2 Answers

  1. I think many people have heard about such a hackneyed phrase with the meaning that if you want to be loved, first love yourself. (I don't remember the exact words, but I sort of passed on the meaning).�
    By the same principle, I believe, you can learn to be an empath. If you are aware of your own feelings, your own shortcomings, virtues, pain and suffering, love and so on, (here it should be added that you are not just aware of them, but accept them, and not as something unique, but as a human being,) then you can understand the other person. You just need to want to understand it more often. We are as much the same as we are different.�

    I myself went through the days of my adolescence, when I was inexperienced in many things and therefore very bullying and critical of both other people and myself. As I grew older, I gained some experience in many things and learned to look at people differently.

  2. Read books. No, seriously: this is the best way to get into the head of another person – the author or hero, really dive into his or her thoughts, understand the motivations.

    For me, the novel “Benevolent Women” turned out to be very powerful in this regard, which plunges the reader very thoroughly and plausibly into the head of an SS officer during World War II.

    But in general, any good psychological novel with a central character is suitable for these purposes, especially if the narrative is conducted in the first person. At least a “Hero of our time”, at least something modern.

    And then you should not just read, but think about how this person is different from you, transfer these thoughts to real-life examples, try to imagine how someone from those whom you can not understand and “feel” in life would express their position.

    To be honest, I believe that there is a different empathy – attentiveness to others, which allows you to better understand what they do not say, but “express”. It allows you to notice changes in people's relationships with each other and with you, anticipate their emotions and reactions, and sometimes even begin to experience the same feelings as they do, without having the same reasons. Some people have this ability innately, some say they learn it (perhaps someone else can tell you exactly how).

    I'm talking more about “rational empathy” – the ability to understand other people's motivations, not to feel the same, but to be aware of the difference in their emotional perception of something, the ability to recognize that some things in other people are impossible to understand, but you can not impose your own view and feeling on them. All this is also very difficult, but it is also very useful in life, and books really help with this.

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