There is such a loose concept as “comfort zone”. The caveat is that comfort in the comfort zone can be very unobvious.
And among the key components of the comfort zone are familiar emotional patterns, stable ways of building relationships, and a stable picture of the world.
A qualitative improvement in the life situation puts a person in front of a large number of existential questions. What should I do with my free time? What do I really want? Am I a good person? Why did my ancestors have such a hard life? What else can I change if I've already changed it?
I. Yalom attributed the fear of realizing the fullness of responsibility for one's life to one of the four “ultimate givens” – this means that this experience is as fundamental, universal and comprehensive as a person's relationship with death, loneliness and uncertainty.
And besides, the brain always resists changing the familiar to a more cool one in order to save resources. We are organically ill-equipped to live in an ever-changing world.
The main reason, but not the only one, is laziness. Happiness needs to be achieved, it is often very difficult, it does not come by itself, but dissatisfaction with everything and everyone comes by itself, you do not need to do anything. First of all, people are lazy and afraid to communicate normally, live, not via the Internet, when you see the eyes of the interlocutor, his reaction, interest or lack of interest, when you can not just disconnect if you have heard something unpleasant or do not know what to answer. Everything is easier on the Web, there are all the heroes and experts, but there is no main thing here, there is no real life here, and, by and large, here is a hotbed of loneliness.
Indeed, here is a sick person and instead of being happy about it, he chooses dissatisfaction. Or they beat him with clubs, and he again does not want to be happy, again dissatisfied. Strange people, don't understand life.
Dissatisfaction is easier, but you need to make some effort to be happy. To consider the glass half full, some people have to reconsider their beliefs. It is convenient to want and demand, criticize and devalue. In this way, you can relieve yourself of the burden and shift responsibility for your own well-being to others. To moderate your claims to realistic ones, to take independent steps towards what you want-this requires the will and strength of intention that will not be given for the new year.
The answer, I think, is in the proverb: “You get used to good things quickly.” Getting Happiness in full and even beyond that – and such situations happen in the life of almost every person! – we are happy for a while, and then this state becomes the norm. And we want more so that we can experience Happiness again. But everyone is lucky as he is lucky, and the reward for luck received from life has already been received, and to get more, you need to do something more. To work, so to speak, at a new height, at a new level. No luck without it… But we want it today, we want it now! And there's nothing to get yet. When you don't understand it, you get dissatisfied. And it gets worse when we start thinking that it is “someone” who is hindering us, including those people who can help us get more Happiness than before. We perceive assistants as a hindrance. And so we are drawn into discontent up to our ears, not understanding how to get out of it.
To prevent this from happening, you need to learn and be able to appreciate all the good things that already exist, and be able to enjoy work, work-both physical, intellectual, and spiritual, constant work. And discontent will go away, but Happiness will remain and will only grow…
Because people don't know how to achieve this happiness. Everything that is said about him is nothing more than legends that everyone believes in. There is such a phenomenon as” multiple ignorance ” – a misconception about a social group that is supported by the social group itself. A prime example is the naked king. Everyone thinks that there is happiness, they tell about it and show everyone that they are happy, so as not to seem like a white crow. But one-on-one with themselves believe that it is they who are somehow unlucky, they are the only losers, unlike the rest. As a result, at some point a person breaks down and can no longer make a cheerful face when playing poorly. This is how depression begins.
Most often, people are simply deceived about all this. And here it does not happen so, they say, a person comes to the window, he is offered happiness and misery, and he says – I will choose misery, wrap me two, please ! ) It's all about false expectations, false faith, when a person is waiting for one (waiting for happiness), but not knowing what it is, what it is eaten with, how it is obtained, not knowing the path to this happiness, and believing in illusions and surrogates of happiness in the end gets “side effects”. I will repeat once again that everything here is connected with deception and ignorance of the nature of things in the world, not knowing the essence of phenomena, not being able to distinguish and distinguish evil from good.
the former hell seemed to us like heaven to the devil we hired ourselves as servants because we do not distinguish evil from good and from the abyss of heights.
