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The problem of stalking the past occurs in many people. Most often, this is due to the subconscious rejection of certain situations, whether it is wrong choices made by a person, or unfair situations. In any case, these problems are purely internal in nature.
In part, the phrase “idleness is the devil's forge” can also be cited here, which means that negativity in life is caused by an idle mind, in which bad thoughts are generated and pop up by themselves. So the first way is to start living and do something useful that will not only help you get rid of obsessive thoughts, but also succeed in any field. It can be reading, a hobby, or a sport. In any case, it will be the best alternative to a semi-depressive existence that mixes the fears of the future, the regrets of the past, and the apathy of the present.
A more effective and precise method is the reverse action. That is, in purposefully remembering, reliving, and thinking about a situation that has negatively attached itself to you. When a ship at sea gets caught in a storm, it goes towards the center of the storm and passes through it, since in case of escape, the storm will pursue the ship In the same way, you should survive those situations that cause you negative emotions and let them go. Yes, it will be very difficult and unpleasant, but it is very easy to understand that it is better to find the strength and endure once, rather than constantly running away from obsessive thoughts.
The third option is aimed at getting rid of the general negative and various garbage. This is a method of meditation. It is not difficult to meditate and you only need a couple of square meters of flat surface, a pillow and 5-15 minutes of free time. Vipassana-type meditation is a very simple way to get rid of obsessive thoughts and clear your mind.
Prepare for the fact that this process will be lengthy. The liberation of the mind is indeed a continuous activity, which requires correct recognition, correct thinking, correct speech, correct actions, correct work, correct life, correct alertness, and correct concentration. This is called the eight steps of the path to Truth, and the word “right” is used to mean skillful, or beneficial. Read the list below and think about how you can apply them to your life, as well as those cases from your own experience where they could be useful to you.
Consider the first step of 8 and how you can apply it – “Correct Understanding”. To a large extent, this is learning and understanding the depths of the 4 noble truths of Buddhism, but, in fact, proper understanding depends on realizing that everything is changing. This is because they change without our consent, and we cannot directly depend on them, expect perfection and eternal happiness from them.
Start applying the “Right Mindset” wherever you can. Right thinking inspires benevolent thoughts, understanding, and generosity, while simultaneously rejecting greed, hatred, and beliefs, beliefs, and delusions. Right thinking requires the existence of right understanding, because without understanding, there is no basis for understanding the difference between skillful and unskillful thought connections.
Practice “Correct Speech”. Speech comes from our thoughts, harsh thoughts give rise to harsh speech, but if we give up harsh thoughts, we don't make harsh speeches, because there are no mental intentions. On the other hand, a person with a positive mental state can make a more skilful and positive speech in a discussion.
Analyze the third step – “Correct actions”. It, in a sense, also follows from correct thinking, because if we have evil thoughts, then our actions will be the same. Correct actions and speech should be aimed at harmlessness and getting rid of stress.
Carefully consider ” Proper Labor.” Proper work is the application of effort to understand and execute what is not easy to do. To a large extent, it is a centered focus, not excessive effort to force the mind, nor violent actions that will destroy its aspects (fruitless effort), nor its opposite – lack of effort. This is a middle effort with no intent to cause harm.
Study the “Right Life” and compare it with your own experience and profession. Living the right life means avoiding work where you need to be cruel and harsh towards people and other living and non-living things, and any other work that calls into question virtue, mental abilities and wisdom. This is not always possible, and it is a great happiness to have a job where there is no harm, and to have a choice in the development of your career.
Also carefully study ” Right Mindfulness.” Mindfulness is the awareness of daily activities and what is happening in the biological body, its sensations, consciousness, mental feelings, how and when they arise. Mindfulness is an ongoing activity that involves taking mental notes or simply being aware and observant. Ideally, it includes the right actions and the right understanding, so that when you see something, you know what to do with it and will do it. Just a simple remark and observation will not remove the problem.
“Proper concentration ” develops the mind to maintain alertness and attention. It can be achieved during meditation and daily activities. Without concentration, there is no work and vigilance. It develops with time and the right understanding, but also with the right effort, without which concentration and alertness are useless.
