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Jealousy is not a good thing.
If you are jealous, then you are afraid of losing your soulmate, and if you are jealous of someone, then you are subconsciously afraid that your love will go to someone who is better than you. Trust each other.
Man is an egoist by nature. We get jealous when we don't get enough (in our opinion) attention. We get jealous when it's shared with someone else.
All of us, in one way or another, feel a sense of jealousy. Many felt gratuitous jealousy , a pathology that is based on fantasy and speculation, not on facts. And such jealousy is destructive-it easily kills love, trust, and destroys relationships.
Why are we jealous of our loved ones for no reason? Because jealousy is a disease, or at least an inferiority complex.
You can be jealous of your job, your friends, your hobbies, and, of course, your potential rival. When this feeling torments us, makes us suffer, we begin to think, but why are we jealous? After all, there is not always a reason, so why does it bother us?
A. Dumas-son said that ” jealousy is a fear of the superiority of another person.” And hit the nail on the head…
Ignorance of the differences between the masculine and feminine principles, the way they think, and the lack of understanding (differences) of the very essence of the nature of a man and a woman leads to such an ugly phenomenon in relationships as jealousy. And here selfishness plays not the least role.
A woman's jealousy is generated by the thought of possible or theoretically possible sex of her man with another woman.
After all, we are all almost convinced that a man is a lustful male, and if he is not kept in check, he will definitely turn left. In fact, men do not use every opportunity to “sneak out”, especially if he has a beloved woman.
The second reason for female jealousy is the desire to feel unique and unique in the eyes of her man.
Dear women, let's remember that a normal man always looks around and turns his attention to something in two cases: beautiful women and luxury cars. It would not be normal if this did not happen, it would be worth thinking about then. Excessive screwing of nuts breaks the thread-this happens with a man. Scandals for no reason or reason do not lead a man to admiration. Female jealousy, on the contrary, pushes a man into the arms of another woman…
The feeling of jealousy is subject to many, and it does not depend on age and gender. This usually affects people with increased anxiety and emotionality. Thus, the need for love, attention and recognition is demonstrated.
And yet, who is more jealous-a man or a woman? There are still disputes among specialists, but they have not come to a common denominator. It is believed that a woman is more susceptible to this feeling due to her suspiciousness and sensitivity (emotionality). But it is difficult to give an unequivocal affirmative answer to this question.
Just as a man and a woman are different from each other, so are female and male jealousy different. The differences lie in the very concept of emotional and physical infidelity and their meaning for men and women.
Most women are more likely to forgive physical infidelity, but emotional ones are perceived only as betrayal. Perhaps the first option has a direct consequence to the fact of the natural tendency of men to polygamy – ” for a man, infidelity is just a sport.” But hobbies, work, friends are often qualified by a woman as a moral betrayal of her husband, since for a man all this is much more significant than she, a woman.
If you are “visited” by jealousy, then the problem should be looked for not in the object of jealousy, but in the jealous person himself. We usually blame anyone for what happens to us, but not ourselves. So the complaints are born: “Why… don't you pay attention to me, and…? Don't you love me anymore? Did you like it more before? Remember how you….?”.. These are typical manifestations of an inferiority complex.
For men, things are much more complicated. Contrary to the general opinion about male logic, a jealous man does not accept logical arguments and is guided only by emotions. It is men who are jealous of the past, while women easily come to terms with it. A woman is comforted by the fact that a loved one chose her, but a man may be alerted by the same fact. Very often, the weaker sex plays with fire, making attempts to warm up the husband's cooling feelings with jealousy. With all this, the woman is driving herself into a trap. Such efforts are rarely successful, but even if they are, you still have to explain yourself. And then what to present in the form of arguments? Show your cards? That, suffering because of… etc. etc…., she was trying to tease a man? It is unlikely that any representative of the stronger sex will be pleased with such a desire of his wife to manipulate him.
What provokes jealousy? Constant dissatisfaction with needs leads to an increase in tension in the relationship between spouses. In partners, the fear of losing love, significance and influence on the partner settles. And then jealousy “blooms” on fertile ground.
But in jealousy there is neither sublimity nor love. Jealousy is a tangle of negative emotions, such as fear, envy, and resentment. Negativity destroys both the one who is jealous and the one who is a victim of jealousy.
