11 Answers

  1. There are already many good answers to this question. I would like to add that the goal should be formulated positively: how to gain self-confidence, then our brain will give energy to move towards the goal and the result will be noticeable.

    But if you fight with yourself, do not accept some parts of your personality, then this will take a lot of energy, but you are unlikely to become more confident from this. Rather, on the contrary.

    Allow yourself to be imperfect, sometimes funny, lively and real. Try to think less about what other people will think of you. After all, what really matters is what you and your loved ones think about you. For other people, we can be good or bad, different. It is impossible to be good and loved by everyone.

  2. To overcome self-doubt, you need to:

    * Praise yourself for every victory. Even if it is small. Surely you constantly criticize yourself, adding fuel to the fire, and see only failures. Self-criticism is good, but not in such dosages.

    * Think for yourself. Don't be afraid to make decisions without asking for advice. Make a mistake a couple of times and get invaluable experience that will seriously help in the future.

    * Work on your appearance. Something you don't like about yourself? Try changing this. Make sure that you are happy with your own reflection in the mirror.

    * Create a mascot for yourself. Let it be a trinket that is convenient to carry with you at all times. Put your energy into it – it will give you strength and confidence.

    * Always go to the end. Don't give up on your goals. Don't give up your ideas halfway through. The result is sure to please you.

    * Get your own dreams out of the bins of your soul. Start implementing them as quickly as possible. Even if the whole world is against it, listen only to your feelings.

    * Don't try to meet someone else's expectations. You can't be a convenient person for everyone.

    The main thing is to believe in your own strength. Any idea has every chance of success. And half of that success lies in your faith in him.

  3. Step over not being confident.

    YES. You can search for limiting beliefs and change them.

    YES, you can pull out specific roles, remember when they were created, how, and so on, and change this.

    YES, you can search for sensations in the body and change them.

    But ultimately, you just need to take a Step!

    And this is just a radical change in the worldview.

    What do you have to lose besides your complexes and the failures that result from them,

    well, at the very least, you'll break off again, so what, what difference does it make?

    The road is made by the Person walking.

    The dead cannot die.

  4. There is no easy way to get rid of uncertainty. You will have to step over yourself, but the reward in the form of new opportunities, business and friendships is worth it.

    I wouldn't say that gaining confidence means leaving your comfort zone. This transition can be very painful. It is better to expand the comfort zone so that its boundaries are no longer felt.

    You need to do things that scare you more often. When I was making my way through my teens, I was so tight-lipped that even talking to a salesperson was an impossible task. To get rid of this, I specifically pestered the consultants with questions – over time, the fear passed.

    Another thing that saves you from being squeezed is work that requires maximum communication skills. Personally, I know journalists who came to the profession for the sake of getting rid of complexes – and it turns out the same!

  5. First. First, you need to understand what exactly your uncertainty is, because all people are afraid and shy of different things.

    Imagine the most uncomfortable situation in which you will be “lost”. What is the situation? When there are a lot of people around or vice versa, a little? When do you need to do something publicly? When do you communicate with someone you know well and whose opinion is important to you, or vice versa, with a stranger? Without dealing with this, it will be difficult to go further. Sometimes people consider themselves insecure, although, in fact, they simply do not know how to do something: public speeches, reports, interviews are a skill, a skill. If you don't have it, you may feel that something is not working out for you, something is going wrong and start to feel shy about it.�

    Understand your “weakness”, then you will definitely be able to” pinpoint ” it.

    Second. Remember this. No one is interesting to anyone. No one thinks about you, no one laughs at you, does not point a finger, does not discuss. Everyone has their own problems. No one wants your problems. Do you think a lot about the people around you on the subway? Well, probably, if they really stand out too much, are rude, fight or are dressed like Lady GaGa, you will, at best, take them off on your mobile phone – but even in this case, after 15 minutes you will forget. Self-doubt often comes from what you believe: you are being looked at, judged, and misunderstood. They don't look at it at all, they don't think anything, they don't even try to understand it.

    The third. Very often, girls ' insecurities are due to dissatisfaction with their appearance or weight. Personally, when I'm thin and well-dressed, I can roll mountains and vice versa, knowing that today I look “not very” can fade and screw up. Choose at least one suit in which you are 100% confident. Let it have something a little more “cool”than you usually wear – non-standard earrings, high shoes, etc. – something that can come up to you and say” wow, where did you get this?” – this greatly increases your self-esteem.�

    Go on a light fasting diet or get into the habit of going to the gym or running in the morning – these actions also strengthen your self-esteem.

    Fourth. Speak loudly and clearly. Keep your head and shoulders straight. Train even in the most uncomfortable situations for you. Clear, loud, like an announcer. Slowly, don't mumble. Let it become a habit. No one will judge you – people with such a speech are respected, feared, and a priori perceived as potential leaders.

    Fifth. Don't be afraid to say no and yes. If you want it, it means a clear yes. If you don't want to, you don't want to. At the same time, you must clearly understand yes or no inside yourself – often uncertainty comes from internal doubts: I, of course, do not like this company, but Misha is also there, he is cheerful, it is inconvenient to refuse. I should probably go. No, you shouldn't.

    Sixth. Read, watch good movies, go to the theater. Knowledge is very effective in destroying any complexes.

    Seventh. Don't hesitate to be shy. A self-confident and shameless person has never been better than a nice, modest and slightly shy intellectual.

    A couple of years of such work on yourself and you will understand that you are a unique, beautiful, intelligent and interesting person who is doing great.