Take note of this group and learn how each part relates to the other and how to use them for your own benefit. Many of them seem logical and reasonable, but as always, you won't know until you try it. It is important to remember that by and large, we always see correct understanding as the main component that everyone else depends on, because without understanding, everyone else is not so effective.
Start incorporating this into your daily experience and see how they start working for you. The biggest benefit is when you start comparing your past and present experiences, experimenting to see the differences compared to the past. This will not only increase the speed at which they will start working, but it will also make them easier as you understand their benefits.
“Unnecessary” thoughts and memories are different… Some need to be passed through your consciousness, because they are connected with your purpose, refusing which you will turn on the mechanism of retribution…
Thoughts and memories that cause anxiety, which turns into destructive phobias, are overcome in different ways:
But these are not the most effective ways. Given here, take: Managing your fear. Fear that turns into terror, and fear as a tool for strengthening the spirit.
You can clear it, but only temporarily. For example, during meditation. You can learn, again with the help of meditation, to control your consciousness and then you can not only get rid of unwanted thoughts and memories when they come, but even manage this process. This is a common practice, the practice of knowing your own “I”. Meditation allows you to comprehend as deeply as your will is sufficient for this (namely, will, and not intelligence or intelligence).
Read about the BSFF technique (written by Larry Nimson) – very easy to use and quite working. Moreover, the principle of its operation is good because it does not remove unnecessary memories/thoughts, but only removes negative emotions associated with them.
That is, you will be able to calmly discuss events/facts that previously seemed sad/unpleasant/tragic to you without the previous negativity.
Write out all your memories in a special diary. In general, it is better to clear your head of all memories. Therefore, you need to start writing out, starting from today, then yesterday, the day before yesterday, and so gradually release yourself. Castaneda has written about it.
In general, writing all your memories in a diary really helps. Only it is better to write with a pen, not to type.
Our mind is not a container for our experiences. We can't just empty it and live a different life right away.
But why do we get better with time? Emotions lose their importance and significance after a certain time, are de-actualized, and the bridge “unnecessary thought-unpleasant feeling” is cut off. This is based on the gradual switching of our attention, as well as the protective functions of our psyche in relation to information: deactualization, devaluation, forgetting.
I will try to get a bonus for the most bonal answer.
Find an activity that seems important and immerse yourself in it.�
In my example, it was physics. In addition to the attraction of suffering, I gained some knowledge, a few friends, and an untold number of questions about everything.
It's easier to give yourself to work, it helps, but it won't develop you.
I simply write down everything that bothers me on a piece of paper, and my brain perceives the recording as something that it is no longer necessary to constantly scroll through, so as not to forget. And the memories stop being so sharp and painful, I throw out the leaf by itself.
Work.Very hard work. Occupy every minute of your free time with work. And then all your bad thoughts will go away. And negative memories will be forgotten, that's actually the whole secret:)
Nothing you can do will help you, because all this will come from all that impurity of consciousness, that is, from the mind, which is what every person is. A person is not a body, the body is just a form of nature that cleanses itself, if you(the person) do not insist on its contamination.
We are not born as a body, but in a body in the form of a form-thought- “I am”, as an awareness of this very fact, which is impossible to argue with, because otherwise this awareness would not exist either. However, very soon we have to lose this innocence, which is called metaphorical contamination of the mind, in other words, our expulsion from Paradise or the fall from grace.
We lose the ability, without realizing ourselves in it, to be aware of what is happening in witnessing ourselves and the world, without being conditioned with what is being witnessed. Through language, we get what we don't actually know. It is this knowledge that is the knowledge of the mind, its content, with which we are forced to identify ourselves, becoming polluted, because direct and immediate, that is, existential awareness in a person does not work, there is no proper power of the spirit for this. Hence the lies and delusions that govern every human being.
