26 Answers

  1. This awareness was always there, since childhood I understood that all of us would die sometime, but not so long ago such a story happened to me, when I felt the full horror of what was happening. I was traveling by train alone from my parents, to the city where I live. It was still about a couple of hours away, early in the morning, and everyone in the car was asleep. There is no Internet connection on your phone. I get up from my shelf and since I don't want to sleep anymore, but I have nothing to do, I go to the toilet to wash my face. As soon as I reached the bathroom and stood in front of the door, I felt terribly weak and nauseous, I literally could not stand on my feet. My legs give out and I can't stand anymore, so I decide to go back to my shelf. As I try to stand up, I realize that my vision is disappearing, slowly closing in such a circle, like the screen in an old black-and-white movie until complete darkness, with my eyes wide open. In this state, I somehow make my way to my bunk, sit up, and realize that I can't move my arm or leg, I can't see anything, I only have my hearing left. Then comes the feeling that I can't breathe and I feel like I'm getting wet all over and I'm incredibly hot and there's not enough air, my heart is racing and I can't even call for help. And then the thought comes to my mind, this is the end , right now I'm going to die and this thought that you can't roll back anything , you can't call your mother or husband and tell them that you love them, that you are on a train among strangers who don't really care. That you will die without saying or doing something. That your body will be taken out of the railway carriage by strangers. And the most terrible thing is the feeling of complete loneliness in this moment. I'm the only one left with all this. I was gripped by a horror that I had never experienced in my life, and the only question that kept running through my head was, what's going to happen like this? Is it really that stupid?.. In fact, my thoughts were racing through my head at an incredible speed. Then gradually returned sensitivity to the hands and feet and vision began to appear and the strangest thing that I saw the floor in the car, as if from a computer game, some fractals, everything moved, snaked and was incredibly bright acid colors. Then gradually and it ended, I came back to normal. I was all wet with sweat and went to the toilet to wash my face with water and breathe the air in the Vestibule. All this lasted, judging by the clock on the phone for about 10 minutes, but it felt as if I had spent several hours in this horror. I still don't know what it was, but the awareness of the fragility and transience of life came to me even more and I began to value everything in my life , my family, my Health and set priorities even more. I forgave everyone and asked for forgiveness, after this incident, now I think a hundred times that I tell my family not to offend and generally try to appreciate every day I live and enjoy it. That was such a cautionary tale for me.

  2. Awareness of death comes after understanding that death is not the finish line after the race-it's everything, and you will not know whether you lost or won.Time froze at the moment of death.There is no continuation.

  3. At the age of 13, when my mother died, it was April 1991, standing at her coffin, I realized one thing: my childhood was over, adult life with all its hardships was ahead, and that death is not a bad disease that affects only bad people or losers

  4. Everything was simple and ordinary, I listened to the doctor's verdict, saying that you have cancer in the 4th stage, and in our country this is a death sentence. Then came the understanding of the impermanence of being.

  5. Oddly enough, I realized this in 2.5 years Very early. I remember it now. I can't say it was stressful for me. I was lying on the bed that still stands in front of me and on which I sleep, and in the room I am still in the same as 28 years ago.

    So I lay on my bed and looked at my father's digital clock, which counted down the time. I stared at the dial without opening it. There, the number changed every second. It amused me. I was happy when I looked at him. I wondered what time was. Second. Minute. Year.

    I looked up from the dial and thought. Ten. Hundred. And then I thought, why am I lying here on this couch, why am I not in the next apartment, why am I not somewhere else? What for? For what? I remembered that my mother told me that the life expectancy of a person is 60 years. So when that time is up, I will die. That's how I came to it.

    But I didn't take it seriously at the time. I thought that I was born, the world around me existed without me, so it will exist after me. I wasn't afraid of death.

    I began to fear hell, not death, at the age of 19, when I learned what hell is and how it works. But coming to God and the Christian revolution helped me overcome this fear.

  6. Even before school. I don't know how old I was(approximately 4-6) in the village we lived, so I constantly ran with my dog on the hills, then on the banks of the Yenisei, then in the forest(the dog's name was Chip, we sheltered him when I was very young, and therefore, Chip went with me everywhere, and rushed at anyone who in his opinion, poses a threat to me). One day, I was coming up from the shore, and something came over me. Suddenly, I wondered, ” Why was I born in Russia?” (by that time I realized that this was because there was a war in Chechnya) “why was I born in my own family, and not in someone else's”, etc. and so I stood for a very long time, thinking about all this. it was at that moment that I realized that sooner or later I would grow old and die, but I did not want to believe in it, and of course I began to be afraid, until the age of 11 I convinced myself that I was “special” and would find a solution, dreaming of living forever

  7. I was about 5 years old then. I was just going about my very important business, like playing with dolls, when I suddenly realized that I was going to die one day. I was very scared. I went up to my mother, all in tears, and told her the essence of the problem. I don't remember what she said now, but her words only served to increase my panic.
    For another week or two, I simply couldn't believe that one day I would simply be gone, that other people's lives would continue to move on, that the world wouldn't disappear after I died.
    I don't know if it was a defense mechanism for my fragile psyche, but now such my childish thoughts are somewhat surprising to me.