There is such a loose concept as “comfort zone”. The caveat is that comfort in the comfort zone can be very unobvious.
And among the key components of the comfort zone are familiar emotional patterns, stable ways of building relationships, and a stable picture of the world.
A qualitative improvement in the life situation puts a person in front of a large number of existential questions. What should I do with my free time? What do I really want? Am I a good person? Why did my ancestors have such a hard life? What else can I change if I've already changed it?
I. Yalom attributed the fear of realizing the fullness of responsibility for one's life to one of the four “ultimate givens” – this means that this experience is as fundamental, universal and comprehensive as a person's relationship with death, loneliness and uncertainty.
And besides, the brain always resists changing the familiar to a more cool one in order to save resources. We are organically ill-equipped to live in an ever-changing world.
The main reason, but not the only one, is laziness. Happiness needs to be achieved, it is often very difficult, it does not come by itself, but dissatisfaction with everything and everyone comes by itself, you do not need to do anything. First of all, people are lazy and afraid to communicate normally, live, not via the Internet, when you see the eyes of the interlocutor, his reaction, interest or lack of interest, when you can not just disconnect if you have heard something unpleasant or do not know what to answer. Everything is easier on the Web, there are all the heroes and experts, but there is no main thing here, there is no real life here, and, by and large, here is a hotbed of loneliness.
Indeed, here is a sick person and instead of being happy about it, he chooses dissatisfaction. Or they beat him with clubs, and he again does not want to be happy, again dissatisfied. Strange people, don't understand life.
Dissatisfaction is easier, but you need to make some effort to be happy. To consider the glass half full,
somepeople have to reconsider their beliefs. It is convenient to want and demand, criticize and devalue. In this way, you can relieve yourself of the burden and shift responsibility for your own well-being to others. To moderate your claims to realistic ones, to take independent steps towards what you want-this requires the will and strength of intention that will not be given for the new year.The answer, I think, is in the proverb: “You get used to good things quickly.”
Getting Happiness in full and even beyond that – and such situations happen in the life of almost every person! – we are happy for a while, and then this state becomes the norm. And we want more so that we can experience Happiness again.
But everyone is lucky as he is lucky, and the reward for luck received from life has already been received, and to get more, you need to do something more.
To work, so to speak, at a new height, at a new level. No luck without it…
But we want it today, we want it now! And there's nothing to get yet.
When you don't understand it, you get dissatisfied. And it gets worse when we start thinking that it is “someone” who is hindering us, including those people who can help us get more Happiness than before. We perceive assistants as a hindrance.
And so we are drawn into discontent up to our ears, not understanding how to get out of it.
To prevent this from happening, you need to learn and be able to appreciate all the good things that already exist, and be able to enjoy work, work-both physical, intellectual, and spiritual, constant work. And discontent will go away, but Happiness will remain and will only grow…
Because people don't know how to achieve this happiness. Everything that is said about him is nothing more than legends that everyone believes in. There is such a phenomenon as” multiple ignorance ” – a misconception about a social group that is supported by the social group itself. A prime example is the naked king. Everyone thinks that there is happiness, they tell about it and show everyone that they are happy, so as not to seem like a white crow. But one-on-one with themselves believe that it is they who are somehow unlucky, they are the only losers, unlike the rest. As a result, at some point a person breaks down and can no longer make a cheerful face when playing poorly. This is how depression begins.
Most often, people are simply deceived about all this. And here it does not happen so, they say, a person comes to the window, he is offered happiness and misery, and he says – I will choose misery, wrap me two, please ! )
It's all about false expectations, false faith, when a person is waiting for one (waiting for happiness), but not knowing what it is, what it is eaten with, how it is obtained, not knowing the path to this happiness, and believing in illusions and surrogates of happiness in the end gets “side effects”. I will repeat once again that everything here is connected with deception and ignorance of the nature of things in the world, not knowing the essence of phenomena, not being able to distinguish and distinguish evil from good.