2 Answers

    1. I'm all for doing anything-if you understand why you're doing it.

    2. Unsolicited interference is, yes, very risky for your relationship , and usually not very effective. The normal reaction on the part of a friend to the explanation that he is raising his son incorrectly is at least irritation; in general, aggression.

    3. If you still want to take the risk, then according to my ideas, you have two options.

    a) take care of the guy by becoming an older friend yourself, or help him find a good sports coach (if possible, if supported by parents, if the child himself is interested). Then a “parent figure” appears in the guy's life.

    b) Ask your friend for permission!! to express your opinion about his son. And if he says no, it means no. It is simply pointless: it will go into a blind defense. – If it allows, then – according to the rules of developing feedback: always start with the pros. The guy is smart, that's just how you notice it. Looks like my dad. And about how you notice them as good parents: here, the son is dressed,shod, this and that… And then – very carefully, like a sapper. Not about what is “bad” or “wrong”, but about what can be added or changed. I would carefully ask questions: why is it going so well in the family? Surely there are some reasons, it is unlikely that your friend and wife are fairy-tale cannibal villains. Often, when you ask questions normally, so that without hitting and with curiosity, the person himself, answering, begins to think out loud, and comes to something. And we also end this conversation with a plus sign: for example, what a rare dad he is, how seriously he thinks about his child.

    But this is really a very personal and explosive topic. Or don't touch it, or like a minesweeper. With infinite respect for a friend and his family's lifestyle; – otherwise, he is guaranteed not to perceive it.

    • Well, it happens that, on the contrary, extremely harsh statements, humiliation, can work, but this is rare, random, unpredictable. I wouldn't recommend it.
  1. Watch them for another month. Communicate more often with this family, with the boy. And then think about whether to interfere or not.
    Mistakes made by parents in the upbringing of a child can spoil his whole life: relationships with a loved one, with children, with others may not develop, failures and illnesses may constantly haunt. It is not so easy to find out the true cause of trouble yourself, but it is still possible.

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