The answer that first comes to mind is no way. If you think about the wording of this question, it is easy to imagine the mind as a bag in which things are put or taken out. Or as a hard disk to which content is written or overwritten. But in reality, this is not entirely true. Thinking is constantly busy with various tasks. It is a fluid process, only part of which is realized. Only what a person is focused on, what he is thinking about at the moment, has special qualities of brightness and liveliness, due to the mental function of attention. Attention has a number of properties, including switchability. To stop thinking about something, you need to switch your attention to other relevant content of consciousness. Trying not to think about something still keeps you on that thought. If you don't want to think about the difficult conversation ahead, think about other conversations that have taken place in the past. Remember the successful conversations that have borne fruit. What arguments did you use? How did the other person react?
To make the most effective use of attention switching, it is important to know that attention can vary. And the switching methods, respectively, can be used in different ways.
The simplest form of attention that dominates young children is involuntary. So it is called, because the person does not choose what to direct attention to, and is often captured by the object. A loud, sudden sound outside the window – and then we were already switched to what was happening there. Involuntary attention is drawn to intense stimuli, new stimuli, or stimuli related to our actual needs. To manage involuntary attention, you need to organize your environment accordingly. It should contain either intense and vivid stimuli, or interesting and new ones, or both. It can be a disco, a trip to the cinema, a board or computer game, your favorite activity, or something related to deferred desires.
If intense, exciting stimuli are not available to you at the moment, you can try a change of scenery. If you are indoors, go outside, preferably to the park. Try to notice as many details around you as possible. At the same time, it is good to pay attention to what you are not used to. If you study nature more often during walks, try to remember the people you meet. If, usually, you pay more attention to people, explore the surrounding space, road surface, vegetation, sky, and architectural features. Try to remember as many details as possible, as if you are going to write a story about your walk.
If you can't take a walk, your body is a reliable source of new and unusual sensations. Close your eyes and examine the entire body sequentially with your inner eye. Focus on the vivid sensations, giving yourself time to get a good feel for them. Although here I already use techniques to stimulate voluntary attention.
Voluntary attention is directed wherever the person sees fit to direct it. Switching and holding voluntary attention takes effort. The ability to apply volitional effort has to be trained. Voluntary attention develops in a person as they grow older and integrate into society. This is the form of attention that I suggested that you address when asking questions about other conversations. There are many ways to train voluntary attention and its switching. For example, ball games, especially team games. Since childhood, many people have known the fun “Don't say yes or no, don't take black and white”. It allows you to train switching ability, distribution and concentration of attention. Some time ago, a wonderful board game “Preved, Medved” appeared, which not only develops attention, but can set a cheerful tone for a friendly party. Recent studies also claim that meditation contributes to the development of voluntary attention and its switchability (Brefczynski-Lewis JA, Lutz A, Schaefer HS, Levinson DB, Davidson RJ. Neural correlates of attention expertise in long-term meditation practitioners. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 2007;104:11483–11488).
There are a large number of meditation guides available in Russian. I like the approach implemented on the Real Mindfulness website realmindfulness.ru
The consequence of the efforts made to implement arbitrary attention is its depletion. This is partly the basis of the paradoxical intention method. If you can't get your mind off the upcoming conversation, focus on it as thoroughly as possible. Remember all your interlocutors. What do they look like, what color are their hair and eyes, what is their voice, how do they smell? What do you know about their personality traits? If you have a conversation plan with the expected responses of your opponents, give yourself the task of replaying the development of events in your head 50 times in a row, without being distracted by anything.
When a thought occupies us for too long and returns our attention, it means that it serves some important need or purpose and is therefore included in the person's personality. This is how post-spontaneous attention works. It allows composers to spend hours working on their work without being distracted by anything. This form of attention develops when a once arbitrary action becomes personally significant and takes on additional meaning. Even this attention can be switched. To do this, you will have to assume that the thought you are thinking is not useless. And find the most honest answer to what this thought is for you? Why do you need it? And focus on other ways to achieve this goal. The answer is not always obvious. Often, annoying thoughts allow us to avoid solving problems that we are not sure of the outcome of. Then it is important to answer the question: why do I consider these thoughts “unnecessary”? What do I need to think about now? What for? And why shouldn't I really go to them?
Finding the answer can be difficult on your own. A psychologist will help you figure out the cause when following your thoughts. Analytical psychologists, gestalt therapists, and client-centered psychologists work particularly well in this area. A cognitive behavioral psychologist or psychotherapist can help you find the most effective way to switch your attention and turn it into a habit.