  8. Here they answered something similar of course. Such realizations are probably often prompted by cases when we are helpless.
    I am a fairly healthy person, but at one time, for some reason, I could start a strong cough, which turned into a real spasm in my throat, from which I naturally could not breathe. The first time it happened, I was really scared and surprised. Absolute helplessness, lack of understanding when it will pass. Panic. And … the fear that I might die of suffocation right now. There was no regret. There was no plea to anyone. There were no thoughts about the stupidity of the moment. Or Figs to you, I will not give up! But just ordinary or something. Readiness for such a finale. I had time to think about a certain cinematic moment for the first couple of times.)
    Then I learned to slowly inhale through a spasm through panic and through wheezing. It's been a long time since this has happened.
    I am absolutely not a fatalist, but I think a person can feel that this is the very end. The rest is a completely normal fear for your life. Maybe that's why I was so calm…don't know

  9. I was the only one who didn't think about it as a child? Maybe it was the fact that the computer was bought only in the 6th grade, and before that, the only entertainment was a walk with friends. Then I remember going to my uncle's funeral, but even then I didn't think about it, I don't know why..

    In other things, and now I don't think, it is about the fact that one day I will die to me 24. And there's nothing wrong with that, we'll all have time for the next world, we need to live here. And in general, I began to think about death just when I started watching TV shows in class at 10,11..well, this is purely a thought about nothing.

  10. I don't remember exactly, but in early childhood (2-3 years). But I think I always knew that I and everyone else were going to die sooner or later. What I remember exactly is asking my mother for 3 years why people die of old age. She explained it to me once, but I don't remember how. The most beautiful thing is that I was never afraid of death – when I was little, I believed that I would go to heaven. And when I got older, I realized everything, but the news of my death never caused me negative emotions. On the contrary, when there were seemingly unsolvable problems in life, the misery of death was somewhat comforting, because even if the problems themselves do not end, sooner or later they will end with death. I have believed and served God all my life, so the only thing I fear is being unfaithful to him at the moment of my death. I am also afraid of terrible situations that can lead to death, such as burning alive, etc. I also fear the death of my parents before I find my family

  11. Until the age of 13-15, I had some kind of religious and esoteric slag in my head. I knew that I was going to die, but death was a mystery, I thought that something would happen after it. I believed in everything, in religious miracles, in psychics, in ghosts, in the paranormal. If it's shown on TV, then it's true. I didn't understand that the main task of TV people is not to inform, but to capture attention. It was during this period of my life that I began to read Dostoevsky, Sartre, Camus, became disillusioned with religions, and became skeptical. I began to check everything, argue, since the Internet was already there, and I found worthy refutations of any paranormal stuff. That's when the realization of death hit, I will not go to heaven or hell, I will not fly to the astral plane, I will not go to nirvana, I will not join the cosmic mind. After my death, everything will continue: the clouds will continue to fly, the planets will continue to rotate, people will continue to soap, and I will no longer be there, the electro-chemical impulses will stop in my brain, my consciousness will cease to exist. And all other people are just as mortal. It was tough. I still think about it a lot. From these thoughts, I began to appreciate my own and other people's lives more, I began to appreciate time. This is a central fact of my philosophy and worldview. This gives an assessment of all my actions. What if tomorrow? How to live today if you suddenly die tomorrow. What has value and what doesn't. I don't despair. The show must go on.

  12. Honestly, until the age of 18, I tried not to think about it,and then we were driving along the highway and I saw people after a terrible accident who were dead and everything went off!!!slowly, thoughts began to climb that we are so fragile and not only old age can take me away, but all sorts of other situations can affect my departure, I got married!10 years old and we don't even have children!!!we live slowly!! Gradually relatives and acquaintances began to leave and then a friend became more frequent!!!just imagined that once I would leave, it became so scary that it became hard to breathe and a sharp weakness!the only thing that I ask even despite the fear is to leave before the spouse!this is selfishness!but the fear of losing it is much greater than the fear of dying!!!

