11 Answers

  1. Hatred of others is a consequence of self-hatred.�

    Let's say you're not pretty. Do you have a defect? Or just a nose with a hump/strong thinness/ acne, etc.? If the latter, then “ugly” in this case is a very subjective concept. There are really a lot of people in the world who like a crooked nose, terribly thin guys and girls, overweight men and women in the body (which for others is simply “fat”). And skin problems can be solved.

    I also advise you to do a better search and see how many awesome models there are now with defects (which they turned into their highlight and everyone believed them) and even some diseases.

    Everyone says “love and accept yourself”. If you can't, save up for plastic surgery and fix the defect that prevents you from living. But don't think that this will solve all your problems and you will immediately love yourself. It will be easier for you to look at yourself in the mirror, but this is about 20% of the possible work on yourself. You need to start very gradually, step by step. At least start by praising yourself for some small things. Read books, now a huge selection of cool books. Watch the video. Keep a diary, write about your emotions, and don't keep them to yourself. Go in for sports, find hobbies and like-minded people. These are all very common, worn-out, banal words, and if you do not have a sincere desire to get out of this state of hatred and self-pity, they will not help you in any way. And this state is comfortable, yes. You can sit with a clear conscience and hate everyone, while doing nothing.�

    I hated myself at school, but it's been 5 years since then and I've changed a lot. I worked on myself every day and worked out of self-love. I was constantly reading, watching, and listening to something. I absorbed the information and put it into practice. If you do this, your worldview will change. And sports.. sports at the biochemical level will charge you with a good mood and a sense of satisfaction and pleasant fatigue (you can't do anything about this good done to you, it's inevitable) But here it is very important to find your own type of activity, it can even be walking in the park.�

    Here's a selection to get you started:

    https://vk.com/clockworkorangeishere?w=wall165119613_5410 Brilliant and sobering post by Vladimir Guriev

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWnHTD8YQ3M the golden mean between “bodypositive” and “healthy lifestyle of the brain”

    https://theoryandpractice.ru/posts/16271-kogda-agoniya-srednego-vozrasta-pozadi-12-istin-pisatelnitsy-enn-lamott ” What to do if you're desperate?”: 12 truths written by Anne Lamotte

    https://playserver.net/2014/07/ukroshhenie-mamonta-ili-kak-perestat-dumat-o-mnenii-okruzhayushhix.html one of my favorite articles, and it's best to read it in the original on the waitbutwhy website

  2. Have you tried to break away from your computer or iPhone? Do not climb every free second in Tik Tok or Yu Tube, but look AROUND YOU AT THE REAL WORLD? After all, the surrounding world is really beautiful! Go in for sports, help your grandmother to weed the beds and chop wood. It lets you go right away.) Psychologists-smsychologists … PHYSICAL ACTIVITY, that's the best way to get bad thoughts out of your head

  3. All those ” fat? lose weight”, ” stupid? read books”, ” no hobbies? my God, well, start doing something, ball, get out, popinay”, as well as these examples from life in the style of” I didn't like my freckles before, but then I realized that this is my highlight, I just fell in love with myself and you just love yourself and that's all ” – this is all bullshit.

    Asking such questions here is silly. You're not going to do anything about it anyway. All the advice that they will give you here will not help. You know how to Google, everyone writes the same thing. But I'm already tired of waiting for some changes, right?

    I'll just tell you one thing. You're fucking lazy. You have a lot of free time to think about all sorts of nonsense, procrastinate and philosophically reflect on how bad everything around you is and, by God, only freaks surround you, cheslovo. At the same time, you understand that the problem is in you and do nothing about it.

    You don't know what you want from life, you don't know how to live and for what. You're not the only one.

    Still, there is some effective advice. Unfortunately, it's only one. Leave laziness.�

    Just keep yourself so busy that you don't have the energy to ask empty questions here. There's always a lot to do. If you really have nothing to do at all, then lick the apartment every half hour, it helps.�

    In the process of doing things, you will suddenly begin to understand what you like and what causes negative emotions. Surround yourself with worries, get tired of them. As a result, you will understand in which direction you need to move. Self-hatred will pass, especially for other people, you will simply have no time to think about others, and a different opinion will be formed about yourself.

