8 Answers

  1. I explain what is called “on cats”.�

    There is such a tired concept: “comfort zone”. The very name is misleading: it immediately presents a picture of something very nice and good. But in reality, the “comfort zone” is not a sofa with soft pillows, it is not a place where there are no worries and upsets, but only a situation in which a person knows how to act. And objectively, the comfort zone can be an unloved job, a relationship with an alcoholic, or even a serious illness. For example, as a child, a child was constantly forced to do things that were not interesting to him, do cursed physics, play the violin, etc. The grown-up child will constantly find for himself just such a job, where you need to do unbearably disgusting and boring tasks for him. Because he knows how to behave in this situation. Offer them an interesting job and they'll get scared and won't know how to live with it. Or for example, a child in childhood was often ill, mothers-nannies ran after him, pitied, gave sweet lollipops, tea in bed, a book for the night. A grown-up child for some reason tries hard to find himself in a helpless state, because yes, this is a comfort zone, illness is a good reason not to go out into the world, not to start living outside the usual framework, a situation and a state in which you know how to behave. Offer a person a miracle pill and they'll spit it out, because they just don't know how to live outside of this objectively bad situation. The same goes for people who live with sadists, tyrants, drug addicts and other” terrible “partners from the universal point of view, and even if once they tear up and try to “get out of their comfort zone”, they very soon get back together with sadists, tyrants, etc. Because for someone, being a victim is a comfort zone, pulling 2 children and an alcoholic husband is a comfort zone. And if a woman suddenly meets a man who comes home sober and does not hit her in the kidneys, then she will last a maximum of a couple of months with him. Because there, she knew that it is necessary to give a rolling pin in his forehead with a rolling pin, at work they will regret the bruises and let her go early, with her mother in the kitchen for 50 grams and discussed that all men are bastards. And then suddenly a man – and not a bastard. What to do with it is unclear. Take it back. According to Dostoevsky, in general, a person first of all enjoys suffering.�

    So here's my point: maybe being unhappy is your comfort zone. You can use your brain to understand that the situation you are in has a rather negative impact on you and your well – being, but you are afraid to go beyond it, because there is the unknown. So, to answer the question: it's normal for most people to be unhappy. Because this is a habitual state in which you absolutely know exactly how to behave. It is absolutely known that after 8 hours at a job you don't like, you should go to a bar to relieve stress and write “thank God Friday”on Instagram. What if you suddenly have a favorite job? What should I do then? How should I behave? I do smoke because of stress, so what happens if I have to quit? No, I'd rather not change anything, and that's fine.

  2. If we take into account that unhappiness is a discrepancy between reality and expectations,then we can assume that this is quite normal,since most people tend to be optimistic (high expectations), but they do not do anything to realize these expectations.

  3. It's a double-edged sword, as they say. Of course, sometimes it's normal to feel unhappy and the world is unfair. It has already been proven that always being “on the positive side”, pulling a smile when you want to kill yourself, is harmful. But such a thing as psychosomatics has not been canceled, because as far as I understand, it is almost proven that stress, anger and other negativity can cause diseases ranging from headaches to stomach. So be careful. And if you are permanently unhappy, it is better to check it out, otherwise you will also be sick.

  4. It depends on what you mean by happy. My mother used to say that if your hands and feet were still intact, you wouldn't starve to death. I now have a “child” came to visit from the other side of the world and I do not know when I will see her again , here I sit enjoying happiness. And the Internet verbiage is all musolyat some psychological dogmas. Which are detached from the wicket.

  5. It's just as normal as being happy. If you manage to be truly unhappy, who will forbid it? Especially since so much is happening around you that it is much more difficult to be happy, and even not always in the right place.

    It is normal to be yourself and live the feelings and states that we find ourselves in. Live that is.

  6. No, if you're not happy, that's a problem.

    By happiness, I do not mean permanent euphoria, but the ability to enjoy life, enjoy it, feel interest in it, and the desire to “live” this very life.

    If all this is not present, then you simply lose the wonderful time that space, nature, or someone else has given you.

    And the one who will convince you that happiness is not necessary, it's just neurotics with a guilt complex, which is most likely drummed into their head by their parents, the idea that for some reason they do NOT HAVE the RIGHT to be happy. This is not their decision, but in their reasoning they are constantly engaged in justifying these decisions, because they are afraid to step over what they are just used to.

  7. Yes, this is the norm. This is where my favorite Dunning – Kruger effect works: a smart person will always think that they don't know enough, and fools will always be sure of everything. Hence, self-esteem, mood, and so on are formed.

  8. Yes, absolutely. And you don't need, in addition to normal unhappiness, to wind yourself up about the fact that you are unhappy. Happy people are either hypocrites who portray success and positivity in order, often without realizing it, to feed on other people's envy (but this is not real happiness). Or they are people of a high spiritual level. If you read the testimonies of meetings with saints, they are described as radiating happiness. At the same time, they may formally live in terrible conditions (poverty, illness, etc.), but holiness and spiritual depth, in any sense, are certainly not the norm.

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