
If you are either in the first or second state-this is neither good nor bad, it is not a sentence. This is a fact. And it's NEVER too late to start a new, wonderful life! Ask yourself these simple two questions, look for answers to them for yourself, and I'm sure you will immediately have reasons to be happy! And the more you invest in yourself, the more joy you will have in your life!
Good luck to you!
Pity is as important a feeling as any other. And it can signal to us about dissatisfaction in life or that something unpleasant has happened. And it is important to allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself, ideally to live this experience, sharing with someone who is ready to accept you in this feeling. If you try to block out the experience, sooner or later it will still find a way out.
It is very important to give yourself attention and feel sorry for the small child inside.
Ask him what he grieves about, what he doesn't like? That is, not just to regret, but to realize what this pity is about.
And then go back to the adult part and decide: What should I do next if I don't satisfy you?
What small step can you take right now to start changing the things that don't satisfy you in life?
Remember that you are not helpless. If you write, it means that you are alive, which means that you have already coped with some of the difficulties of life. Remember which ones?
Who supported you?
And who could support you today?
To be happy in a high-quality way, it is important not to forbid yourself other feelings (the body does not know how to feel something, and something does not. Either feels or suppresses feelings, and then they can break out with psychosomatics, apathy, or affects, such as outbursts of anger ).
Also understand what makes you happy? everyone has their own answer to this question.
You can refer to your childhood memories. What did you enjoy, what did you enjoy?
What are you willing to do today, even for free, because it makes you feel good?
If this condition is prolonged, then I advise you to consult a psychologist.
First, you need to find out what the function of feeling sorry for yourself is. Identify the benefits ( what it literally means to you) and costs ( what damage it does to you). Next, start to allocate for yourself in the morning 5 things that can bring pleasure during the day
Hello there.�
You should feel sorry for yourself. But you have to do it right. More precisely, to be able to. Correct self-pity turns into action :жал feel sorry for yourself that something is missing in life, make it so for yourself that it is. If pity does not acquire such a character, then it is necessary to deal with this in psychotherapy.�
To stop feeling sorry for yourself, it's important to learn to relive the pain and the experience that you get. Only this experience will lead you to a new vision of yourself and to a new life. Then you will begin to rejoice.
And even better, come to my program “New quality of life”. This will definitely lead you to a clear understanding and a joyful life!
I have just the opposite – I never feel sorry for myself and specifically learn to do it, so I can't advise you how to stop feeling sorry for yourself. But I can advise you on how to start enjoying life.
I always think (perhaps even too much) that every day may be the last – we never know what will happen tomorrow. And if you look at all the problems from the other side, you will understand that in fact we are very happy people. If you are healthy, if your loved ones are healthy, then everything is fine and you can enjoy any little things. Just look at all the problems from different angles. It is likely that from a different angle, the problem will no longer seem to be a problem.
Each of us has had a difficult time. And we all survived them. However, some people deal with them more easily than others. What is their secret? Here are 11 things to always keep in mind::
1. What is, that is.
A famous saying of the Buddha is: “Your suffering is caused by your resistance to what is.” This means that suffering is possible only when we refuse to accept what is happening. If you can change something, take action. But if change is impossible, then you have two options: accept the situation and let go of the negative, or suffer long, passionately and passionately.
2. A problem becomes a problem only when you call it that.
We often become our own worst enemies. Happiness really depends on the point of view. If you think something is a problem, then your emotions and thoughts will be filled with negativity. Think about what lessons you can learn from the situation, and it will suddenly stop being a problem.
3. If you want to change things, start by changing yourself.
Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. You probably know people whose lives are full of chaos and stress. And isn't this because they themselves are in a completely random order? We like to think that changing circumstances change us. In fact, it works the other way around: we have to change ourselves in order to change our circumstances.
4. There is no concept of “failure” – only an opportunity to learn something.
Just eliminate the word “failure” from your vocabulary. All great people failed again and again before they succeeded. I think Thomas Edison said, ” I didn't fail to invent the light bulb. I just found 99 ways it doesn't work.” Learn something from your so-called failures. Learn how to do it better next time.
5. Appreciate the present moment.
It will never come again. There is something valuable in every moment of your Life, don't let it pass you by. Soon everything will be a memory. Perhaps one day you will miss even those moments that don't seem happy right now.