  13. I recently turned eighteen. Right before my birthday, I realized what death is, that after it there is nothing,I will not be, there will be nothing left of me. Just emptiness. I was overcome with fear, I felt sick from despair. From the fact that the end is one, it is inevitable. I think when I start to suffer from all sorts of bullshit, or think about something, then the inevitable death will help me with my choice and give me an answer. I will be able to do what I'm afraid of, get out of my comfort zone, not fight or waste time on it, and so on…

  14. In the sense in which the question is asked, I probably haven't realized it yet. I'm not sure that the death of me is the same as the death of any other people close to me. What if my death is just that some kind of current performance stops showing itself to me? And it's just not clear what it will change to. That the world will remain without me is not very disturbing, I'm just still not completely sure that this world without me somehow exists at all.

    And if it's just about the possible probable death, then I don't remember. As if he'd always known about her. And according to the laws by which that “performance” is shown to me, it follows that it is quite easy to part with life by your own will or thoughtlessness, and even without them it is real. And so all my life I deliberately did not risk my life. I didn't seek pleasure on the verge of losing her.

  15. For the first time I thought about my death, as for me, quite late, in 7-8 years. During this period, it seemed to me that school was a living hell. This topic did not develop and I left it, periodically thoughts returned, but there was nothing concrete in them.

    Interesting conclusions came to me later.

    It's definitely after school. I fell in love, everything was unsuccessful to put it mildly. I cried and wanted to die. But I'm not so bold as to go out and do the deed. While I was thinking about this, I also remembered that there are parents, I feel sorry for them, I am the meaning of life for them.

    I came to the conclusion that if I did not go well on the love front, then I need to become a fully developed person, so that no friend could refuse me. But since then, I just started hitting people with a sword at tournaments, at training with a sword simulator, and went on an indefinite binge, wasting my talents and almost screwing up my studies. So that's shorter.

    At the same time, I probably lost almost all my conscious fears(not to mention the instinct of self-preservation, it's hard to argue with it), and I not only started telling myself, but also believed that you will die – well, there will be no problems.

  16. I was 6 or 7 years old, I was in pulmonology.

    Because of suspected pneumonia, I was placed in an isolated ward, where I was alone almost around the clock – a couple of times a day I was seen by a nurse and gave injections. It lasted only 6 days, then I was sent home and my mother herself gave me a course of antibiotics.

    When I was admitted to the hospital, I was breathing very badly. Imagine that you need to fill your lungs through 1/8 of a cocktail tube – that's how I felt. In an asthma attack, the awareness of the finiteness of all living things began to come. In the “solitary” ward, this awareness developed into a full-fledged existential crisis. Even when I was taken home, it didn't go through.

    I've been having wild panic attacks ever since, and I know that even if I get distracted from these thoughts, death doesn't become any less real. A little hope for reincarnation.

  17. When the kids from the first year were treated to weed… That's when I started thinking about death… Or rather, I thought I was dead. And then, about three hours after the climax, he wanted to die. I will die young, I will die…

  18. Death does not exist, I used to be afraid of it, until I knew the whole essence and unity of the Universe, nothing no one dies, the body dies, the spirit dies, you are the real immortal, but the concept of death is absurd, do you think after death there will be a stupid black screen and you will look into it forever? Sounds like bullshit, doesn't it? But there are some of them.
    However, one would have to be a fool to think that all religions, dark ages, witch burnings, secret societies, pyramids, Science Fiction movies, Bosch, Da Vinci, Tesla and other geniuses are just a perfect randomness of events, people and circumstances that knew nothing about the structure of the universe and its laws.
    Do you think that you live in the universe only after being born and dying once? Isn't it funny how you unconsciously try to stop being responsible for your past lives and karmic consequences in the current one? Everything is pre-determined and spelled out by YOURSELF, these are banal attitudes, like the matrix, if you watched the movie, then congratulations, we all live in it and that's what the Wachowskis tried to warn you about, but of course everyone thought it was great fiction for the evening, just like with Lovecraft and the whole world history, YOU JUST UNCONSCIOUSLY DON't WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING AND just unconsciously try to shut out knowledge, saying to other true-knowledgeable people, ” are you talking nonsense/stoned?/I need some sleep too/or treatment/it's time to go to the psych ward” and other absurdity that flows daily everywhere and always, you don't believe in reptilians, but you don't even think about why the planets are able to hold on without support and simply..fly? Be in levitation. You live on a planet that is as much a living consciousness as anything else. There is everything, always and everywhere, Doctor Strange review or something, in a science fiction movie they show a reality that you do not want to accept thanks to your human mind, which is afraid of everything unidentified and can not get enough, so people either demand clear and concrete evidence, but no matter how accurate they are, your mind-ego will find it absurd in any case.
    Were the pyramids built in the etheric dimension? Did the Bluebloods take over from ancient Egypt? Do consciousness operators control people's instincts?
    Ugh, what kind of nonsense is this? Author of lzhot.
    Repress the ego, and repress the notion of unreality and reality within yourself.
    You are looking for evidence and you don't even know that YOU ARE the proof.
    All the truth is buried deep, but still inside you, do not look for mirrors in the form of girls and guys, feelings for which you will be filled, do not look for love from them, because true love is already embedded inside you, love for everything that exists and events in your life.
    Manage reality now, so that after death, do not let Boh not go to the light at the end of the tunnel, this is, if anything, electroshock therapy at 300,000 hz, which completely erases, (but not forever of course, nothing can be erased forever in the Universe, so you can remember your past incarnations in regression) your memory,.

