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“Whatever shit happens in your life, never mind” Kurt Cobain
You don't have to forgive anyone, but you'll be better off if you forgive others. You just feel better, the main thing is to start treating it correctly.
You chose the”Religion” section
Here's a little bit from the Bible about forgiveness:
Nehemiah 9: 17 – ” But you are a forgiving God, kind and merciful, long-suffering and abounding in mercy, and You have not forsaken them.” And then think, if this is the quality of God, is it good to have it?
Here are some more poems –
Matthew 6: 14-15
14 For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,
15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses.”
Here's another verse about how much we need to forgive people:
Matthew 18: 21
21 Then Peter came to him and said, ” Lord! how often shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? up to seven times? 22 Jesus said to him, ” I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
And if you do not take offense at anyone,then you will not have to forgive. After all, if we analyze what we are offended by, it turns out that our ego is offended, the phantoms of our perception, our, in Buddhist language, “mental pollution”. The Buddha encouraged his disciples to ignore even insults to religion, saying, “If you monks get angry and grieve when others blame me, or blame the Dhamma, or blame the Sangha, you will also be harmed” (DN 1).
The reason for resentment is the injury of our sense of self-esteem, that is, some external action on the part of another person, which humiliates us, makes us feel weak, flawed. In other words, it is an impact by word or deed that causes us more or less moral suffering. But all the causes of suffering are in ourselves. Our misperceptions about the world and ourselves give rise to this suffering. And if we see all the relativity of “insult”, then we will not be offended.
Please note that the easiest way to insult and humiliate with the same words or actions of a person who is weak and stupid, full of false beliefs (“family honor”, pride, etc.). The stronger and smarter a person is, the less attention they will pay to any insults. For example, at one time there was a story that a certain person stabbed another with a knife on a bus after hearing the word “goat”addressed to him. This man allegedly spent quite a long time in prison and for him the word “goat” was a terrible insult to honor, which he could not bear. But this is an extreme example, and imagine how many similar nonsense our heads are stuffed with and we are offended by others because of this, who most often do not even suspect the scale of our psychological suffering.
Another example: if one five-year-old child calls another a fool or a blockhead, this can be a reason for resentment or even for a fight. But if a five-year-old child calls an adult a blockhead, then it will not be smart for the adult to be offended, to put it mildly: depending on the context, the adult will either laugh, or, if it is obvious that this particular child is trying to insult or humiliate him, try to understand what exactly causes the child's aggression and try to prevent such a situation from happening again in the future. But he won't be offended, because he's smarter and stronger.
This does not mean that certain conclusions should not be drawn from various situations. If you were beaten up or money was stolen from you, you need to understand how you got into this situation, why it happened to you and move on. Perhaps you should think about your circle of acquaintances, about the environment in which you are located and change it. But the last thing you should do in this situation is to take offense and take revenge. Most of all, a person who deliberately did something nasty to you should be pitied – he spoiled his kamma and removed the possibility of enlightenment for himself.
Because you don't have to. And it's not possible. When you have been treated unfairly, anger is a healthy and appropriate response, laid down by nature in every person. Forgiveness is an attempt to convince yourself and others that you don't feel the anger that you actually do. This self-deception leads to the suppression of a natural emotion-anger, which does not go away from what you “decided” and told her: you are not there. Anger is pushed out into the unconscious and looks for other, no longer destructive for the outside world, but for yourself, exits. Turns into feelings of guilt, for example.
If crows were forgiving, they would all be eaten by cats. But they do not forgive, and if some koteyko, having poorly learned the lessons of his mother in his youth, foolishly attacks a crow, then, firstly, he will immediately “get nuts” from her aunts and uncles who have flown from all over the neighborhood, and secondly, they will all firmly remember the unlucky twos and will pursue him for the rest (and from this moment on not long) life. In short, crows do not think so at all, and this greatly helps them in the survival of the species in the process of natural selection.