6. Let go of your desires.
Most people live with a ” connected mind.” This means that they attach great importance to their desires, and if they don't get what they want, their emotions turn negative. Instead, try practicing a “separate mind”: if you want something, you will still be happy, regardless of whether you get what you want or not. Your emotions in this state remain neutral or positive.
7. Understand your fears and be grateful for them.
Fear can be a great teacher. And overcoming fear often gets you closer to victory. We are usually afraid of what we don't know. Learn from the example of those people who are already beyond their fear. After all, they are all the same people as you. To overcome fear, only practice is needed. Fear is just an illusion.
8. Allow yourself to experience joy.
Around each of us there are always a lot of people who do not allow themselves to have fun. They don't even know how to be happy. Some are so addicted to their own problems and inner chaos that they have no idea who they are without it all. So try to allow yourself to be happy. It may be a small moment, but it is important to focus on the joys, not the difficulties.
9. Don't compare yourself to others.
But if you compare it, then only with those who are worse off than you. Unemployed? At least be grateful that you are receiving unemployment benefits. Most of the world's people live in extreme poverty. Don't you look like Angelina Jolie? I think very few people are like her. And you're probably much more attractive than most. Focus on that.
10. You are not a victim!
You are only a victim of your own thoughts, words, and actions. No one is doing anything specifically for you or against you. You create your own experience. Take personal responsibility and realize that you can survive difficulties. You just need to start by changing your thoughts and actions. Give up the victim mentality and become a winner.
11. Everything can and will change.
“All things pass away, and this also will pass away,” was written on King Solomon's ring. When we are stuck in a bad situation, we feel that there is no way out. It seems that nothing will change. But you know what? There will be changes! Nothing lasts forever but death. So give up the habit of thinking that everything will stay that way forever. It won't stay. But you will have to take actions to make a difference. It can't magically change itself.
Any of our behavior is a template. However, the template may not be yours, but your parent's. And each template has its own positive intent.
In all possible situations, there is always one way out: to realize. Recognize the positive intent of this template. Realize where it came from. Just seriously dig into yourself.
Enjoying life is also a pattern that you forcibly introduce into your life. It's like a habit. We woke up in the morning, washed our faces, looked in the mirror, smiled and said: I choose to enjoy life. A kind of affirmation.
At first, it will be difficult and unusual. It can take years to change the template. But it's worth it.
good luck to you.
Sometimes you even need to feel sorry for yourself, you need to live this state, feel it. It's like getting over acute respiratory infections, going to bed, having a warm drink and getting well! So with emotions, give them a way out, cry, feel sorry for yourself, drink warm tea, get some sleep and as in the famous saying “morning is wiser than evening”. Smile more often, say kind words to yourself and others around you, and you will not need to look for a reason to be happy, be a source of joy for yourself and others.
Sometimes you even need to feel sorry for yourself, you need to live this state, feel it. It's like getting over acute respiratory infections, going to bed, having a warm drink and getting well! So with emotions, give them a way out, cry, feel sorry for yourself, drink warm tea, get some sleep and as in the famous saying “morning is wiser than evening”. Smile more often, say kind words to yourself and others around you, and you will not need to look for a reason to be happy, be a source of joy for yourself and others.
First, you should allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself. Behind this need may be a longing for parental warmth and love from childhood. It is important to recognize this need and allow yourself to love yourself.
This realization usually passes through tears and sadness due to the previously lost joy. However, as the Buddhists say: the more you cry, the more you laugh. In this sense, the removed block of sadness reveals joy to a person.
I was told that you don't want to stop feeling sorry for yourself.
And that's great!
Start just enjoying life and feeling sorry for yourself if you feel so comfortable.
Start simple, write down on a piece of paper everything that brings you joy.
Attach the list in a prominent place and try to complete at least one item from this list. And don't forget to encourage and thank yourself for being able to do it.
Have a nice day.”
Self-pity is just as important as any other feeling. There is no point in ignoring it, it is better to let it manifest. Most likely, this feeling came from childhood, from some trauma, maybe it reminds you of it, so you can heal it. Usually this feeling refers to the parents, and expresses his inner child.
Perhaps you treat yourself too strictly and demanding? Maybe you are infringing on yourself in some way? Think about it.