  6. Why do you need to overcome it? You can achieve your goals in life without being confident, and that's even better. Most likely, in reality, you don't want to be overconfident, but to experience less stress when doing certain things. To do this, you need to learn from people who are not stressed, observe them, learn their techniques, communicate with them and copy. Stress is a useful thing, it signals to you that you don't know how to do something and you need to learn it. Naked impudence-most likely, you will only spoil everything. And if you don't have stress, why do you need blind self-confidence?

  7. Uncertainty arises when you compare yourself to someone or something and think that you should / shouldn't be able to do it. Otherwise, you are “unsuccessful”, “stupid”, “weak” and so on.

    • First, make a list of everything that you know how to do or know exactly (i.e., this knowledge actually works).
    • Then make a list of situations in which you feel insecure.
    • A list of people in whose company you feel insecure.
    • After writing the lists from the second and third items, determine in which areas of knowledge and skills/abilities, and qualities, you have uncertainty.�
    • Choose from these knowledge, skills and qualities that you are personally interested in and want to master.
    • Start mastering the selected (interesting) ones. And it's best to start with live communication with those who understand this. Admitting out loud that you're a sucker at this, but you're interested.
    • Just leave the uninteresting and unnecessary ones aside. In situations where they get out, just say that you don't understand this at all and you don't need it.
      To avoid uncertainty, you need to honestly admit to yourself and others that you lack something: knowledge, skills, and qualities. Humans are not born omniscient. A person does not need to know and be able to do everything. Live your life and learn what you are interested in and need. Leave the rest to those who are interested and need it. When you need it, ask. Stop comparing yourself to someone else. it is better to compare yourself today with yourself yesterday. Defeat yourself every day.
  8. I have developed the same self-doubt because of my 9-month depression. I don't think you need to describe the symptoms, because everyone already knows what it's like when you're afraid to just ask a bus driver to stop at a bus stop. Time helped me personally. All the depression I was sad, as it should be, cut a little hand. Now my boyfriend is doing everything to increase my self-esteem. He compliments me every day. Can I say that it helped me? Yes, it certainly helped. But it was somehow slow, but with sharp steps. I didn't notice the result myself. As for tips, here's what helped me:
    1.You see people around you. What do they do? They laugh and talk about something. Some of them are very disgusting and brusque. Why can't you do the same? Are you worse than them? I don't think. You are gold, which also has all the rights to talk to people, defend its interests and not be silent in a rag.�
    2.Find yourself a person. It can be a friend( girlfriend), an acquaintance(s), or your significant other. The main thing is that they notice your problem and try to push you to communicate with people in some way. After all, +1 person in your environment adds at least meeting new people, where you can practice conversation.

  9. Remembering yourself years ago:

    1. Only practice will help. Books, magazines, and articles will give you a good theory that you can push deeper. You need skills, not knowledge.

    2. Self-doubt is, in simple terms, means that you consider yourself worse than others. From here, you yourself belittle your rank in front of them, and any communication causes discomfort, as if you were communicating with your superiors.

    3. Choose criteria for evaluating people – what is important for you in them? Confidence is the knowledge that you are at least equal in these aspects.
      (hint – you can choose aspects where you are better, but we will consider this cheating for now).

    4. Income, appearance, physical condition, work with posture, voice, your cockroaches, hobbies, ability to express your thoughts, developed sense of humor – something that you need to pump up all your life. So much for the program for the coming years.

    * I looked at myself after the holidays.
    However, sometimes you can take pauses when you are sure, of course 🙂

    1. Well, let's go.. sports, books, movies, professional competence, attending courses, meetings, exhibitions, several companies by hobbies, appearance, style, doctors (if necessary). Travel, with or without domestic extreme sports/comfort.
      Some of them are free, some for minimal money, and you will have to pay for some of them. These expenses, over the years, will bring you a great income. Unlike iPhones, which only lose in price 🙂

    P. S. And most importantly – evaluate your environment-relatives, relatives, friends. Do not hesitate to say goodbye to those who drag you back, allow themselves to belittle you and your values, even if it is your own mother. Fill the empty space with people who will help you achieve your goals.

    P.S. The most important thing is to understand once that people always choose the best option for them. And no one owes anyone anything. There is no justice. �This is, in fact, once better understood.

  10. Since you are a girl, Anna, your self-doubt is most likely rooted in the opinions of others. Maybe someone in the family was afraid to once again praise and say what a smart girl you are or” for educational purposes ” scolded for the slightest mistakes, so that you would become like an angel disembodied because of this.

    Here the gentlemen above advised you to work on yourself, they are certainly right, but only if you were a man. Otherwise, how can we explain the existence of successful women in various social areas who suffer from self-doubt as teenagers? ( Remember the same “Office Romance”)

    Achievements increase self-esteem for men, but this is not suitable for us girls.

    No matter how much you work on yourself, it doesn't really help you, except indirectly. A change of environment will help you. Try to communicate only with those people who praise you, say how beautiful you are, how wonderful, how clever, how talented, who give you sincere compliments.
    And don't think that you should earn them, you are a girl, you are beautiful on your own, without any achievements:)

    P/S: I looked at your FB profile, you really are a beauty, which you don't have)

  11. The secret is very simple: the next time you feel fear or uncertainty, break the stereotype – do what you are afraid of, intentionally, uncertainly, whatever, just do it.�

    Why do you succeed? – You only have one life, if you don't try to become what you want in this one, you won't get any more chances. Become one today and don't stop being one.

    And remember: your fears are the most powerful thing you have. As long as you overcome them, you will grow to the skies!

    Good luck to you.

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