    A practical guide after death:
    Do not go to the light at the end of the tunnel under any circumstances, imagine how you move away from it and turn to the right/left and imagine Space, imagine expanding and getting out of the prison Earth matrix trap in general and then you will calmly leave Earth, see star wars (yes, there is a war in Space now, but it is inaccessible to human eyes) and ask yourself what you want to learn from people in the universe, maybe how to build your alien ship, how to create your matrix, how to return to your star family, as soon as you think, options will immediately pop up in your mind. you, perhaps you will already be there, so do not worry, you will not get lost in Space, because in the absolute (you will become the absolute if you do everything as I wrote)
    you are capable of learning everything and moving every second outside of space and time (but there is no time at all, so you know)
    Good luck, and remember, you are not alone and have never been alone, there are always those with you who you are unable to see, while you are unable, everyone has their own way.

  19. I was about seven years old when I woke up one night and realized that sooner or later everyone was going to die, and so was I. I was wild, incredibly scared. I suddenly felt like I was going to die right now. I crept into the bathroom, turned on the light, stood there for a long time, and the light calmed me down a little: I realized that I was not going to die right now. But I still dread the idea of death.

  20. I somehow remember from my childhood a wonderful saying of the greatest man , Generalissimo Alexander Vasilyevich Suvorov – two deaths will not happen and one will not pass.

  21. It was in my childhood, elementary school. I still remember sitting in a dark room and thinking about this and that, but I don't know how I got to this point. I began to think more about what would happen after death than about what would happen one day. That was what bothered me the most. The fact that I won't see anything anymore, I can't imagine it, it got scarier and scarier, and eventually it got to the point of hysteria. My parents noticed, but I didn't say what it was about.

    I've been thinking about it all my life.

  22. I remember! We lived in the village, there was a farm. And then our piglet died, and I didn't sleep all night, all sorts of thoughts came into my head, it seemed that someone was walking around the house, whispering something somewhere. I must have fallen asleep in the early morning, and I remember someone's hand on my forehead and the words, not the voice, but the words-don't be afraid,everything is fine. And since then, I'm not afraid of the dead or death. And I was then about 9-10 years old.

  23. I realized it during one of the sessions of understanding my life. It gave me confidence in the future. I am not a religious person, but I believe that something is definitely waiting for me further away, so I consider self-development to be the main goal in my life. The death of any other person of mine is a sadness only for me, but not for him, so I advise you not to be selfish and calmly let the person go on a further journey.

  24. It was all rather strange. I was 6 years old at the time, and my grandmother and I were on a bus from our dacha. It was raining very hard, the bus was packed with people, all the windows were fogged up, but even if you periodically wipe them, you couldn't see anything because of the heavy rain. I was just sitting there and watching the raindrops run down the glass, when at one point, I realized that one day I might die. I was very scared, and this thought haunted me for about a year, maybe more. Other than that, I was just trying to figure out why this is happening. In the end, I decided for myself that it will not be soon, and it is not worth thinking about it.

  25. One day, as I always did before going to bed, I realized this. This knowledge came to me along with a panic attack and depression in six months. Up to this point, I was quite religious, so death was not the end for me, but my passion for philosophy for the last year was not in vain,I realized that this is the end of my existence, the end of everything for me. It was scary, but it gave me a big breakthrough in my development, I remember the time and try not to waste it just like that, I often tell my loved ones that I love them, I often find joy in ordinary things. Read philosophy,study history,and get to know yourself.

  26. Once in my childhood, against the background of Latin American TV shows, I realized that death can come unexpectedly to everyone (and to children the same) But what is important, I already understood then that death is primarily suffering. Moreover, if a person suffers and eventually dies, this suffering passes on to the living.

    As a teenager, I realized that the worst thing about death is not death itself, but its slow arrival. My aunt was suffering from cancer at the time, and she lived quite a long time for her stage of cancer – she suffered. The whole family around them also suffered from the hopelessness of the situation.

    At the same time, for some reason, the religious fear of death did not bother me at all. Throughout my childhood, films persistently showed that any dead people necessarily go to heaven.

    Until the age of 17, I thought that I was not afraid of death, but of a life full of deprivation and suffering.

    But after 17 I realized that I was afraid of both.

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