2 Answers

    It depends on the severity of the consequences after these actions. If your actions in the past did not cause much harm to anyone, then there is simply no point in tormenting yourself. But in any case, you need to accept that it is normal to make mistakes. No one is perfect, but you need to learn how to learn from your mistakes, and what to do with it next, everyone already decides for themselves.

    Perform the exercise “mistake” I sometimes do it and it seems to help))
    In the case of serious, annoying mistakes, especially those that have led to irreversible and painful consequences, many people begin to suffer from fruitless experiences: “Well, what didn't I think? Why didn't I consider it? How could I… ” and so on. This kind of experience, which turns into self-eating, hinders rather than helps, and it makes sense to switch yourself from these experiences to something more constructive.
    Exercise “Mistake!” – develops the ability to calmly, without internal aggression, treat your random mistakes. For those who are drawn to worry, the “Mistake” exercise serves as a psychotherapy ritual, in which simple text is combined with three simple gestures. At the stage of mastering the ritual, gestures should be real, external gestures, and after the stage of mastering, imaginary, internal gestures are usually used in the practice of using.

    It is very useful to make real gestures, but you may look too stupid in front of others. Therefore, you can make real gestures either next to those who will understand and support you, or make these gestures in your imagination. But start practicing it – with real gestures, just choose a time and place when no one is around.

    ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​So, if you forgot something, missed it and missed it; got it mixed up, didn't notice it and got lost; couldn't stand it, broke down and did who knows what; said something wrong, not to this or not then, or just didn't say what you needed,
    in short, made a mistake, then —

    1. Put your hands to the sides and say to yourself: “Mistake!”. Read more: tilt the head to the side, spread the legs convincingly to the sides (you will get such a kind of Stooge gesture). While in this position, say: “Mistake! “(with the intonation: “Everything happens!”). Do it in a childish way: funny, rather and frivolous, on the exhale and relaxed.

    What is the meaning of this action? The fact is that for an experienced person, any mistake seems to be a boundless catastrophe “Horror-horror-horror”, there is an inadequate exaggeration. To remove this exaggeration, you need to make the same sharp understatement. The Goofball gesture reduces the significance of what is happening. You understand that this is Horror, but not Horror-horror-horror.
    2. Cross your arms over your chest, gently and carefully hug yourself by the shoulders and say to yourself: “I'm good!”.
    This is the meaning, and the specific wording may vary. For example, one of the distantnits supports herself like this: “I came up with it myself, I'll praise myself now: Oh, what a clever girl, clever girl!”. She likes it and it inspires her, so it's the right thing to do!
    One way or another, it is important to move yourself from negative to positive. When a person makes a mistake, he feels “bad”: he starts to scold himself inside, there is discord in his head and soul. And in this state, as a rule, even more stupid and disgusting things come from him. Therefore, it is important to calm yourself down so that your normal sane state returns. To do this, you need to hug yourself, calm down and say: “I'm good!”.

    Such a simple phrase, but it works wonders! Actually, people swear most often when they lose the feeling of “I'm good” — and they protect themselves with swearing. And if you hug your beloved wife and tell her: “What a good girl you are!”, she stops swearing.

    1. You feel good. But this exercise is not over, you have come to the most important stage of it. Therefore, the third gesture: an energetic working palm forward and a short phrase:”Work!”

    This is constructive. We had psychotherapy, turned on the state of “I'm good”, it's time to get involved in the work, correct the consequences of the mistake. When you are engaged in business, then everything right in the soul happens by itself, there is no time for empty experiences. Do I need to remember what happened? There is no single answer. If the error is small and random, it is best to simply put it out of your mind. If the error is very serious and may happen again, make sure that it doesn't happen again. Remember, write it down, write it down in your heart with a red-hot iron – all according to the circumstances and within the framework of common sense. You do not need self-flagellation, and the issue should be reliably resolved for the future.

    Observation: These three steps (Mistake, I'm good, Work!) the full set is needed primarily for women. For men, the last instruction is usually enough:”Work!”

    How to master the”Mistake” exercise
    1. Start by noting all the mistakes that you make during the day, and fix your internal text with which you accompany it.

    For what? First, you just need a number: 1 error per day? 5 mistakes a day? 50? Sometimes you may think that you make mistakes all the time, from morning to night, but in reality, when you start writing, you will have only 7 mistakes. And this is normal, not much at all. Secondly, you develop attention to your own behavior, and this is important. Third, you will be able to understand which situations are more likely to cause you errors. After thinking about it, you can remove some of the errors. Fourth, when you know your internal text, you can easily change it.

    1. Choose the day when you will master the “Mistake” exercise.

    Attention: it should not be the most difficult day, on this day you should be able to distract yourself with this exercise. Wish – let there be more benevolent people around you, who will remind you of the “Mistake” exercise, and will not be surprised if you make these funny gestures with your hands. And it is better to start doing the exercise directly with gestures.

    On the selected day, set yourself the task: wait for your mistakes, so that you can immediately, clearly, make the right gestures and say the right text at the exact moment of the mistake. It is important to perform the exercise at the exact moment of the mistake, and for this, guard your mistakes – wait. How would you like them to happen to you?.. – although, of course, you don't need to make them specifically.

    1. When the “Mistake” exercise is already starting to help you, be sure to tell one of your friends about your success, to whom it can also be useful. Make this gift to a good person! And when you tell it, you will consolidate this exercise for yourself.

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