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It seems to me mainly because some of us have relationship models that are easiest to implement through non-reciprocal interest. For example, the desire to avoid intimacy. Or the desire to build a relationship with someone who is not attuned to this person, which was formed as a result of an unsatisfactory relationship with a parent (most often of the same sex as this person). That is, roughly speaking, if your father was cold to you or absent from your life, then it is quite likely that you are interested in winning the love of a man who is not disposed to you, there is a feeling that only such a won love will be real, valuable and satisfying.
A typical teenage problem (which many people can tolerate even into adulthood) is to determine the desired partner by “prestige”, i.e. by some formal criteria: a popular type of appearance, financial status, poetic “image”, etc. In this case, non-reciprocity is also quite likely, since this is not a desired partner, but an object of ambition, and they choose it not for themselves, but for social status.
Usually, when we want a relationship and we don't have internal disagreements about it, we choose people who want a relationship with us, the psyche is very subtle in calculating such things.
Not all.
There are two main reactions to those who treat us badly or do not like us:
1) those who treat others well and love them on a mutual basis. this is a completely harmonious and balanced relationship.
2) those who love those who don't love him. This is a tendency to toxic relationships, some masochistic tendencies. The reasons for this often lie in childhood.
You know, I've been thinking about this for a long time, even though I'm only 17 years old. But age is an ephemeral dimension.
After reading a lot of literature, listening to hundreds of stories, you can deduce two things:
1) What came for free immediately falls in price. This is probably more from Marketing books. A person considers it more important not to lose, but not to have !
2) Follows from the first , when a person does not like you, you try to find out his real price. You are afraid to lose!
I think love is only something that is mutual, the other is anything but it. Why do people stay in a state of unrequited love for so long, because they like to suffer, they like to feel sorry for themselves, they revel in this pain and feel special. for some, unrequited love may help them live, filling them with vital juice. there are other reasons, for example, offended self-esteem.
There are two options:
1) You are just unlucky that the person did not love you. Because whenever you fall in love, there is a chance that even though you are considered a wonderful person, they will not go beyond friendship. You just need to accept this, not force yourself to love yourself.
2) After reading the books of Transurfing by Vadim Zeland, another reason opens up for me, which you might have known even without this book. This is the reason for the importance that you attach to your relationship with this person. The higher the importance (the more important the individual is to you), the greater the chance that you will lose your lover. This is the law of balance. Or meanness.
By the way, you can avoid the importance simply by removing it. That is, to treat a person easier, to love, without demanding anything in return. Although it is difficult to say this to a person in love.�
I may have been mistaken that there are only two options, but I couldn't find more.