It is some deep or chronic psychological trauma that can prevent a person from enjoying life, so, of course, you need to identify and heal them. And positive thinking skills can help you do that.
Already happily – Rimbaud Room!
Humor, self-mockery – this positive is already in you. Why else do you ask, everything is fine. We got up, got dressed and went – street, embankment, shop.� Everywhere children, women, flowers, cars,� – everywhere positive! Take it.
Labor made the animal Human. And physical labor. Go to the pool. Both physical loads and new acquaintances in life are present in it.
Try to feel sorry for others instead of yourself. It's not as difficult as you might think. To enjoy life, you need to learn it from someone, since you don't know how to do it yourself. The joys of life do not depend much on the financial situation.
You need to distract yourself from this thought with something to do.For example, study, animate, sign up for some kind of circle or find good friends who will support you
Do you like being given gifts? Imagine how happy the other person is when they receive it! Why feel sorry for yourself, what will it do? If you feel bad, do something good to the other person, and see their happy look, and you will feel at ease. Think more often about others, not about yourself, the good still comes back!
It helps me to switch away from my problems when I help others. When you switch to other people's problems, you forget about your own. So love each other! After all, it is written: “More happiness to give than to receive”
have compassion for other people, pay attention to those who are worse off than you, and help them. Enjoy both good and bad things. That's why you can find positive things in the negative. You just need to look at it from a different angle
It is necessary to get answers to questions such as ” what is the meaning of life?.In whose eyes are you valuable?And who has already taken care of your life?”(John 3: 16)God loves the world so much that he gave his only begotten Son,so that everyone who shows his faith will not perish,but will have eternal life.” This hope, to live in paradise on earth forever, gives strength to fight with pity and go forward
The tendency to feel sorry for yourself is often inherent in those people who have a selfish mindset. I agree, with this attitude, it is difficult to enjoy life. What should life be like then, so that it is really worth living and cherishing? It should not be limited only to satisfying your physical needs (food, drink, etc.). Moreover, true satisfaction cannot be obtained if you live only on the principle of “take everything from life”. In fact, such people miss out on much of what is available to a person in life, and their mind and emotional capabilities remain unclaimed. Moreover, a person who cares only about his own selfish desires not only deprives himself of a full life, but also harms society, because he ignores the interests of others. Therefore, in order to stop feeling sorry for yourself, you need to switch to doing good, i.e. doing good to people. After all, the advice that was given in the first century has not lost its meaning: “For your own good, it is better to give than to take.”
Self-realization is very important for a person. Everyone dreams of something, draws pictures of the future in their imagination, waits for recognition, approval, a moment of fame, etc. Until a person begins to realize himself, and does not get what he really wants – there will be no real joy, satisfaction, and self-confidence will not develop. Hence just the majority of all the problems and always dissatisfied people. You just need to dig into yourself, honestly answer the questions: “what do I really want?”, ” who would I like to become?”, ” what brings me real joy?”, etc.
The easiest way to do this is for creative people. They suffer a lot when they don't show themselves in any way. They are constantly missing something. They are easily depressed. They easily lose confidence in themselves. But it is just as easy for them to believe in themselves, to cheer up, to feel the happiest, just by taking and declaring themselves. While they have nothing to show people and nothing to brag about – they feel flawed. As soon as they start to show themselves in something and see the result, they seem to blossom. “I did it! I showed you what I can do! This was seen not only by some unknown people, but also by my classmates, former friends, neighbors, etc. I wiped my nose with it! My work was spread to other sites, I was mentioned here and there, now if my friends search for something about me on the Internet, they will find it and that's great! Let them get mad, because they can't do anything themselves!”
Self-pity is a disgusting feeling. By doing something for others, you can forget about yourself and be happy that you helped someone else.The commandment: “Love your neighbor.like myself.”
How, how… Silently.)
Feeling sorry for yourself is a luxury. If you can afford it and not starve to death, everything is normal for you. Those who are doing badly have no time to feel sorry for themselves. They either fight this life to the blood, or quietly plan suicide. And if there is also a question about “starting to be happy”, then there is something to be happy about, otherwise the question would not have arisen.
So we gag the internal complainer, pull ourselves together, acknowledge the futility of our worries, and live our lives as they are.
All it takes is brain power and a little effort of will.)