Sometimes obsessive thoughts, such as those that do not seem to fit into the general course of thoughts, arise at illogical moments, and also cause a person to suffer from the inability to stop them, can be a symptom of mental illness. Therefore, it will be useful to consult a psychiatrist or psychotherapist.
I'm praying. You need to get rid of negative thoughts. Prayers are a wonderful remedy. But not long prayers. Memories do not need to be accompanied with negative emotions.They, i.e., these emotions, are attached to these memories when remembering.Everything is fixed in the brain.The brain is like a computer,and whatever you record, it reproduces.My friends who say mantras all day long, who listen to relaxing music, especially before going to bed,who pray all day long. I choose such friends and there are no problems.I stay away from negative people, although I help with advice when necessary. When you are surrounded by beautiful people ,life is easy. Thank God, I'm happy with my life. You have to fill yourself with love for God, and then life treats you well.
There is such a technique of substitution.Do you know how to effectively get rid of the song “parasite” that sticks and does not go out of your head? It is necessary to add after each line some word taken from the ceiling and try to sing it several times.This is how you can deal with some thoughts, but each case must be dealt with separately, since in psychotherapy there is no one technique and technique for all problems.
Escape attempts predict an eternal return. Therefore, the only way out is a deep, painful introspection, which, ultimately, will help to revive the personality and, possibly, make it stronger and wiser. But, again, everything is quite individual, so each case should be considered separately and look for the right ways and methods to solve the problem.
This is impossible-they can only be replaced by new positive impressions, and then past failures and resentments will lose their emotional coloring, and the reasons for their occurrence can be soberly evaluated and a lesson learned.
This is not such a difficult task. Easier than it sounds.�
And there are more than one methods.
But it's still not easy, and it can't be solved in 5 minutes.
Or rather, ” clear your mind…”you can do it in 5 minutes, but you will have to do all the preparatory exercises for about a year.
Options: you can go to Tmschikam, to some thread sensible yoga group to enroll, neponaroshechny chi-gong helps, well, etc. There are also purely psychological techniques, without a touch of esotericism; if nothing is confused, then Assagioli was engaged in a suitable approach, although here I can be wrong.
I'm sorry in advance, but your question can easily be interpreted as: “How do I cut off a part of myself that I don't like?”
Absolutely all people have different unpleasant feelings that are closely related to the past. Unfortunately (or fortunately), there is no way to change the past. And if you could, would you really? Because of the past, especially in some places unpleasant, you have become what you are now. You think and perceive yourself and others now in this way, and not otherwise, only because such your thinking and perception grew out of the past.
About clearing the mind. Everett Shostrom (uncle-psychotherapist) wrote that for the vast majority of people, the left hand makes everything much worse than the right. And if you look from certain angles, then this hand in a good way could just be chopped off. But no one, of course, does this, for one simple reason-the hand is an integral part of you. Whatever it is, it is a part of you, and there is no other such part, better or worse, to be seen. But, writes Shostrom, if the attitude is quite unambiguous regarding the external limbs, and no one wants to cut off anything, then for some reason people are not particularly shy about cutting off everything right and left in relation to our inner world.
So, cutting off unnecessary thoughts and memories is not worth it. They should not be cut off, but taken. Try to accept that my parents didn't hit me over the head because they were bad, but because they'd been through a lot of trouble themselves. That the struggle with thoughts about a former romantic life partner, with whom I broke up, is not a struggle with thoughts and not with the companion itself, but a struggle with a part of myself that was born thanks to this companion. Etc.
In words, all this, of course, looks much easier than in reality. People sometimes do not cope with these thoughts and experiences, and form vicious circles. This is when, because of thoughts, it is impossible to carry out any important activity in life, and the failure to carry out this activity in turn again leads to disturbing “unnecessary” thoughts. And so one thing leads to another, and then a new one. This vicious circle is called neurosis.
You should try to treat yourself (and others) not as a robot, from which you can disconnect an extra part, but as a living, complex and integral being. With this attitude, life will become more complete and lively.