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Do you know what a real friend should be like? It should be the same as in the song “Friendship” – ” a friend in trouble will not leave, will not ask too much-that's what a true loyal friend means.”
I spent a very long time looking for a definition, so to speak, of friendship, trying to pay attention to what kind of friend I am. Unfortunately, my mother instilled from childhood that a good person should have many friends, so she often stepped on her own throat. I can't say that I'm a perfect friend, but for a long time I was a very reliable friend – it was from the heart. Now that I've had my hair done, I firmly believe that there must be boundaries in friendship – a friend must respect your boundaries, not meddle in your life without asking, and the rest, that in principle everyone knows what should be in friendship, is natural. And most importantly, there should be no envy and comparison overwhelming the race. In principle, if a person has these “qualities” and cannot work with them in a positive way, he will not make a good friend. It may sound arrogant, but I prefer to build relationships, find out what doesn't suit me, and figure out if it's not a healthy wave. But many people at this stage can not stand it – or they do not dare to express their opinion to me, or they are offended by me. I can admit my mistakes, have a fight if I don't agree with myself, but then pull myself together and admit that dialogue is important to me, even if it's in a raised voice, of course, if the relationship with this person is important to me. But I noticed that many people prefer to just get offended and write a person down as an enemy, rather than go through a painful process, because the right conflict brings a solution. I used to have a lot of friends, even though I'm an introvert. I know I can be friends. But now I don't get sprayed. People mostly use convenient people. I wish I hadn't come to this through pain. I learned to say “no”, to refuse to communicate with people who like a tank prut on your territory, eat in your house, throw dirt in the soul, and even something dissatisfied. There are a couple of friends left who are very busy with their lives, very tactful, but at the same time we do not meet to kill time, or to put out negatives, to use as a personal psychologist. We talk, support, and reach out only when we really can't help ourselves. I hope I understand friendship correctly. It came through experience.
The concept of a friend changes from person to person – this is the whole essence of human nature. A friend is not a collection of stereotypes about loyalty, mutual assistance, etc. – each person needs their own, unique friend, suitable for their needs and preferences in people. Someone needs an example , and they are looking for a friend to guide them. Someone is in need of emotional support – and they are looking for someone who will help them in difficult times for them. Some people have a lot of energy coming out of them, and they are consciously looking for people to share it with.
This is a classic friendship, which, alas, invariably disappears with time. People in friendship work on the principle of such leeches – they reach out to the people they need and extract from them what they need, but when they are sated, or change under the influence of time, the strongest of ties, the need, between them disappears, and then they will remain no more than old acquaintances if they keep in contact with each other.
Eternal friendship, alas, does not happen – it must be constantly supported by need for proper strength. But do not despair to the end – the strongest and most durable bond between people is formed not by simple need, but by mutual, mutual. It is when two people help each other by sharing their “life forces” in a mutual way that they are able to help each other.
I believe that a friend is someone who you can always rely on and know that they will not let you down. And so that you know where to look for support, even if you're wrong.
Loyal and understanding.A true friend in my opinion should not judge me.This is a very rare quality not to judge people and I was lucky enough to have such a friend, it's just brilliant, sometimes I think I'll tell her that I killed someone for example, and she won't judge me..
The degree of intimacy for me is determined by the desire to share not only good things (news,life situations),but also bad ones.
And a true friend should not leave in the lurch.Even if it's some kind of financial problem, for example, he should be there for you and support you.Something like that.