    There is not far from motivation and super councils in the style of ” fat? lose weight.” And you will lose weight, because you will want to make yourself better mentally.

    But to make all the simple tips work, first load yourself up with things to do.


  4. Self-hatred and hatred of others are characteristic of people with the sound vector. The sound vector is dominant, its desires are immaterial, they are not realized, but they require their fulfillment. When the desires of the sound vector are not satisfied, there is a feeling of meaninglessness of life, depression, apathy and other negative states. This state can be caused by unrealized sound desires, unrealized properties of vectors, for example, in a sound vector. In this case, a person may hate himself, because he does not know how to realize his properties for the benefit of society, for which he was given life. He does not feel happy, feels the meaninglessness of life and depression. We feel confident when we understand our own desires and opportunities, talents and qualities, and can adequately implement them among other people. But when we have internal psychological problems, traumas, false attitudes, anchors, they interfere with this process. Not realizing themselves sufficiently, a person loses his sense of self-esteem, loses the foundation of his confidence and well-being. It happens that this condition is also accompanied by fears of how people will see what they will think , and this worsens the situation even more. There is only one way to get rid of self-doubt: to reveal your natural talents and qualities, to get rid of everything that prevents them from being realized. Then the internal state changes.

  5. The phrase from the ring of Solomon “And it will pass”helps me a lot

    It could have been your ad, but it's not here, as we can see, but this is very inaccurate. Doubt will also pass.

  6. Then life is not worth living. I know it sounds harsh, but it's true, I feel the same way myself, and believe me, I would love to give up my life, but I can't, there were many attempts, but in the end I was never able to finish. I remember standing in the middle of my rented studio on the outskirts, blood dripping from my hands, already coagulating into lumps near the wound, puddles of my half-dried blood on the floor, a tummy in my head because of 10-20 packs of atarax with fenizipam, I wanted to die so many times and lost so much.
    I was an ordinary boy from Russia, an ordinary province, an ordinary odnushka, an ordinary kindergarten and an ordinary school, small dreams that did not come true, I even had a dog. And then I lost all 11 years of school to an empty 2 started higher ones too, I never finished 1 year not once. I didn't get drunk, I didn't lead a debauched lifestyle, that was enough for me at school). I just lost everything in an instant, I've been alone for a year, no family, no acquaintances, no friends. Heavily addicted to marijuana, the truth is that I smoke daily, but not because it's cool, I just can't do it any other way, I can't get up after sleeping, I can't go to bed, I can't see the sun or the night sky, I feel like killing myself, I don't want to exist, familiar?
    There is no place for such people in the world, I just wait for my death and hope it finds me soon. I hope you don't have to experience this temporarily, either. But if not, then know that I look at my life as a satirical comedy, where the loser is always me, it helps, because in death I will find salvation from this.

  7. the best thing is to find a society that will love you, change you, and encourage you. We need an example. Your condition indicates that you have a complex and you are sitting in the wrong place.

  8. I used to hate everyone, then eventually it went away, now I only hate myself, I just put up with it, no matter how much I tried to change the hatred towards myself did not leave me.

  9. Peace be with you. You do not have the energy of hatred for yourself or for another person, just the emptiness in your inner world ( there is no soul – a Divine particle) did not put it for any reason. And your void is populated by a demon, imp, or other dark energy creature.

    Now, in recent times, this is evident in many human beings.

  10. I hate myself, and I hate others. I'm also insecure and insecure. What should I do about it? How can I become a better person?


    I've already answered somewhere about “being better”. This is nonsense and it's unrealistic. You can be more efficient in terms of completing your tasks, but not better. Today you are effective, but tomorrow the tasks and conditions have changed and your effectiveness has dropped, so you need to learn and improve it again.

    About the primary message here is the question: What is primary and what is secondary?

    1) If hatred of oneself and others is primary, then “complex and insecure” is logically understandable. Confidence and flexibility (uncomplexity) is the ability to interact freely, without evaluation and effectively with people in order to achieve their goals and complete their tasks. If you hate yourself and others, this is impossible. My eyes are closed with hatred and I don't have the time and energy to think about any tasks. Moreover, there is no strength to accept others as they are. And without such acceptance, it is basically impossible to negotiate. So, if there is hatred for yourself and others, there is no lack of complexes and uncertainty. This is simply a misunderstanding of cause and effect.