Jealousy is, first of all, fear. Fear of losing what a person supposedly rightfully owns. However, it is often not this emotion (the fear of losing a truly loved one) that controls a person. Jealousy sprouts the fear of losing material things – money, status, comfort, something that has nothing to do with real feelings…
Jealousy is an incredible offense. How could a man not appreciate loyalty and loyalty? After all, the traitor is given the best years. The funny thing is that some masochistic women really like to play the role of an “innocent lamb” all their lives, crying and lamenting, feeling sorry for themselves and blaming their partner for all the deadly sins. I advise such “victims” to first dig into themselves…
Jealousy can be caused by envy. Being jealous of your chosen one, for example, to a work colleague (many believe that all the attention and admiration of a partner should belong only to them and no one else), you show envy for her attractiveness, intelligence, and youth. Although jealousy in this case may be unfounded. And this is not jealousy, but elementary envy. Your low self-esteem drops even further when you mentally compare yourself with your supposed rival – someone turned out to be better than you…
Psychologists agree that jealousy destroys intimate relationships. If sex is accompanied by jealous images and thoughts (“is he also like this with her?”), then sexual intercourse does not bring a sense of unity, security.
The appearance of jealousy is a bell: “Something does not suit me in my relationship with my only one.” The ambiguity of the wording is characteristic of jealousy-a lot of feelings are fueled by doubts and anxiety. Distrust looks for more and more signs of infidelity, and there are more and more reasons for jealousy…
Jealousy can be classified into: groundless jealousy and jealousy about the established fact of infidelity.
In the first case, jealousy, as one psychologist friend put it, is fear multiplied by selfishness, and all this is raised to the degree of consciousness of one's own inferiority. In the second case, it is a banal revenge generated by resentment and a riot of hurt self-esteem.
In both cases, the jealous person is so overwhelmed by emotions that he destroys everything that concerns the relationship with the partner who cheated or suspected of cheating.
Just a small provocation is enough and the mechanism that destroys relationships is put into action. It turns out that jealousy does not protect from the appearance of mistresses, but rather leads to them.
So, jealousy is a force that destroys the relationship between a man and a woman. How to make yourself stop being jealous? Or how to kill your jealousy?
Such questions are asked very often. The answer is paradoxical. Women, in order not to be jealous, need to stop being afraid of losing a loved one. To stop being afraid, you need to stop being afraid of being alone.
One of the wise ones said, ” Jealousy speaks: “I want you to be mine because I can't live without you.” Love says, ” I can live without you, but I love you, and that's why I want to be there for you.” So that's the difference.
The fear of loneliness originates from childhood. We are afraid to be left alone, and we hold on tightly to Mummy's skirt so as not to get lost.
So let's grow up and get rid of complexes. It is really necessary to depend less on the partner, and even more so to try to subdue him. Show more independence. When the fear of loneliness goes away, many character traits change. You gain self-confidence, self-confidence, and self-esteem. Life becomes meaningful, filled with communication, hobbies. There is no time or place for jealousy. After all, your paranoia (jealousy) put blinders on your eyes. Now we can state that the problem is not really in the partner, but in their dependence on a loved one, self-doubt, fears. So, rolling up our sleeves, we remove scandals and scenes of jealousy and begin to build close trusting relationships that take into account the needs and interests of both parties. We learn to love ourselves, develop, and take responsibility for our own lives.
A confident, self-sufficient personality attracts the opposite sex…
I would like to say a few words about male jealousy, but not about the one that destroys, beats, insults, humiliates and kills a woman in a woman.
An infinitesimal amount of jealousy is necessary for a woman, and this is dictated by her feminine nature. A drop of male jealousy gives a woman confidence in herself, that her man has her, and that she still cares about the man. Sometimes a woman compares jealousy with a spicy seasoning for feelings.
If the weaker sex is sure that she needs something spicy, then she will not fail to add the same feelings to the life of her beloved.
The woman becomes jealous “just a little bit”. The man gets up on his hind legs, it annoys him, he does not know what or whom to deny. The effect is not at all what the woman expected. And all this again leads to conflicts, disappointments and resentments.
Jealousy should manifest itself within reasonable limits. People appreciate freedom, they like it when they are slightly jealous, but no more…
Women and men are jealous in different ways. Men are jealous of specific things. And this happens because men do not apply double standards regarding jealousy. Men do not have an inner need to be possessed, so a drop of this pungent spice (jealousy) does not bring him joy in any way. For a man, jealousy is jealousy…
Women, rushing from the spot to the quarry, begin to get jealous from scratch, thus demonstrating their love.
One of the best tips from the series “how to destroy your marriage and kill love” – “Be jealous more often and constantly talk about it to your companion!”.
Jealousy kills love.