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Self-love involves accepting yourself as you are. Knowing yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, and accepting yourself with all these traits. Self-love implies high self-esteem and independence. Self-love implies high responsibility for your words and actions and the realization that the result of your life, happiness is 100% dependent on yourself. Self-pity implies a wounded ego, blaming strangers and / or factors for their failures, recognizing their inferiority and lower position. If Love is a high, uplifting, positive feeling, then self-pity is a deeply negative, destructive feeling that results in envy of others, billing, claims to others, bitterness, and sometimes fear and aggression against external influences and people.
There are a great many differences.
Self-love implies that a person spoils himself, takes care of himself, makes gifts for himself, and generally wants to improve the quality of his life.
Pity causes the opposite feelings. Wanting to fall through the ground, a person feels insignificant. He doesn't like himself. Doesn't spoil you. Doesn't enjoy life.