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Everyone chooses for themselves.
There is a friend who goes through fire and water, and love is deep. I'm like Geralt, ideally I prefer not to choose.
But it didn't work out for me personally with my friends, we parted ways, and not every friendship tends to survive in such conditions, so there are good friends with whom you can take a walk and have a couple of cocktails.
But love is an amazing thing, we have very good relationships with former men, some of them are useful, and we will come to each other's aid if anything happens.
At the moment, for me, my partner, and friend and lover. Love without friendship is often doomed to failure.
Another stupid question (author, sorry!)…
What kind of love is possible without friendship?
What kind of friendship can there be without love?
How can you say that you love a person if you don't respect them as a person, don't share their worldview, and don't feel the desire to help and support them?
This is nonsense, not love. This “love” is called the lust of the thirsty.
How can you be friends with someone without feeling love for that person? Such friendship is sycophancy and the use of a kind attitude towards yourself
The question is very broad, and the correct answer is “What do you mean?”)
But if you try to answer – there is such a successful Three-component theory of love by Robert Sternberg, composed by him in 1986.
Social psychologists are very respectful of this theory in their attempts to deal with love.
Imagine a triangle with angles:
Passion (reckless infatuation is only passion)
Closeness (liking is only closeness)
Obligations (empty love – only fulfillment of obligations)
These are the first three types of love.
Parties joining forces:
intimacy + passion = Romantic love
intimacy + commitment = Friendly love
passion + commitment = meaningless love
And in the center, where the bisectors of all angles converge:
That is, if we are pro-Aaah! “Perfect Sternberg love, what's the choice?” Friendship is already there, and what else.
If we talk not about the man who wrote the theory, but about the harsh realities of real reality, in a long-term marital relationship, the warm fire of friendship is such an important component, it's a big trouble when it's not there.
My wife is really my closest friend, and it's very happy.
Finally, I can imagine that the question could have been caused by a contradiction in the division of the resource of time, effort, and emotional investment between two specific people-a loved One and a Friend (or Girlfriend).
In such a situation, the worst thing is to experience a “conflict of loyalties”, rush in and out, hit the gas and brake at the same time / chaotically; as a result, everything collapses Both there and there.
Then-yes: the solution is to establish a clear, unquestionable hierarchy for yourself, and inform all interested parties about it as YOUR decision. And be prepared for THEIR reactions. It may be different, up to the point of breaking up a relationship with you, but this is already THEIR choice.
For me, in such a situation, a clear choice is a loved one and a relationship with him. But this is MY choice, not the “right” one, there is no right one here. The consequences of YOUR choice are exactly what YOU will face, and it's up to you to decide…
Good luck!))
What is love? I imagine that love is a manifestation of selfishness. Please note that any expression of love begins with the pronoun Ya. I love ice cream. I like to eat delicious food. I want this woman. I …, I…, I….
Therefore, I conclude that love is a promise to acquire, and friendship is a promise to give. So decide what is more important for you in this or that case-to take, or give. Therefore, when we talk about “true love”, we mean the interaction of receiving and giving. (I don't know if I made that clear.)
My answer will be much easier than Eugene's.. But still, I want to share my opinion.
I think that friendship is the most real manifestation of love. After all, “love” is a multi-faceted concept. So friendship is one of its facets. I think this can only be understood by those who have had / still have real friends.
And in the case when You are forced to choose between a loved one and a friend, in my opinion, you should make a choice not in favor of the one who sets you this condition.. Simply because the person forcing you to make such a decision does not consider your feelings and does not respect your choice.. He thinks only of himself. You can still write a lot here, but I think that everything is clear as it is.)