    2) If complexes and uncertainty are primary, then hatred is a rejection of oneself and a desire to destroy oneself as such. And what about hating others, in this case? This is envy. That they can do things that you're “not allowed” to do.

    So what should I do? (right now pokumekayu))))

    If the primary hatred is for yourself and others, then, first of all, you need to sort out this very hatred on the shelves. Who and why do I hate? Then: Why? I can't suggest anything further, because further actions are based on what was discovered during the analysis. You can, of course, say: “Accept and love yourself. Accept and love others.” This is as correct as it is unrealistic. 30 years of working on yourself and about 20 years of working with other people clearly showed the absurdity of such advice. More precisely, its impracticality. Then, based on what you found, it will be clear which specialists to contact and what methods to use to get rid of hatred. To yourself and others. Everyone has their own reasons and methods will be individual. And the work is definitely not for a week or two.

    You can add the following to your primary questions::

    • What kind of self wouldn't I hate?
    • What should people around me be like so that I don't hate them?
    • What should I do to avoid hating myself?
    • What should others do so that I don't hate them?
    • What results should I have so that I don't hate myself?

    Answering these questions will help you better understand your priorities, values, and beliefs. I assume that a lot of things will become funny and stupid and, at least, reduce the degree of hatred.

    If the primary complexities and insecurities.

    Uncertainty. Try to get away from this “confident-insecure” vision of the movement altogether. Look at your movement in life from these positions:

    • I don't have a goal of my own, I'm wasting my time.
    • I have a main goal. All life processes are subordinate to it.

    It is incorrect to put “confidence-uncertainty” as the cause of these manifestations. The opposite is true. They are the cause. And confidence-uncertainty is just a brief description of people with two opposite manifestations. If a person has a clear main goal and systematically, patiently, putting it in the first place, moves towards its implementation-this is called confident. And vice versa. There's no other way. Therefore, those who believe that “first I will become confident, and then I will achieve everything” are left with nothing. This is impossible.�

    This fully applies to complexities. This is a set of beliefs and comparisons, accumulated by experience, fixed at the level of the muscles and organs of the body (and not in the brain), which does not allow you to feel free and respond flexibly to the situation. Once this is experienced and fixed in the body, then you need to change it experimentally, so that the processes in the body and the state of muscles and organs change.

    1. Clearly define your goal. The main one. Any one that suits your interests and abilities.
    2. Start slowly, in small steps, without requiring anything “cool” from yourself, to move towards it. Don't tell anyone about the goal. Except for those who will definitely support you.
    3. In this case, hatred is envy. The conclusion is that others are allowed what you are not allowed to do. Ask yourself why you think you shouldn't do this. You may need to turn to specialists for deep development of different beliefs. Start to allow yourself little by little what you didn't allow before. Little by little. Understanding that there will be mistakes, there will be emotions, suffering. Just know that all this is an illusion and you can only change it with experience.

    Categorically throw out the idea of “getting better”. A goal and only a goal. Patience and hard work. Take small steps, so as not to get into a situation that, in the first stages, you will not be able to withstand. Gradually, the forces will increase, there will be more results, and the steps can be made larger and bolder. You can't just (sitting in the lotus position or at a cool training session) become bold, confident, the best, cool and immediately start living differently. It's a process. It's a tough process. The growth process. A process that takes place under real conditions and in real situations. Don't ask too much of yourself at once.

    So far. This is a big topic. Without understanding the specific situation and communicating with a specific person, nothing specific can be advised. Maybe someone else can tell you something more effective.

  11. You can only get better if you REALLY want to get better. In fact, it all depends on you. And only from you.

    The main thing is to understand the reason for all this. After all, everything has a reason, some origins, where it all started.

    I think that, first of all, you need to take a closer look at your environment. In my experience, the environment plays TOO big a role. Maybe it's time to change something first in this?! It's much easier than it sounds. There are a huge number of people living in the world. Maybe it's time to start looking for some new contacts?!

    Second, try to change your mindset. Stop presenting yourself as a complex loser. Start presenting yourself as an interesting charming guy. You'll see, you'll become one. A lot depends on the thoughts in your head.

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