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The thing is, this fear is based on the idea that if you refuse, you will suffer, you will lose something significant. In a sense , this is true, but here you should carefully see a simple thing: You risk the fantasy of mutual sympathy. That is, the product of a mind that doesn't exist in the real world (even if you really want it to).
If this reciprocity exists , then you are only in the black, of course. With such a simple technique, you can significantly reduce or completely eliminate this fear, knowing that in reality no losses are expected of you.
Change the communication setting.
The fear of “being rejected” comes from the “I want to get out of communication” attitude. You want something, you turn to a person, and he will not give it to you-fear.
In communication, the “I want to give in communication” attitude is much more effective. With this setup, you come to contact from the fullness of your own “I” and from the desire to share.�
For example, tell the guy “Cool sneakers” or “Cool tattoo” if they are really cool, or she is cool.�
That is, you have already given without claiming anything in return, and you still have plenty of everything left ) With such an installation, as you understand, there is nothing to be afraid of.
“If you are, for example, a peach, and you met a person who rejected you, then this means no more than that there is at least one person on Earth who simply does not like peaches” (c) it is not known whose
You know, I'll probably say a terrible thing but…
Fear is good. this is your friend)
I was very worried in my youth ( meaning when I was still a teenager). I was afraid and so on.
and now I'm afraid.
It took a lot of time and relationships to understand that when you are afraid and overstep yourself, it's good
It means you care. you're ready, you want to, you like this person.
And when you are completely devoid of excitement, it means that you don't need a person either. you don't care what he thinks, does, wants, and so on – that's why you're not afraid for the result)
Therefore… be afraid, but appreciate it. and step into the pool boldly)
In short, the answer is to allow yourself to be rejected. Acknowledge the fact that you can't control other people. And you can't influence them for sure. So that: “I'll do it like this, and Petya will react 100% like this.”
This can be said to be the first step in the work of getting rid of such fears.
Imagine: if you don't allow yourself sometimes (not always, no) if you are rejected, then there is a high probability that you will soon stop taking the initiative at all. And why? After all, this can lead to the pain of rejection.
A different picture, if you accept that not all boys are required to respond to each other and correctly. In that case, yes, it will be a shame. But not fatally.
Second. Answer the question for yourself: what does it mean for you to be rejected? Are you getting worse? Self-esteem eroded?
The very fact that Petya said “No” to you is neutral. Petya said “No”, so he's passing by. There's also Sasha, Zhenya and Valera. That is, what happened has neither positive nor negative connotations. The “+” or ” – ” sign is sitting in your head. In the interpretation of what is happening.
Once you find the reason, you can work with it. If this, for example, hurts self-esteem, then the job will be to strengthen a good opinion of yourself, to make it less dependent on circumstances and other people.